Good for you calling him out though. Unfortunately this is why people don't call it out. It goes against the status quo, and not everyone is brave enough to stand up. That's why we need to make sure these guys don't have a soft place to land. Or at the very least, make sure they are segregated away from the good men so we know who is who. Which of course happens by all the decent men cutting these dudes off. You did the right thing. You can't fix shit people.
Thing is I did the right thing but I lost out from it. Ultimately, still the right thing to do but no good deed goes unpunished. On the plus side I don’t have to spend time with the guy anymore. Once all this happened I just left the group. Posted in the chat saying ‘I’m leaving, last session just wasn’t what I wanted out of d&d’ then messaged the dm saying I’m leaving because I don’t want to force a ‘him or me situation’ but it was a bit disappointing no one stood up for me seeing as I’d been in the group longer. But I didn’t want to force people into that, you know?
It’s about calling out enablers too. I get that it’s tough/awkward/challenging/maybe even scary sometimes. Thank you for what you did regardless and I hope the other members have more confidence to call out bad behaviour in the future because they saw you do it.
Yeah but if I had done that I would have just lost four other friends. And honestly these are good people. They just are a little spineless, they’ve been bullied a lot in the past. They hate conflict. If I had forced the issue I know they would have sided with me, but they work with the guy so it’s hardly fair to put them in that spot you know. Sometimes life is more complicated than theoretical right/wrong on the internet unfortunately. Ultimately I’m happy with how I handled the situation. I didn’t upset my friends, I stood up for my values, and the dude has been done for a DUI and so can’t make the group anyway now and everyone is glad I’m back. If my friends didn’t work for this asshole (and in a less senior position) I would have kicked off more.
No im not lol I stood up for my own values and decided not to torpedo a bunch of friendships. Did you not hear they work for the guy? They can’t kick him. How selfish would I have been to make this about their jobs rather than my personal upset.
You’re exhausting haha. You’re on Reddit going after the guy who stood up against it. Direct your energy to those who don’t. You’re angry and arguing with the wrong person and you don’t even have the context to make your argument.
You didn't go against it. You said "um, I don't want to offend you but," to the guy, you defended the other friends, and you left the group bc it wasn't what you wanted from d&d, not bc you're sick of a racist, sexist gasbag. You did very little and now you want all the praise.
Which is guess is about par for the course for a man.
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u/FloppyDickFingers 3d ago edited 3d ago
Edit: forced to delete this comment because a few people are now harassing me for apparently not doing enough. Honestly Reddit sucks.