Where to find mentally ill women to date? - Pat and the Girls

[u/forthex]

https://youtube.com/shorts/IOuzNv41PLQ

[u/Glad_General7343]

Ngl I’ve spent months telling my more chronically single friends that you can only get a partner if you (heaven forbid) do something where you meet people. I also tell them that they should go with the expectation to just meet people and not find a romantic partner immediately

[u/MotherWolfmoon → u/Glad_General7343]

I've found it's difficult, because the more enjoyable the activity is, the smaller the percentage of single people looking to find someone else.

A good board game night is filled with married couples looking for something relatively cheap they can do with their partner, or folks who just REALLY love Settlers of Catan. Great folks who are not looking for a date.

On the other end of the spectrum is the LGBTQIA+ Support Group, where everyone is desperate and horny and five years into the worst decade of their lives. It's the most miserable experience of your life, but everyone is there to find someone.

[u/A_Zealous_Retort → u/MotherWolfmoon]

People know people married or not though, I cannot count how many people from the pre-internet generations I have heard stories from that summed up as "We had married friends in common who thought we would be cute together, so they introduced us."

[u/bigbeltzsmallpantz → u/A_Zealous_Retort]

Married people have single friends. People in their 50s have kids are nieces and nephews who are in their 20s.

Prove yourself not to be a weird and you might get lucky.

[u/Cinerator26 → u/MotherWolfmoon]

Fuckin' this. I love board games, everyone recommended that I go to a local board game night to meet someone. I go to one, what do I see? Everyone there is either 50+ or in a committed relationship. Huzzah.

[u/ThonroTheUnworthy → u/Cinerator26]

Better start either home wrecking or getting really into GILFs then

[u/MotherWolfmoon → u/ThonroTheUnworthy]

Don't limit yourself: get into married gamer GILFs.

[u/begrudgingredditacc → u/MotherWolfmoon]

Break Your Limits: Get Into Gamer GILFs is a good podcast title.

[u/ToastyMozart → u/MotherWolfmoon]

Especially when the demographics of your hobbies and interests are slanted heavily against your preferences.

[u/That-Bobviathan → u/Glad_General7343]

I went to a mixer a few months ago, didn't get a date but I just had a blast when I found a group of people to hang out with.

[u/DerpsMcGee → u/Glad_General7343]

Ok, but that's hard tho. How can I do it without leaving the house or putting in any effort?

[u/Vikinger93 → u/Glad_General7343]

I had a buddy who went to acrobatics classes. He didn't find someone there (i think he found someone through courses at Uni), but met a bunch of interesting people and discovered he quite enjoyed the core workout.

[u/invaderark12 → u/Glad_General7343]

For me its just finding things where I can meet people. Especially since for me I would prefer it to be things I already enjoy doing cause in my mind, doing stuff like going to clubs or bars isn't really my vibe. And the thing i do enjoy, going to cons, almost everyone already has someone.

[u/burneraccount9132]

Holy shit Hina just went full attack-mode 2/3rds in, jesus

[u/LLCoolZJ → u/burneraccount9132]

Her initial answer of hiking was subtly diabolical too.

[u/ChildrenofAeos]

Hina's answer was diabolical holy shit.

More sane answer: do volunteer stuff. People like when you volunteer for stuff like soup kitchens or helping out your library or whatever, and you meet other people who do volunteer work, and they're typically cool

[u/GeekBearingGifs → u/ChildrenofAeos]

And then, months later, you have the awkward conversation with your (soon-to-be-ex) girlfriend when she asks "why don't you do volunteer work anymore?"

[u/kanjibestwaifu → u/GeekBearingGifs]

"Because the trap worked."

[u/FreshPrintzofBadPres → u/ChildrenofAeos]

She really embraced the evil clown archetype with that tip lmao

[u/hazusu]

I mean, some of them are on dating apps. Met my fiancee there, she's cool and very mentally ill.

[u/invaderark12 → u/hazusu]

I need to figure out how to talk to people on dating apps. I can get matches easy but they never last beyond a message or two before i get ghosted.

[u/Vikinger93 → u/hazusu]

Same. Played the mentally ill lottery a bunch of times and found the one. Also got used to rejection doing it, which is handy in academia.

[u/TheProudBrit → u/hazusu]

Ditto. Got lucky on a dating website with my partner years ago, SO glad I've never had to bother with apps.

