r/technology • u/WorldTravelerBoss • Jul 15 '26

Artificial Intelligence The terrifying rise of schoolboys making AI girlfriends. Boys as young as 12 are now in romantic ‘relationships’ with chatbots, and it’s affecting how they treat girls in the real world.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/05/25/schoolboys-ai-girlfriends/
21.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

2.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

540

u/orlybatman Jul 15 '26

This is about schoolboys, but it's known to be happening among schoolgirls and adult women as well.

The real world consequences of sycophantic AI on social skills is like the effects of social media on crack.

10

u/Ok_Nectarine1801 Jul 15 '26

Ya, women can have all the raunchy romance novel love they can handle and no messy side affects.

207

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

89

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[deleted]

13

u/ohnoitsbobbyflay Jul 15 '26

Lately? This place is worse than Twitter

0

u/otterpop21 Jul 15 '26

No it’s not lol

Twitter has basically very little moderation. Reddit is so sanitised it’s unreal. Depend on your definition of “worse” but objectively due to upvotes downvotes Reddit is better. At the very least it’s at least trying to have balance

-3

u/Zoler Jul 15 '26

Its 99% bots which want to cause outrage because outrage lead to clicks

-1

u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

Aaaaaaand downvoted by bots.

8

u/BoomerAliveBad Jul 15 '26

They like to be called "femcels" FYI (Not actual advice, results may vary)

-21

u/crabcycleworkship Jul 15 '26

Nope. This was funded by a men’s org. I don’t think women’s orgs have done as much studies on tech while they should. More men are in tech and will fund these studies.

54

u/poply Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

Look, the org is fine. The report is fine.

What's weird is the editorialized title and subtitle by Nicole Mowbray qualifying it as "terrorifying" and adding a conclusion that "it’s affecting how they treat girls in the real world", especially when nothing in the primary report referenced indicates boys are mistreating girls at escalating rates.

This is literally the only line in the five page report that could be inferred as boys/people are treating friendships and relationships differently due to AI.

Boys are both noticing the change in behaviour in their friends as their friendships are negatively affected, and are worried about the impact that widespread use will have on social skills and relationships

Maybe the author who wrote these other articles in 2026:

How dating became an extreme sport for men

and

‘I’m fed up of being a slave’: The women who regret becoming mothers

Is not an entirely unbiased source to filter and deliver very inflammatory, hot topic issues regarding gender.

15

u/q-_-p7 Jul 15 '26

But even 'men's orgs' are run by women. Movember one of the biggest and longest running men's rights charity movements is run by a woman with a mostly female team.

-7

u/GoodGuySeba Jul 15 '26

Faker than kim k's butt

-7

u/somersault_dolphin Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

Hatred against what though? There're a lot of problems going on right now. The evil and greedy mfkers are getting bolder, people are getting dumber, do you expect people to just say nothing as we're self-destructing as a species?

Of course there's fanning the flame, but even without that things just aren't looking great in the world.

-14

u/Ranessin Jul 15 '26

Of hate on women? True.

34

u/Party_Solid_2207 Jul 15 '26

It’s been in for about 20 years now

-18

u/Hari_Azole Jul 15 '26

I wonder why? *audible gunshots in the distance

12

u/Party_Solid_2207 Jul 15 '26

I don’t understand what point you are making.

I don’t live in a country with wide scale access to guns.

Are you saying that 50% of the human race regularly shoots people and 50% doesn’t?

I don’t see any evidence for that.

-19

u/Hari_Azole Jul 15 '26

Don’t be obtuse. Where you’re from isn’t relevant.

Which gender is responsible for the majority of violence?

11

u/Consistent_Frame_531 Jul 15 '26

You mean non-recripcal partner violence? Because I've got some bad news for you.

1

u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

But they won't respond to this of course.

11

u/Party_Solid_2207 Jul 15 '26

Generalizing bad things done by some members of a group on to the whole group is a stupid idea.

Telling young boys that they are intrinsically damaged and damaging in some ways does not help this situation.

Maybe we should smear all women as child abusers because the majority of child abuse comes from women.

0

u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

Anyone who does what you just said (telling young boys that they are intrinsically damaged etc.) is a child abuser. Plain and simple.

-18

u/Hari_Azole Jul 15 '26

LOL who said any of that extra crap you’re throwing in? Stop putting words in peoples mouths.

I’m generalizing? Don’t think so… Go to a men’s rights sub. This place is for facts.

You’re crying and bitching about why younger male demographic trends are of particular special interest in these think pieces... I’m telling you why. It’s because of male propensity toward violence. And that includes self harm.

6

u/Party_Solid_2207 Jul 15 '26

We were talking about a “males bad” narrative.

