How can I encourage my friends to go plant-based?

[u/Huge-Win-8248]

So I have been a vegetarian since my friends knew me, and I have recently gone plant-based (I still wear the leather jacket, belts, and boots that I bought before I changed so I am not really comfortable using the term vegan for myself yet). Most of them eat very little meat already (too expensive anyway), but they still eat a lot of cheese and eggs.
I don't want to be pushy, but now I've opened my eyes to what is actually happening, I cannot see my friends as I used to, if they keep exploiting animals.
Both of them are completely anti (human) exploitation and punk/anarchists, so I felt like a lot of the arguments could ring a bell?
But I don't know, they're both like "I know you're right but I won't" (which is an argument I really don't like). I think they are aware of the cognitive dissonance.
They are kind of open, and I am trying to give them time (I mean I have been a vegetarian for three years before going plant-based, so I can't really reproach them not to go vegan instantly), but I find it disgusting that they still eat animals and animal products. When I am with them, they are totally fine with eating vegan food, and one of them really loves tofu, so I am hopeful.

So yeah, they already are halfway through, I guess, and I would like to know if you had some tips/advice to help me encourage them?

EDIT: thanks everyone! I've read your replies and that's very helpful, and gives me a lot of hope! I'll try to cook for them when I can.
Also, I wanted to clarify that most of the time, our conversation on the topic come from them. I never initiate, and I try to stay factual and not become defensive. Anyway they do understand, they just won't do it, at least for now, probably because it's difficult to change all of your diet (especially since both have depression and some kind of ADHD/autism).

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[u/soaring_potato]

They know. Feed them good vegan food, but if you push too hard you may lose the friendship

[u/humblepervertsview → u/soaring_potato]

This. Feed them good food. Don't push.

[u/Numerous-Recover1142 → u/humblepervertsview]

Nora Cooks and Thee Burger Dude have very yummy and easy recipes! Convert them with food OP!

[u/Ethioj]

I got one friend to try being vegetarian for a month, he found out he loves tofu and makes it more than meat now. Another friend of mine had switched his daily bowl of meat for plant based protein. Another friend stopped buying animal products to have at home and only eats them when he’s out. I haven’t gotten anyone to fully commit but we gotta meet people where they’re at and accept what progress we can make.

[u/MengKongRui]

Look up Socratic questioning and Steelmanning!

They are extremely simple conflict resolution strategies that work wonders to resolve conflict in a genuine way rather than an antagonistic way.

Also, for people who "agree" with you but don't change, I think the strongest point of friction is not feeling like they're actually hurting animals when they're at the grocery line.

That's why I love to say, "The idea is, you go to a grocery store and buy some amount of animal products. What do you think they have to do in order to re-stock by the amount you purchased?"

I'm a 5-year street outreach activist, and this quote has been shown to help them connect their actions to consequences.

There's many more communication strategies from We The Free and Anonymous for the Voiceless out there that you can check out as well. We The Free specifically has a Zoom workshop you can attend when you sign up for it on their website.

[u/Nikkelnak → u/MengKongRui]

A democratic society literally sentenced Socrates to death for his elenctic method. Additionally, Plato's dialogues are famous for their aporia. So it's probably best to avoid that argumentative style, if you want to keep your friends.

[u/MengKongRui → u/Nikkelnak]

The ideal would be to use Socratic questions in a non accusatory way. That's why I included Steelmanning in my comment.

A steelmanning attitude completely changes the tone of the discussion.

I'm not sure what your approach is, but if it involves subverting their value system and try to just sneak plant-based products into their lifestyle, I think that's wayy more likely to facilitate fake relationships and foster distrust.

[u/Nikkelnak → u/MengKongRui]

Socrates never really accused anyone of anything, except maybe Euthyphro. His method just made people feel stupid and they resented him for it. Elenchus tends to do this and takes an extraordinarily intelligent person to use it correctly. Plato even argued in The Republic that the method should not be taught to either the youth or the uneducated because of how powerful and divisive it can be.

Personally, I recommend just being a good example and live a happy life. People recognize stuff like that and it makes them more open to different lifestyles.

[u/MengKongRui → u/Nikkelnak]

People oftentimes see their comfort as the most valuable thing in the world, but that can be taken into account and adjusted for using gestures of goodwill.

That way, a Socratic question feels less like it's dismantling someone's entire identity, and instead just dismantling one minor idea that doesn't reflect who the individual is.

A question that does not threaten their whole identity and that can be engaged with safely.

[u/Nikkelnak → u/MengKongRui]

I agree with you. But the average person is just not going to be able to do that.

[u/MengKongRui → u/Nikkelnak]

Steelmanning and supporting your adversary is pretty easy as long as you value authenticity.

[u/Nikkelnak → u/MengKongRui]

OPs not dealing with adversaries, he's dealing with his friends

[u/MengKongRui → u/Nikkelnak]

Even easier then!

[u/Borkato → u/MengKongRui]

What does steelmanning look like in relation to veganism? I know strawmanning, but what about steel?

[u/MengKongRui → u/Borkato]

To give an example, they may mention lower calcium intake associated with vegan diets, and so you can Steelman their argument by adding details that help support their claim:

"Yes, vegans usually have much lower calcium intake and some studies show that vegans have a slightly higher chance to break their hip bone than non-vegans. On the other hand, there's the benefits of increased fiber and antioxidants in a vegan diet, as well as whatever supplements you want to take if you're worried about deficiencies.

