r/vegan • vegan newbie • 16h ago

Question How do you handle partner and closest ones not caring about the animals and environment?

I recently went vegan. Because I saw a video here and there about the treatment of the farm animals on my instagram. After that I’ve seen more and more and now I feel like shit all the time, and I feel like absolutely no one cares. At least in my circle of people.
My partner is not vegan, and I understand it’s a hard change to stop dissociating between the ”product” you eat, and the animal I guess?
I just feel like everybody only thinks of themselves.
How do you guys handle being with a partner or hanging out with loved ones with such different views on it?
They won’t even buy ”not tested on animals” or ”less climate impact”. Because they refuse to give up their comfort. I feel like I’m going insane because it feels so urgent and people are just thinking about themselves.

6 Upvotes

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u/AggravatingObject318 16h ago

Dude... you just went vegan. That means you spent however many years (decades, potentially!) being not vegan, just like they are. You have to realize that your epiphany is not their epiphany. So instead of being exasperated/horrified because they didn't transition exactly at the same time you did, why don't you lead by example? Share your delicious food. Swap recipes. Continue being yourself--and vegan--so they can see that animal exploitation is the only sacrifice you had to make.

Otherwise you risk losing not just their closeness to you, but their curiosity about veganism, too.

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 16h ago

Yeah you’re right. And I’m not trying to judge anybody because of what you’re saying, I’ve lived my whole life not vegan. I just feel so horrified and everything feels like such a big deal. Like I said, it feels urgent.
But thank you it really was a needed reminder

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u/Numerous-Recover1142 16h ago

I’d focus on the things you CAN change, like baking vegan cookies for friends to try, inviting someone over for a meal you know is bomb. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds when you first start.

I know it’s not flashy, but “be a good example” is always a good thing to try. I find that connecting people to veganism with my cooking is a great first step. Food is super personal, we put it into our bodies. People will always have emotional experiences over food, so make their vegan ones great!

Nora Cooks and Thee Burger Dude are resources I use 24/7.

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 1h ago

Thank you it’s very good advice! I’m going too check out the resources those are very needed

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u/Living_Atmosphere831 vegan 15h ago

Sound advice!

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u/Living_Atmosphere831 vegan 15h ago

A wonderful take on this matter.

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u/Visible-Promise7940 15h ago

i think the hardest part is accepting that you can’t make everyone around you care at the same level you do. you can explain why it matters to you, but trying to constantly convince your partner is probably just going to make you miserable so just lead by example and set clear boundaries for your own space

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u/filkerdave 14h ago

Trying to constantly convince your partner is a great way to be single.

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 1h ago

Definitely not going to do that. The post is more about coping than trying to change anybody’s mind

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 1h ago

Yes it’s definitely harder to accept than I thought it would be unfortunately. I will try leading by example.

4

u/C0gn vegan 1+ years 16h ago

Ask them politely to watch Earthlings and Dominion

If they still choose to pay for animal exploitation, thats on them

Focus on yourself

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 16h ago

Definitely going to try to get them to watch those

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u/_i_read 7h ago

My husband is vegan

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u/Eretici_dis 16h ago

You understand that they're their own person. You recently changed and they didn't. Now, it's a major change you did undergo so you have to reassess your own life and relationships within it.

I would hold on that reassessment a bit while you're still a new vegan but you do it when you need to do it. But you need to have a good, long hard think about what it means for your relationship. There are vegans who don't date non-vegans. That is something you can decide on. There are vegans who do date non-vegans, that's something you can land on.

There's no easy answers and there's only answers you come for yourself. But a big thing to realise here is that it was and is you that changed. Remember to never date someone in the hopes they change.

In general how to deal with the world being non-vegan? And the people? It gets easier with time. You get numb and the passion fizzles away. You realise that the best thing you can do for yourself is to live in accordance with your values and not think too much about other people. Live happily and that's it. Living in accordance to your values usually makes you happier so, you got that.

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 1h ago

Thank you, this is great. I guess I haven’t really seen it as a big change but it is. And at some point reassessment will be needed..

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u/Living_Atmosphere831 vegan 15h ago

When going vegan your eyes open up to many things around you!

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u/Remote_Barnacle9575 vegan newbie 1h ago

Yes it’s definitely been eye opening!