You instantly said it’s because males are violent. You generalized bad behavior of some males (who can be more violent although it’s often a very small minority that is responsible for the vast majority of violence) on to 50% of the humans on this planet.

You did that. It’s not anything I made up or projected.

I am male. I have seen male violence.

I have also seen female violence, many times from mother to daughter, from female partner to male partner.

We collectively pretend it’s not a thing even though it’s all around us.

Yes there are hyper aggressive males who are most successful at using violence so they use it. People use tactics that are successful to them. It’s often also males that police and mitigate that violence and protect others from it.

You epitomize what was referred to before as the “male bad” bullshit that most people are frankly bored of.

It doesn’t get to the root of the problem, it only impacts the men and boys who already care, not the ones who are already happy to actually be the toxic man stereotype

-2

u/Hari_Azole Jul 15 '26

LOL The window for discussion has closed! This is really boring…

I’m sorry I made a crass joke. When you pointed out that “male bad” has been trending for 20 years—I just assumed you were alluding to Columbine being the reason. My bad!

Anyway, you guys seem really pressed that males were centered in this piece but it’s obviously because it’s tied to concerns about the male loneliness epidemic and toxic masculinity/violence—subjects that are evergreen. And 2 of the 3 high profile chatbot suicides so far were males… And male violence is more common and that’s why more attention is being paid to it. Females are not typically the ones shooting up malls and schools or attacking their peers…obviously. People are more-so worried about how chatbots will effect boys for these reasons.

And, no, people aren’t tired of this topic. Adolescence was the most celebrated original piece of media last year. It’s all about toxic masculinity, misogyny and violence in young males. Chatbots are just another thing to worry about in the mix!

Anyway, I think you want a broader discussion but thats really all I meant and again, I’m bored!

32

u/Ron_the_Rowdy Jul 15 '26

it's sad how school boys are demonized from such a young age that they're starting to turn towards AI girlfriends, and somehow this is also their fault too. This is worrying and sad

10

u/DressUnited3025 Jul 15 '26

Women are treated as having 0 agency in our society for most things. Any issue between a man and a woman will always boil down to a man not doing something correctly enough so the woman had to react poorly

3

u/Ron_the_Rowdy Jul 15 '26

exactly. this is precisely the problem. kids are inherently assholes. Because they don't know better. They're at an age where they do many things not correctly enough, but one side is way more scolded than the other. And logically, if one side is way more scolded, they start go grow resentment, and the side that gets a free pass think they get away with anything and grow toxic in their own way. A bit different but sorta similar like how parents are usually way more strict on the eldest child and let the youngest get away with anything. Except with boys and girls, there's no family ties to scale back the resentment

8

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Ron_the_Rowdy Jul 15 '26

then why do you think so?

9

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ron_the_Rowdy Jul 15 '26

this is very true for adults I'd say. would school kids be isolated and needing third spaces/spending money though when they're seeing kids their age 5 days a week for hours? The social media effecting relationships I agree. more and more supervision? What happened? ngl I haven't been to school in a decade and am still a few years out from having a child so I have no idea what's going on in that part of the world

1

u/whitedolphinn Jul 15 '26

Demonizing innocent boys is child abuse. This is who we're up against. Literal fuckign child abusers who think that they aren't because they probably don't even view males as human. They're fucking psychopathic

3

u/touristtam Jul 15 '26

To be honest that might be the most common denominator to try and catch most people's attention. I bet if someone is into niche stuff they wouldn't even get a second notification about it.

3

u/RadioSilens Jul 15 '26

I don't think this is about males being bad. This focus probably has more to do with the male loneliness crisis that has been getting a lot of media attention recently.

8

u/wookiepartymachine Jul 15 '26

The headline references male loneliness and ai relationships only to bring up how they effect woman. Once you start to notice this pattern you’ll see it everywhere.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/NoightofFire Jul 15 '26

The title quite literally makes the point that the main issue with this is how girls are affected by this. Framing the boys as perpetrators instead as victims.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/NoightofFire Jul 15 '26

That male issues are often ignored until they also affect women? Yes this is something to be concerned about

8

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Hari_Azole Jul 15 '26

I’m up to 3!

3

u/lacegem Jul 15 '26

Thinking about six things at once is pretty impressive.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/Ranessin Jul 15 '26

It's from an organization focusing on helping boys and men. So the focus is - boys and men.

-6

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-8

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-8

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[deleted]

112

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

91

u/orlybatman Jul 15 '26

I wasn't criticizing the scope. I was commenting that it's not just a male phenomenon.

24

u/Fallenangel152 Jul 15 '26

It's the framing too.

If this was about girls, it would be framed as "how can we help these women?"

