r/technology • u/WorldTravelerBoss • Jul 15 '26

Artificial Intelligence The terrifying rise of schoolboys making AI girlfriends. Boys as young as 12 are now in romantic ‘relationships’ with chatbots, and it’s affecting how they treat girls in the real world.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/05/25/schoolboys-ai-girlfriends/
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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/Chicken-Chaser6969 Jul 15 '26

No spoilers for tomorrow's article

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u/AceBean27 Jul 15 '26

How much do we bet that the equivalent article for girls won't say "and it's affecting how they treat boys in the real world"?

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

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u/SamuelClemmens Jul 15 '26

They are going to end refugee status for Ukrainian men in the EU too, so they can be deported to be conscripted despite that explicitly being a thing you cannot do to refugees

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Maybe anyone would take you seriously if you quit it with the strawmen and hyperbole.

Nobody is saying we shouldn't care about dead or maimed draftees, the point is about who is responsible for that suffering. You and others in this thread are trying to use the brutal reality of the Ukraine-Russia meatgrinder to bash women and feminists. But the people actively forcing those men into trenches aren't women; they are powerful male elites.

We should absolutely acknowledge the horrific, disproportionate impact war has on conscripted men. But weaponizing dead and maimed men as a cheap prop to score points in an online gender war against women (instead of blaming the authoritarian regimes actually putting them there) is gross.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Nobody has said women are sending men to war.
Nobody has bashed women or feminists at all. 
There has been no online gender war at all here. 

Uuuuh.... are we reading the same comments? Do yourself a favour and give them a quick skim, mate, because they are absolutely saying that and much worse

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u/TheRedHand7 Jul 15 '26

Also last time I checked it was (checks notes) ... MEN that started the war, and MEN that are forcing other men to fight? Huh, that can't be right.

Do you read your own comments before you post them or is this comment a surprise to you?

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

...I don't see your point? It is a fact that the people who hold the power to launch invasions and write draft laws are overwhelmingly elite men.

If you are mad that working-class men are being treated as disposable cannon fodder, you should be mad at the patriarchal, authoritarian systems that put them there... the exact systems feminism actually fights against.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

This is a masterclass in bad math and broken logic, Zelensky ran in 2019 on a platform of negotiating peace to end the conflict in Donbas. Blaming the women who voted for a peace candidate for the fact that an aggressive foreign dictator (Putin) decided to launch a full-scale invasion years later is Olympic-level mental gymnastics

Acting like voters in Russia (an authoritarian regime where elections are notoriously rigged, opposition is jailed or poisoned, and state media is absolute) have "democratic accountability" is laughably naive.

Once again, the laws exempting women and forcing men to fight were written, enacted, and are currently enforced by government and military elites (who are overwhelmingly men). Trying to blame female voters for a war started by an autocratic male dictator, and for draft laws written by male politicians, is just a desperate attempt to avoid blaming the actual people in power.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

It's not an "angle" if it's simply the truth... try explaining how it isn't, then?

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Mate, nobody is saying powerless draftees collectively bear Putin's sins, that is a massive strawman. The point is that the people who do hold the power to launch invasions and write draft laws are overwhelmingly elite men.

If you are mad that working-class men are being treated as disposable cannon fodder, you should be mad at the patriarchal, authoritarian systems that put them there... the exact systems feminism actually fights against.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

This is some Olympic-level history rewriting. Let's look at the actual facts:

You're talking about the 1917 election. A male Prime Minister (Robert Borden) cynically rigged that vote. He didn't give women general voting rights, he selectively gave them only to the mothers and wives of active soldiers because he knew they'd vote for reinforcements. He also banned anti-conscription immigrants from voting. That's a male politician playing chess, not women being bloodthirsty.

Yes, female rulers waged war. Because they were monarchs protecting their empires. This actually proves the point: war is about power and class, not a gender war.

Blaming women for a rigged 1917 election just to dodge the fact that male elites wrote the draft laws is a massive stretch.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Saying "context doesn’t change the facts" is a hilarious way of admitting you don't care about how history actually worked.

There was no trade deal where "women" negotiated votes in exchange for conscripting men. A male Prime Minister selectively handed votes to a specific group of female relatives to guarantee his desired outcome, while banning other women and anti-war men from voting at all.

If a male politician rigs a game and hand-picks the players, you didn't write the rules. You're still blaming women for a chess game played by male elites.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

so they waged war as some sort of inherent biological imperative? What are you even suggesting here?

