r/AskReddit • u/AuthorConfident9386 • 13h ago

Men, what’s one small, seemingly insignificant thing you’ve noticed that can be a telltale sign of the difference between a genuinely good man and a bad one?

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u/EidolonRook 12h ago

Does he stop what he’s doing and listen? REALLY listen?

A man can’t see outside of himself if he doesn’t really hear the words of others around him.

There’s much that goes into being a good man, but a man who listens and absorbs from others has a better chance at getting there than men who disregard the feelings and perspectives of others.

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u/flip360 9h ago

I was admittedly very bad at being present in conversations and truly, actively listening my whole life. This year I finally got diagnosis and treatment for ADHD (in my 40s), motivated by work and my decreasing productivity. Now that I'm treating it, an unforeseen benefit is that I'm able to be much more present and actively engaged in everyday conversations.

I never realized that much of my temper and mood were tied to the level of energy it took me at all times to focus on literally anything. Medication has helped quiet my overactive mind which has led to much more space for being present in the moment. Paying attention in conversation is now easy. I take interruptions in stride and focus is so much easier to return to. Still tuning my dosage as it's only been a few months but I feel like I've unlocked a cheat code to being a happier, better partner and person. My wife is over the moon and our relationship is so much stronger since I've started treatment.

I'm not trying to hand wave or shift blame, and I totally agree and admit this was a major flaw I have/had. Getting diagnosed and treated is what actually helped me identify, understand, and start to overcome it. I'm kicking myself for not doing this decades ago.