I saw a meme that said "every one should ask the women in their lives how old they were, the first time they felt objectified or uncomfortable around a man, but no one is prepared for the answer".
Assaulted twice before 2nd grade, 5x before hitting high school age, countless harassment and unsafe situations, r*ped twice (14 and 25). I remember first and last name for every assault. I remember my friend who dropped out of school and basically life at age 13 after impregnation by a 35 year-old. I remember my friend at age 12 showing a bruise on her breast from a grown man who worked at the main store in our tiny town. And another classmate who seemed weirdly sexual at a young age but surprise surprise, was being raped by her stepfather. My own mother crying when she found her old elementary school photos and seeing her face covered in herpes from abuse that happened earlier in her childhood.
Sometimes I wonder why I freeze up around men I don't know, why I'm so "dysfunctional"...then I un-disassociate from my own damn memories and realize that it's a valid reaction, honestly.
I'm a dad to a 7yo girl and really struggle to imagine letting her be put into these conditions and situations to have any of those outcomes. We've got a classmates dad who gives a pretty off vibe (very overly friendly, very pushy) who we keep her away from.
Sorry you experienced all that awful traumatic shit.
A lot of the time you can think you are not letting her be put into those situations but most of the time abuse comes from inside your own family. Or with people you trust wholeheartedly. Ask me how I know 😇 my mother cried and cried thinking she had protected me as a young girl from dangerous situations when I told her that they had found me anyways.
What situations? Going to the store, going to school? There's a lot you can do to protect her, but good and cautious parents still have bad things happen to their kids.
Letting her be put into what conditions? No offence, but this is just regular life for a sickeningly large amount of women and girls worldwide. The problem isn’t “situations” — it’s men.
You can keep her away from one man, but you can’t keep her away from all of them. Are you going to focus on having her avoid individual men or will you admit that this is a problem with men in general?
What a dumb reply. We can only do what we can do. Educate your children about situations and honestly discuss these things with your family. But you can go ahead and try to change men writ large.
It’s not really ’situations’, it’s just life for women. My abuser was a trusted adult that was around all the time, and no one was the wiser. The way you can help is by calling out men’s shitty behaviour, and do it loudly and publicly. Embarrass them. But it will take other men standing up to them to listen.
I have a 3 year old, I also worry about my son. My sister was r*&ed in the next room when I was 8 and I could do nothing. That won't happen with my kids, the world would shudder to my reaction and evil would go back into their shadows for that single moment. It would be just a single lesson
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u/CarfireOnTheHighway 6d ago
so many of us have been this little girl and lost all joy in dancing :( it’s so sad