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u/Main_Following1881 Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

Not one person said it was worse for men lol, also it doesnt matter to anyone if its a man or a woman who orders you to die

Edit: some of these comments are rough

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

....I can't. I mean, literally look at the comments, mate. One person literally said feminism is far more toxic than Andrew Tate, another compared them to literal nazis, one talks about women having "invisible privilege", "Women are the biggest enforcers of toxic masculinity", and many many more like that

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u/Main_Following1881 Jul 15 '26

My bad lol. Some of these comments are rough, but yeh competing for who has it worse helps no one.

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

You're right, of course, and I do try to be more helpful and compassionate in some of my comments here, threw a couple genuine recommendations out there haha, but it can be frustrating sometimes

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/AdHopeful3801 Jul 15 '26

Presumably because the male extremists are all busy with their manosphere podcasts.

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

...gee, it's almost as if feminism is not in any way, shape or form equal to the type of male extremist you're referring to.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/spiritriser Jul 15 '26

Look, I 100% am on board that demonizing men on the basis of gender alone is also evil to do, but I don't know that Andrew Tate is much less widespread. I'd also say he's waaaaay more toxic. Not as accepted thankfully.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

...and what, pray tell, is "toxic feminism"?

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u/bampfish Jul 15 '26

fr i don’t fucking get these people

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u/jimothee Jul 15 '26

As a dude, all I see in this thread is a man's take on feminism within an echo chamber. Or it's just more bot behavior (via upvotes) to push negative narratives about women. The fact that this thread ended up here is mostly due to a man's insecurity to have had to mention "yeah but if an article about women came out, it wouldn't say the same thing as it did about men!"

What are you fucking 12?

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Sounds to me like you might not know what feminism is, my dude? Otherwise you'd be aware that it actually accounts for men being victims as well, and works to improve everyone's life.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

By "everybody," do you mean your specific internet echo chamber?

If you actually want to know what feminist theory says about men (instead of relying on angry memes) do yourself a favor and read Bell Hooks.

Specifically, her book The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. It is a deeply compassionate, loving look at how patriarchy damages men's emotional lives, isolates them, and starves them of real connection.

Feminists have been doing the actual heavy lifting on men's emotional well-being for decades. You should give it a read before claiming to know what "everyone" thinks.

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u/seeseabee Jul 15 '26

Nope, you can fuck off

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Imagine using a quick Wikipedia skim as your ultimate "gotcha" for over a century of complex social theory. That is peak internet scholarship.

What makes this even funnier is that your own copy-paste literally disproves your point. It says feminism fights to "break down traditional gender roles" and "gender stereotypes." Who do you think those rigid, traditional roles hurt? Men are suffocated by them every single day!

Instead of relying on Wikipedia to do your thinking, try reading some actual feminist literature. Start with The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks. It is a deeply compassionate look at how patriarchy damages men's emotional lives and isolates them. You might actually learn something.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

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u/seeseabee Jul 15 '26

Oh hell no. Absolutely not, shit-for-brains

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u/AdHopeful3801 Jul 15 '26

A woman writing for women's magazines wants to talk about how a thing affects women? Must be an evil plot to "insert her own agenda and beliefs"!

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[deleted]

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u/WeeblsLikePie Jul 15 '26

Clearly willing to insert her own agenda and beliefs.

is that just "writer writes from her own perspective?" More breaking news at 11?

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

Only losers do that

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u/InvestigatorIll9993 Jul 15 '26

Every writer is not responsible for covering every perspective. She is writing to her audience. If it seems unbalanced that’s because it is. Seek out other perspectives and make up your own mind, but there’s no point in bashing the perspectives that don’t center your experience.

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u/ChecksKicks Jul 15 '26

It’s probably got more to do with the fact that when men have problems, they are more likely to become violent and murderous.

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u/Main_Following1881 Jul 15 '26

On average men are more likelly to be violent murderers compared to women, so no matter what its in everyones best interest to reduce the likelihood of it as much as possible.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK Jul 15 '26

we’re really going with “feminists are like Nazis” huh

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

...oh how I wish you could see the irony of your message. Sounds exactly like what you're doing to "feminists", mate.

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u/secretaccount94 Jul 15 '26

“Feminist” isn’t an immutable characteristic of someone. We can certainly judge people for their choices. I don’t agree that feminists should be treated as a monolith, but you can’t compare the category of “feminist” with “men”.

