"she made bad decisions, that's why she can't walk" - to a stranger with crutches.

[u/Yggdrasilo]

So I'm at the self checkout. I go to one next to an older lady and her spawn probably

A bit later lady with crutches comes to my left.

🧑‍🦱 🩼 ◾ ME ◾ 🙍‍♀️ 🧒

Kid says "she can't walk! Why can't she walk?"

"because she did something silly. Like jump off a roof. We don't do stupid things" There was more than that ya know. Old woman repeating self etc.

Only later I noticed who had come to use the checkout next to me and it really hit me.

Is that a thing now? Do we just shit talk strangers from right next to them now? And victim blame people who are hurt? Lady is in crutches in a busy store and this fuckass old woman's thoughts as 'you make bad desicions' and she's telling a kid that.

[u/NotThatChar]

Some people just aren't good at parenting. Using strangers as lazy examples is probably her main strategy.

[u/stix-and-stones → u/NotThatChar]

They're the same people who say "go to college so you don't end up waiting tables in your 30s" while the server with a college degree is trying to take their order

[u/LinkGoesHIYAAA → u/stix-and-stones]

I used to teach a youth martial arts class in my early 20s. One time a parent came to class with her son, and she was like “we recently found out he hasn’t been doing his homework for one of his classes.” Then posed the question to me of whether or not i, his self defense instructor, find that acceptable. As though because i’m an authority figure to her son i should be expected to parrot HER values to get him to behave.

Without addressing him yet, I asked her how he’s doing with his other classes and she said fine. I said “well in high school i had a lot of homework to get through every night to keep my grades up, and sometimes i skipped homework for my least favorite class bc i saved it for last and was too tired after finishing the rest. I turned out fine.” My job is to teach the kid how to defend himself, not police other aspects of his life. That’s her job.

Then i looked down at him and was like “ready to go punch some stuff?” and turned around to face all the other kids and yelled “OKAY LETS LINE UP!” and proceeded to teach the class lol.

I avoided eye contact with her the whole time after that, but could feel her irritated stare the whole time.

[u/sourdoughbreadlover → u/stix-and-stones]

I was a cashier in college and a man said something similar to his kids in front of me.

I just blurted out that I am in college and I have a scholarship but I have to buy books, food etc.

He shut up after that.

[u/randomusername1919 → u/stix-and-stones]

Servers make better money than many people with college degrees.

[u/stix-and-stones → u/randomusername1919]

This is true - I've served tables the past 14 years and finally finished the degree I dropped out of 10 years ago. I made a lot more money serving/bartending than I do now 🥲

[u/NotThatChar → u/stix-and-stones]

Yup!

[u/Activist_Mom06 → u/NotThatChar]

Yes. They will let most anyone take a baby home. No training.

[u/rob_1127 → u/NotThatChar]

Some people try to use it as a "teaching moment" to try and get the kid to be afraid of doing things.

At the detriment to the lady with the crutches.

The mother, has no idea if somone drove into her and she was injured, she slipped on the steps, or had an elective procedure done, etc. for a medical reason.

Instead of saying well, she needs the crutches to keep her mobility while her leg heals.

And that is the end of the conversation until we are in tne car.

Teach the kid to ask questions, but also sometimes wait for an answer. I.e. patience!

[u/markallanholley]

People with disabilities are the largest single minority group, if I'm not mistaken. And they're often the first to have things and opportunities and freedoms taken away from them when certain types of people come into power.

And the disabled is the only class that any of us can join, at virtually any time.

[u/Soot-Bat → u/markallanholley]

I saw a quote saying something like "you're only temporarily able-bodied" and that has stuck with me since.

[u/Revadarius → u/Soot-Bat]

If bad luck or genetic predisposition doesn't get you, time certainly will. The greatest crippler.

[u/mahogany818]

Sounds like the same kind of parent who would, when their kid is a bit older, try and use a cashier as the example of "this is why you go to college, so you can have a real job".

Lazy parenting, rudeness and prejudice all rolled into one.

[u/PowermanFriendship → u/mahogany818]

It's really like an onion of stupid. In addition to everything you mentioned, a person with crutches is walking. Teachable moment number one, right over the old bat's head.

[u/BakingAndBeingBaked]

As a mobility aid user… yes this is sadly common. I’m young, and not visibly disabled, but I need a wheelchair. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people talk about me without lowering their voices.

I don’t ever mind the kids because I know they are curious, but I was at Walmart 2 days ago and some middle aged lady looked at me and loudly said “young people have no shame, stealing someone’s wheelchair just for attention”.

So yes, this is quite common. And honesty after a while it goes from majorly to mildly infuriating because you become almost numb to hearing these things.

[u/ProbioticOnARobotic → u/BakingAndBeingBaked]

You should get a confrontational friend to come with you to Walmart. I know some people. 

[u/CCL80 → u/BakingAndBeingBaked]

This is why I don’t use my walker in Walmart. I get my cane to get me to a cart and use the cart like a walker. (I have Cauda Equina and am lucky to be walking despite the pain and the struggle).

People are judgy and rude and need to realize that just cause something doesn’t fit in their mental picture doesn’t mean they are right. Makes me so angry.