[u/Jstar300]

Hina came out with an all time banger in this conversation like holy shit.

sidenote: I think I might be a mentally ill man, so I'm not sure trying to date a mentally ill woman is a good idea.

[u/James-Avatar → u/Jstar300]

Modern day dating is not matching up your interests but seeing if your traumas can co-exist.

[u/Iffem]

for me it was... *checks notes* "RP on tumblr as a mechanic lady with massive honkers"

... I don't think any advice I can give will be very useful.

[u/dope_danny]

Your local Games Workshop playing Eldar or Soulblight Gravelords.

[u/PR0MAN1]

What sucks is like... being in the super middle ground of mental illness. Mentally ill enough to be a socially maladroit weirdo, but not mentally ill enough to enjoy the "mentally ill hobbies" like TCGs like Magic, Smash Bros, or Pokemon.

They aren't holding meetups for people REALLY into niche Sci-Fi books or Survivor.

[u/RageOfLeoEX]

so the #1 answer is....... talk.

[u/TheFallbleEagle → u/RageOfLeoEX]

Unironically yeah

[u/mission_nic → u/RageOfLeoEX]

My one weakness 😭

[u/Kipzz]

Oh man that part at the end is... I've met people unironically like that and they are even more vile than you think they are lmao

[u/bigbeltzsmallpantz]

Go to book clubs. I’m happily married, but the book club I go to is like 60% ladies.

[u/sloppyjen]

Im a shut in and ppl were still asking me out where i hung out for online hobbies. Even when I wasnt even looking. Shit sorta just happens.

[u/Enderexplorer4242]

What worked out for me, but also you’ll get vastly different mileage depending on where you are, but hanging out with furries irl has been pretty effective

[u/CorruptDropbear → u/Enderexplorer4242]

You are eternally cursed to be explaining your couples commissions as “this sheet is anthropomorphic, this sheet is humanoid but no human ears, are you ok with both styles” every time you want a picture though. 

[u/Auctoritate]

Not to lead with a cynical take but advice on how to socialize (dating too, but it starts even earlier at the socialization stage) varies a lot depending on your gender and the girls' suggestions I think really reflect that.

Potentially the most prevalent issue in modern dating when it comes to just going outside as your main method is that in many shared spaces it's a faux pas to try to approach someone unsolicited. Our modern culture of socialization puts an emphasis on privacy, and usually there's an assumption that people in public spaces are there for a specific reason (i.e. I'm sitting in a coffee shop to drink coffee, not get talked to- or I'm in a park to walk around, not get approached) even in many traditionally-social spaces.

So like, the 'just go outside' advice is REALLY biased towards applying to people with certain hobbies or social circles that serve as a pre-established foundation that enables the ability for 'just go outside' as a social activity. At that point the advice isn't even to go outside, it more extensively gets into 'Join structured social circles, do hobbies, go to events' which is a pretty narrow slice of your options. For many people, the end result is "Okay, I'm outside, nothing is happening." Like by itself, it's not even real advice.

And there are exceptions, but if you don't like clubbing or parties then half of the exceptions are gone lol.

Like, even as a man, if I imagine myself walking through the park and some random guy walks up to me and strikes up a conversation trying to properly introduce himself, I think I would rather just die than actually do that.

[u/midnight188]

As someone who dated a mentally ill girl from the internet....that shits a crapshoot.

The emotional abuse is not worth getting laid sometimes. Like don't do that.

[u/TheKidKaos]

Just have out with teenage me. You’ll find too many.

[u/Virsath]

Not to spoil the mood, but that is NOT the question the chatter asked.

[u/DriverFit5362 → u/Virsath]

It doesn't need to be.  It's a bit and bits can spring from anywhere. 

[u/vyxxer]

The greatest advice I have received and will forever give .

You wanna date? Go out and make friends. If you can't make and keep friends, you won't be able to make and keep girlfriends. Think of it as grinding your charisma stat if you need to.

Some of those people will either be women themselves or know a single woman. If you're a generally likable fella, oftentimes people will try to make those connections for you.

The second I focused on being a nice guy, smiling a lot and being sometimes funny my friend group exploded in size and I immediately got into a relationship.

[u/James-Avatar]

Going to a married man and his adopted gremlins for dating advice is certainly a choice.