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u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

Once you dig deeper you start to see how truly twisted and sick these people really are.

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

There is a massive gulf between 'judging people's choices' and claiming millions of people 'do not view men as human beings' while comparing them to literal Nazis.

The irony is completely intact. They are complaining about dehumanization while comparing a massive, diverse social movement to the perpetrators of the Holocaust to paint them all as evil. You can criticize and debate an ideology without resorting to that kind of cartoonish demonization.

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

Can we get a single thread without the meninist brigade and their "woe is me" bullshit?!

First of all, the torygraph is an absolute rag, and everyone knows this, if you're taking it seriously... why are you taking it seriously? It's not that they are being somehow "unfair to men", it's that they suck.

Second of all, people talk about how men's behaviours affect others in these cases because (very obviously) they are the demographic that has the most violent impact! Globally, men commit the vast majority of violent crimes (roughly 90% of homicides). That framing is driven by a very real fear of what happens when men's pain gets turned outward.

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u/otterpop21 Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

Wow you really want to pretend men are some type of victim in social studies and articles?

The reason all articles focus on the effects of others when it affects men is men are so important to our society and ingrained that a change to men literally can change society and reproduction. When stuff affects women, it usually only affects women because that would require men on average to be controlled by women.

See how that logic works? Women don’t control American society on average. They’ve never been president, they don’t run Fortune 500 companies on average, they don’t even make more money than men on average.

That is why these studies on men focus on others.

They should have another study on how men run everything but still cry they have to think of others.

Edit: to clarify this isn’t a criticism. It’s literal facts, men run America? Your mental health affects everyone around you. I understand the happiness of women is important to men, doesn’t change the fact that men run everything & have all the power over American society.

If you see something wrong with that. That’s 1000% on you and should probably talk to someone.

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u/Knyfe-Wrench Jul 15 '26

Yeah, you're exactly what they were talking about.

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u/otterpop21 Jul 15 '26

What’s so sad is that’s how a lot of women feel but men don’t want to hear it so the problem is never resolved lol

Am I wrong?

Have there only been female presidents?

Do women run Fortune 500 companies on average?

No?

Then they have no power making societal changes besides voting.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/racalavaca Jul 15 '26

...mate, it's very telling that you read that and think they're "blaming all men"

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u/otterpop21 Jul 15 '26

I’m not blaming men for anything lol

I literally said “you guys run America”

So of course changes to you are important

Typical dudes don’t even understand a compliment when they get one. Running society is awesome, I’m sure, you guys wouldn’t know you’re too busy crying about how that’s not good enough you want everyone to worship you blindly without independent opinions too? Lol

Reread what I wrote, none of it was mean nor blaming anyone for literally anything lol

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/otterpop21 Jul 15 '26

Did you read the comment I replied to:

Yup, I've noticed this in other topics as well; problems directly affecting boys and men must be framed in a way which takes into account how it will indirectly affect women or others, presumably because in their eyes, men's problems are only problems if they affect other people.

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u/kant_destroyerr Jul 15 '26

invisible privilege many women still struggle to recognize

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/AStormOfDragons1 Jul 15 '26

But... That's actually a fantastic article that certainly captures my experience as a man.

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u/hippydipster Jul 15 '26

That was actually a pretty good essay.

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u/Rather_Dashing Jul 15 '26

Won't someone think of the female privilege! Thank god we have reddit to set society straight.

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u/Kobymaru376 Jul 15 '26

That part is actually just clickbait. Not much about that in the text.

Also one of the people using bots is a girl

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u/I_divided_by_0- Jul 15 '26

What are the odds on kalshi

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u/earth_verse Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

I don't doubt that AI is shaping how girls treat boys too, but I'm curious what specifically worries you there. That girls will treat boys worse, and it'll take a toll on them, emotionally? Because honestly, as a woman already living in a world where the vast majority of violence is committed by men, and I still have to fight for my rights, what worries me most is boys growing up dehumanizing girls/women even more than they already do, and that translating into even more rights taken away from women, and more literal physical harm done to women.

Sure, how this impacts both boys and girls is important, but the implications for each scenario are wildly different. I feel badly for the boys. I'm genuinely scared for safety of the girls. There's a difference.

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u/ZealousidealBet1878 Jul 15 '26

Yeah like .. I mean umm .. like .. men commit suicide twice as much as women!