[u/heavensto_mergatroid]

Damn. As a disabled guy I don't even know how I would respond to that. I spent 16 days in the hospital and I had to relearn how to walk and it was such a milestone when I got to go out of the house using crutches. If somebody would have told me that it would have crushed me.

[u/randomusername1919]

I was walking into a grocery store when a woman and her spawn were walking back to their call with the mom saying “see, that’s why you do your math homework. So you don’t have to have a job like him” while pointing to the guy bringing shopping carts back to the store. It was the store manager. Yeah, if you do math homework you won’t have to be in management…

[u/MixedBerryCompote]

I would totally corrected her and told the kid you have cancer and are probably gonna die from it.

[u/Hot-Win2571 → u/MixedBerryCompote]

I did once have a smartass make a comment about me, and then drove off before I could ask if he was able to take my chemo treatment for me.

[u/Life_Argument7820]

Yes. Ive been going through identity theft and for some reason as a victim you get shit on constantly... change your password, check your statements regularly... people have no idea about how fucked having all your information blasted on the dark web fucks with ya. Tons of fraud, but ya totally my fault 🙄

[u/Miballsurchin]

It’s simple projection. The old bat makes garbage decisions constantly and thinks everyone else is as dumb as her.

[u/ibechris8 → u/Miballsurchin]

This. This right here is one of the major reasons. When people are not happy with their life, they put others down to be "better" than atleast that person. I've seen people who have a lot going for them in life as far as nice things, money, beautiful family, but they aren't happy with themselves and try to tear other people down for them just to feel "a little" better. Those people are just miserable.

[u/BetNew9265]

As a disabled person, this has always been a thing and it’s more than mildly annoying

[u/RadiantRadish501]

I recently sprained my ankle & I work retail. A customer (knowing nothing about me or how it happened) told me that it’s a spiritual message to me that “you’re not on your path.”

[u/SirisC]

That sort of bullshit ain't exactly new. Miserable people shit talking about strangers has been around a long time.

[u/faesser]

I wouldn't say she victim blamed you. I think she willingly lied to try to scare her child into not doing stupid shit. She tried to make you look stupid to scare the kid.

[u/CatsEatGrass → u/faesser]

Old lady was talking about the shopper behind OP, to clarify.

[u/faesser → u/CatsEatGrass]

Thanks. I'm tired, brain not loading

[u/MelissaCop → u/CatsEatGrass]

Not sure if the old lady is really old if she has a kid that young

[u/effyoucreeps]

just-world fallacy

my father still has it stuck in his brain, even after my angel of a mother, and his admitted “soulmate”, died of an aggressive and rare cancer through no means of her actions

he has been lucky his entire life, and his racist/misogynistic ass thinks it’s because “he’s a good guy”

we don’t talk much

[u/FairyFartDaydreams]

She is trying to discourage risky behavior in the kid but going about it the wrong way

[u/nunya_biz1970]

As a parent, my guess is the spawn (even more precise the boy) has been making bad choices like jumping off a roof and parent has exhausted themselves telling them that they are going to get hurt. Random person who is on crutches is used as a object lesson for why the decision to jump off a roof is a dumb one. Yes, not kind to use a random person like that, but valid.

[u/songofthecosmos → u/nunya_biz1970]

In no way is what she did valid.

[u/Yggdrasilo → u/nunya_biz1970]

It really wasn't centering about being safe though, her ramblings were literally just berating a stranger, assuming their injuries were their own fault.

[u/OcotilloWells → u/nunya_biz1970]

I could see that. Not great, but my kids were experts at pointing out other kids being unsafe. But pretty good at still doing it themselves.

[u/DameKitty]

I was on crutches for a while because I sprained my ankle pushing a wheelbarrow uphill. Doing yard work made me sprain my ankle. Idk how that's a bad decision, so that lady should stfu. I'd be more than mildly infuriated.

[u/EntertainerNo4509]

I see lots of fuckasses just as you described here telling their kids all manner of nonsense. It’s very infuriating.

[u/FullCircle2024]

Yes, this is exactly who we are now. It seems this type of stuff is all I encounter anymore.

I know there are a lot of really nice and kind people out there and I do encounter them but it only takes one jerk to ruin the day.

[u/CCL80]

That is beyond mildly infuriating for me. I’m in my mid 40s and walk very short distance with a cane and mostly with a walker.

Because I got a spinal injury from a car accident 2 years ago.

Just cause someone younger is using mobility aids doesn’t mean they did something stupid.

and parents these days. Smh.

I have one young man in my neighborhood 4 younger than my son so… 18 now. Has been calling me “Chemo Cripple” for 2 years. (Also cancer survivor). Can’t go to the parents cause without “proof” it’s a “witch hunt”. (Yes. The father has a red hat).

It’s society today. And I doubt it’s gonna get better.

[u/girlwhoweighted]

🐂 💩

[u/tibearius1123]

It’s not that big of a deal. Most people on crutches will tell you it’s because of doing something stupid.

[u/CatsEatGrass → u/tibearius1123]

“Most” is a stretch. “Many” could be accurate. Most of my middle school students on crutches have sports injuries, which I think is likely not caused by mere stupidity, if stupidity at all. Of the last two times I’ve had crutches, one was from slipping on an unlit step I didn’t know existed, and one was from something stupid. If most of the people YOU know get hurt for being stupid, then I question your choice of friends.