But it's boys, so it's "how can we stop these boys hating women?"

30

u/Necessary-Ad7734 Jul 15 '26

It’s done by the group ‘Male Allies’, which is a feminist organisation.

18

u/anillop Jul 15 '26

Oh so its one of those "how can me be better and improve their lives.... for women".

18

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Denelz Jul 15 '26

its more the stigma associated with "femenism" overall, its a movment that is not for equality, just to elevate female rigths to the level of male rights.

some use it interchangeble with equal rigths, and some use it only as the female rigth to being equal to male rigths.

so i understand why someone being hesitant of "an male alie organisation" being run by people that in their mind is not about true equality.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Necessary-Ad7734 Jul 15 '26

‘I understand the stigma and concern’ well clearly you don’t, if you think the only issue is whether or not they call themselves feminists, and not their words and actions.

They are clearly biased towards framing issues as gendered, which is we’re arguing is incorrect framing for this issue.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Necessary-Ad7734 Jul 15 '26

I should have said feminist, not gendered. But I think you knew what I meant.

The fact is a “focus on problems men are experiencing” somehow always turns into how “it’s affecting how they treat girls in the real world” wherever groups like this are involved.

-5

u/amILibertine222 Jul 15 '26

How is ‘elevating women’s rights to the level of men’s rights’ different from ‘equal rights’?

I’m confused, I think maybe English isn’t your first language?

Genuinely asking and not trying to be rude.

6

u/WallyRenfield Jul 15 '26

I think I can explain in an abstract way. Imagine you have two groups of people: Group A and Group B. To simplify things, let's pretend there's only 10 categories of "rights" that are relevant to the two groups, numbered 1 through 10.

Let's say historically, Group A has a pretty good situation with rights 1-6, but rights 7-10 really put them at a disadvantage. On the flipside, Group B was really discriminated against for rights 1-6, but had a good situation with rights 7-10.

Group B saw that they're not doing well regarding as many "rights" as group A did and, rightfully so, began a movement to fix that. Over the years, they made some progress. They acquired rights 5 and 6 and have nearly accomplished all their goals regarding right 4.

Group A says "it's great you made progress, but we'd also like to see rights 7-10 addressed at the same time." If Group B says "Yeah, you're right" and they work together, that's great, that's fighting for equality.

If Group B instead says "Hell no, not until we've accomplished all our goals with rights 1-3, then maybe we'll look at your group if you're nice to us", that's a different story. That can give the impression that they're not fighting for equality, but rather for a new form of privilege. This is especially true if they flat out oppose strides Group A makes in addressing their own inequalities.

I won't argue whether Feminism is actually opposing men's issues or even whether they've narrowed the gap as much as the example I provided above, but I can understand the question of whether the movement is adequately addressing equality as a whole, or instead just eliminating inequalities that women face.

1

u/Denelz Jul 15 '26

This is exactly what i mean "How is ‘elevating women’s rights to the level of men’s rights’ different from ‘equal rights’?" is ones ided, what about mens issius then? "gender-pay gap" okey, that’s bad, but what about feminism and elevating women will help mens mental health?

you cant just elevate one side to the highest common elevation and call that equality, when the valley of the other sides rights wont get the same treatment.

im not against feminism, i just say we need MORE that ONLY feminism

can give

7

u/SincerePeace Jul 15 '26

But nobody here has read the article.

2

u/pineapplecharm Jul 15 '26

I don't think social media has had a negative effect on crack has it?

5

u/Nomofo79 Jul 15 '26

Maybe you got here first, but right now every comment is saying this and nobody is commenting meaningfully on the article itself.

1

u/Disconsented Jul 15 '26

The irony here is that if this was a gender swapped comment/article, you'd be accused of hijacking at best.

0

u/TalkingCat910 Jul 15 '26

Don’t forget adult men

7

u/orlybatman Jul 15 '26

Not just the men, but the women and children too.

0

u/RollingMeteors Jul 15 '26

>The real world consequences of sycophantic AI on social skills is like the effects of social media on crack

Y'all acting like we should be blaming the crack instead of the people smoking it.

Nobody blames the CIA for inventing crack...

People talk about how crack is a problem instead of talking about the desire to smoke crack being a problem.

¿Could it be because nobody thinks you can find a solution for the latter?

0

u/gerusz Jul 15 '26

The real world consequences of sycophantic AI on social skills is like the effects of social media on crack.

It's pretty much the same thing that was happening to the super-rich and the aristocracy before them, but now that it's available to anyone, we see that on-demand constant validation fucks up the human psyche. (At least some aristocrats were wise enough to employ a jester who could criticize them without fear of retribution.)