So .. umm .. like .. aaa .. I mean.. like how do I put it so it really becomes obvious to you… umm that “take a toll on them, emotionally?” is precisely why you must brace yourself for more degradation of the social order

Literally every policy maker thinks like you do

So this will likely result in more violence and backlash from men who have been emotionally abused all their lives

Because suicide is not the only reaction you are going to get when you dehumanize men

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u/earth_verse Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

I hope you understand that this reads as a threat. My comment is a plea: "stop physically hurting us and taking away our rights"; and your comment is a threat: "stop emotionally harming us or we'll kill you" (men are already physically harming and killing women, and taking away our rights, for the record)

That's the language of the abuser.

We live in a world that is dominated and run primarily by men, and yet there are men out there who somehow still blame women for all of their problems.

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u/ZealousidealBet1878 Jul 15 '26

Have some empathy or kindness please!

I’m talking about coming generations of men in the future

Raising an alarm or pointing out a dangerous idea of yours is a threat?

Are those upcoming generations of men under my governance or something?

I am a nobody and will be long dead when your ideas would become fruitful, because they will definitely become policy

Instead of realizing that you are supporting dehumanization of men and that it would have negative consequences, you are weaponizing your lack of humility

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u/AdHopeful3801 Jul 15 '26

Wow. Definite "see what you made me do" energy going on.

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u/rainbowlolipop Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

Cry harder baby boy. Men have ruled the world for thousands of years, the system is built by men to hurt other men and women.

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u/ZealousidealBet1878 Jul 15 '26

Yeah in the past

And the past doesn’t exist anymore!

Since policies today are being made to deliberately damage men, that should be proof enough that the world today is not being governed by men

So the future will depend on whatever you decide to do with men .. what policies you make today

The problem is that people in power who are going to make policies are all emotionally immature and only operate out of resentment of something that had happened thousands of years ago .. even before they were born!

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u/AdHopeful3801 Jul 15 '26

So men are so violent they'll kill themselves, absent other targets?

You're not arguing your position very well here. Particularly since "emotionally abused all their lives" means very different things to people who have suffered actual emotional abuse than it does to all the assholes who think that not getting their way every time, all the time, is a crime against them.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/earth_verse Jul 15 '26

It sounds like your main concern is men not getting enough attention from women. "women are compromised from all the attention they get" "women will increasingly delude themselves to get the attention they want"

My main concern is for women's safety, rights, and bodily agency. My main concern is that men will harm and subjugate women -- something that already happens and is at great risk of getting worse.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/earth_verse Jul 15 '26

What is your request from women, then? Why do you feel women are the source of your issues?

What I personally want from men is for them to let us live peacefully, stop taking away our rights, and physically harming us. What do you want from women?

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u/DelugedPraxis Jul 15 '26

the issues that concern men like jobs, gender bias, stagnant wages.

I almost started replying to you but you also just derided feminism in general 5 minutes prior so we all know what to expect from your replies.

More to others reading than the person I'm replying with this; feminism is for everyone and it's ideals improves everyones lives. Don't fall down the same holes this dude has.

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u/AdHopeful3801 Jul 15 '26

You don't need AI for that to happen - it's already the case because the response a lot of men have to women being independent and having standards is not to rise to those standards, but to try and beat those standards out of women.

That's basically our entire current political moment in a nutshell.

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u/bonnielovely Jul 15 '26

the equivalent articles state that young girls who use these chatbots are more likely to withdraw socially from boys & girls. girls also show more pity & more envy from girls with chatbot partners & tend to leave girls with chatbots behind socially

young males tend to be more violent because they expect the young girls to be more compliant like the chat bots, which is why we’re seeing more of a physical & overt effect on girls from boys that use chatbots. the main “issues” on boys from girls that use chatbots is mostly ignoring them. while the opposite is more violent.

male chatbots operate on the same gender binary of female ones. so the male chatbots will act dominant to the girls who become more submissive. while the female chatbots act submissive to the guys who now expect girls in real life to do all the tasks, carry the mental load, never complain, & always support them, then they lash out in anger when the girls in real life aren’t as immediately compliant. while the girls see in real life guys as whiny & don’t see them doing tasks or showing them romance so they have zero interest.

sources: brookings, harvard kennedy, wiley library, national institute of health (nih), american psychological association (apa)

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/ThrowawayUk4200 Jul 15 '26

Gotcha, so as someone responsible for none of those things I also don't deserve compassion. Thanks.

