r/AskReddit • u/AuthorConfident9386 • 13h ago

Men, what’s one small, seemingly insignificant thing you’ve noticed that can be a telltale sign of the difference between a genuinely good man and a bad one?

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u/qxrt 10h ago edited 10h ago

Those who, upon facing adversity, adapt and make the attempt to figure out a workaround to a problem situation, versus those who just complain and have a victim mentality but won't lift a finger to attempt to fix the situation or help themselves.

Anyone can seem like a good person in good times. The real differentiating factor becomes apparent when there's adversity.

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u/HonestDisguise 9h ago

Second paragraph sure, I’m not sure the first paragraph has a lot to do with being a good person or not, it sound a lot more like resilience (a skill, with individual limits). Good people still get overwhelmed and struggle.

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u/TimmyC 6h ago

this is literally fundamental attribution error

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u/BLT_Trade_r 10h ago

This one doesn't have enough upvotes; it is absolutely huge. The tricky part is that most people will never get a chance to see this play out until it's too late (i.e., you are already deep in a relationship).

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u/Smashley21 4h ago

You have to commit to being a good person, you just can't say you are one.

Sometimes the right thing to do is easy and sometimes it's hard. The hard choice is where most people stumble but I think it's the most telling part of your character.

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u/TurboGranny 7h ago edited 4h ago

Unfortunately, I've noticed that this is most people. The mammalian mind evolved to avoid expending effort at all costs, and our brains are excellent at making excuses to avoid effort. The whole "I'm the victim" thing allows you to avoid effort in learning. I agree these people suck, but also, it's like most people.