But, I think all this health optimization talk falls to the side given that you may end up suffering your whole life on this planet, just to add more suffering to the world. I mean this in a kind way, but what is the goal you're trying to optimize for anyways?"

[u/Eretici_dis]

Almost always "I know you're right but I won't" already means that "Yeah, sure I don't care, I'll say whatever to make you stop talking about this".

What to do? Live your own life.

[u/RealAggressiveNooby → u/Eretici_dis]

It may be inconvenient and uncomfortable to try and change things about other people, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do.

[u/Eretici_dis → u/RealAggressiveNooby]

You do that then. I'll continue to have friends instead.

[u/RealAggressiveNooby → u/Eretici_dis]

if your friends stop beings friends with you when you try to convince them to do the right thing, they might not be your friends.

[u/trail-snacks]

I agree with what everyone else is saying here that cooking for them, and showing them the joy from vegan foods is important. I’ve inadvertently turned people in my life towards being more plant-based, primarily from having open conversations about it (that they typically initiate) and what it means to me. I always stay really positive and don’t let it get combative, emphasizing that even small changes are great and the most sustainable. Recently I’ve incorporated an appeal to ethos, discussing the health and climate impact via what I’ve learned pursuing a masters of public health. It sounds like your friends understandably might be facing some level of empathy burnout/compassion fatigue, constantly seeing and caring about all the human exploitation going on in the world. Because of that, delving deep into animal exploitation seems so overwhelming on-top of changing their entire dietary habits/lifestyle (which from my degree I can say it’s not something people change easily because it’s tied with childhood & socioeconomic factors) that they’d rather just not engage deeply with the topic. If that’s the case, I don’t think pushing it so hard on them is the move. Instead, create moments to share the joy of vegan eating & if the topic comes up speaking passionately but also compassionately to them on it. I always remind myself that I was in their shoes not that long ago. Try to avoid any snarky or passive aggressive comments as that’s only going to reinforce the cognitive dissonance and harm the friendship.

[u/Mizeru85]

Step 1: Don't expect your friends to change for you. You either like your friends just how they are, or you need to find new friends. Seeing your friends differently due to new information is reasonable, expecting them to follow you in lockstep isn't. Step 2: Share as many delicious vegan foods with them as is possible. Bake ALL THE TIME and force goodies on them. Show them how well you eat and how you want for nothing. Bring awesome dishes to potlucks. I promise you you'll get better buy in with a positive spin than being sanctimonious. Everyone has their own cause. It could be your friends are fighting equally hard for human rights at the moment and just don't have the capacity to fight all the battles at once. Step 3: Be content with making a difference in your own right. This isn't a cult where we only get to vegan heaven by converting a specific number of souls. If you're doing your part by reducing demand for animal lives, you're doing great and you deserve to be content with that.

[u/filkerdave]

Live your best life. If they're interested they'll join you.

[u/Secret-Chapter-712]

If you can, cook for them. Works better than anything else, in my experience. Even better if there are a couple dishes they love that you can teach them how to make. “You’re right but I won’t” isn’t something you can argue anyone out of, but if they gradually decide for themselves that they don’t care as much about cheese, eggs, whatever their sticking point is because they have a few new favourites they like just as well (or ideally that they like even better)… boom got ‘em

(This is also how folks I know who didn’t have severe addictions but considered themselves “social” smokers or drinkers gave it up: they knew it wasn’t good for them, maybe didn’t even indulge much or that often, but hated the idea of being “forced” or “having” to “give it up.” It was more a control and self-agency thing. They wouldn’t be argued out of it, evidence wasn’t the point, threats/ultimatums from loved ones were counter-productive, they had to find a way of living they liked better first, then voluntarily choose for themselves)

[u/LunarModule66]

Debate about these subjects has been pretty thoroughly proven to only make people dig into their positions. What works is showing people that you have values in common with them and recasting the position you want them to adopt in terms of that shared value. I can say that I was positively influenced by vegans who were able to calmly and rationally explain their position without even really making it about “you should do this.” I tend to avoid sharing my opinion that yes, I do think that eating meat and animal products kind of makes you a bad person, and simply say “obviously I feel very strongly about veganism, otherwise I wouldn’t be one, but I understand that it’s a complicated topic.” Avoids saying anything inflammatory and sets a nonjudgmental tone, but also doesn’t require me to pretend that I don’t have opinions.

[u/C0gn]

Recommend Earthlings and Dominion online for free

If they watch it and still eating animals then you know what kind of person they are now

But they won't

[u/Striking_Incident_95]

Feed them good vegan food. When they're surprised how good it is, they may be willing to reconsider their own habits.

[u/No_Adhesiveness9727]

Good news the neurodivergent have higher rates of veg*nism

[u/RuffKnight_]

You can't.  You can educate them and try to motivate them but you cannot make them do anything they don't want to do

[u/Huge-Win-8248 → u/RuffKnight_]

Good thing I said encourage, then

[u/-cadmunt-]

I lost a bunch of weight via calorie counting but I always attribute it to putting more effort into being vegan when asked.