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u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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u/SpiritualSecond Jul 15 '26

The extreme end of abuse may be more commonly male-on-female, but there's nothing in this article to suggest that AI companions are affecting e.g. attitudes to sexual consent or rape. Mostly the article is a bunch of anecdotes and hand wringing without any substance anyway, but when it does try to connect AI companionship to worse relationship behaviour (beyond the headline) it's stuff like : "Their whole engagement model is telling a user what they want to hear ... Why would they spend time enduring the reciprocity or the difficulties of a real relationship? But ‘frictionless’ relationships aren’t what life is about. People being thoughtless, selfish, falling out, that’s what human relationships are like".

And certainly neither teenage boys nor teenage girls have a monopoly on being unadaptable, thoughtless or selfish in relationships.

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u/lewd_robot Jul 15 '26

There's also a denial here of systemic disadvantage in dating going on here. The position of judge, one who sits back and waits to be impressed and gets to decide who is worthy of love and who is not, is a position of privilege.

Norah Vincent went undercover as a man to write a book called Self-Made Man. Two parts about the male experience shocked her: The first was that the world turned cold. The minute she walked out onto the sidewalk as her male alter ego, nobody smiled at her. Nobody held doors. Nobody helped her if she dropped something or couldn't reach something on a shelf. Everyone started avoiding eye contact, would pretend they didn't hear her if she tried to make small talk, etc.

The second surprise was in dating. As man, she was expected to approach women and risk rejection, over and over and over and over again. And when she did manage to get a date, she described the way women would sit across from her at the table and visibly appraise her every move while doing little to nothing to try to impress her as "soul crushing". She had to put in 1,000x more effort than her dates did and still got shot down constantly.

That's privilege. That's a set of significant privileges that every teenager is quickly confronted with. That means boys and girls using AI to "date" are approaching the issue from different angles. I won't speculate about what girls get out of it, but boys are avoiding repeated rejections and the burden of constantly being judged and appraised and expected to perform just the right way despite being too young and naive to know exactly what's expected of them or even who they really want to be.

In my opinion, nobody who hasn't had to spend their formative adolescent years navigating that should be sitting around insulting and demonizing children based on their gender.

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u/ThrowawayUk4200 Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

I read you going on a tirade when someone suggested if the roles were swapped it would exclude a line. That is their opinion and they're entitled to it.

Your opinion is that's because all men are rapists and murderers. That is your opinion and you are entitled to it, but don't get all defensive when you get called on it.

Nice personal attack at the end too to show off your personality. I hope you find happiness soon.

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u/lewd_robot Jul 15 '26

The rates of sexual violence aren't as different as you think. If you read a paper on the topic, they typically sharply underestimate assaults by women on men because they haven't classified those as assaults since the early 90s, when Mary Koss decided it was inconvenient for her data. Before she revised definitions to make it so that even if a woman drugged and tied a man up and forced him to have sex it wouldn't count as an assault, she found 1-in-8 men at university would be sexually assaulted by a woman, as opposed to 1-in-4 for women being assaulted by men.

That means a third of the victims of sexual assault she found in her early studies were men who were sexually assaulted by women. She wrote a footnote explaining that it was "inappropriate" to consider these men to be victims and changed her methodology to only count it as an assault if a woman forcefully penetrated a man, which lowered the rate of assault to 1-in-25, which is why you think there's a huge gap in sexual assault rates.

And you'd have known that if you ever fact checked anything you believe in.

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u/Kobymaru376 Jul 15 '26

I'm sure payback will fix the problem. Just shit on men for a bit more and ignore their problems for a couple of decades or centuries or millenia, then it will be even and we can finally have a truly equal society

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u/Beautiful_Hour_668 Jul 15 '26

Man it really isn’t 2015 anymore is it? I’m glad people are waking up to these nonsensical narratives, seeing her get cooked for her faulty logic is so satisfying lol

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u/lewd_robot Jul 15 '26

Just to play devil's advocate because you don't seem to have read a single shred of modern feminist literature: Who do you think raised all those generations of patriarchal oppressors? Who do you suppose passed on the tenets of everything you're railing against, generation after generation, before modern careers and social services?

You said there aren't thousands of years of precedent of women abusing and controlling men, but how about the thousands of years in which women abused and controlled boys to ensure they grew up to be good little soldiers for the patriarchy?

And that's just the tip of the iceberg, if you ever feel like opening a book on the topic.

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u/ibleedpumpkinjuice Jul 15 '26

Ah, the good ol' "it's all the fault of women, they're own oppression of course too". No they're not, shut up.