r/SipsTea • • Jul 22 '26

SMH Proof that all you need is money

Post image
33.2k Upvotes

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

10.4k

u/redthrull Jul 22 '26

3.9k

u/Inevitable-Regret411 Jul 22 '26

As someone who's read it, I assure you it's about as romantic as the Communist Manifesto. 

3.3k

u/Baraka_Bama Jul 22 '26

Did he seize her means of production?

2.2k

u/Otherwise_Refuse_493 Jul 22 '26

He seized her means of reproduction

368

u/Technical_Eye4039 Jul 22 '26

She’s good with the pythonnnn, must be a coder.

100

u/RooferDad Jul 22 '26

This is amazing, I've never seen a Scoochie Boochie reference in the wild before!

23

u/Howdy-get-here Jul 22 '26

I was thinking the same thing! Love that I just saw a Schoochie reference

3

u/ordietryin6 Jul 22 '26

Just wandered through the comments and found my people

4

u/Technical_Eye4039 Jul 23 '26

Welcome to the captain’s quarters.

4

u/ordietryin6 Jul 23 '26

Back that ass up, captain’s orders 🫡

5

u/CuriousCplUS Jul 23 '26

Some snacks for stamina

→ More replies (0)

3

u/xedwardedgex Jul 22 '26

This makes me infinitely happier today.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 23 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/firephreek Jul 23 '26

And I have discovered a thing and it is a gift. Thank you.

2

u/Next-Transportation3 Jul 23 '26

Scoochie? Skank + hoochie?

2

u/DottoreM Jul 23 '26

everyone calm down, everyone is getting their upvote.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/Hateinyoureyes Jul 22 '26

Her buttcheeks were warm, must be a fever

4

u/Pepperkelleher Jul 22 '26
  • but is an inconvenience,
  • no jeans fit
  • the seams split
  • my peen is as long
  • as a week
  • with no weekend

Soochie pure poetry

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/xpsycotikx Jul 22 '26

Best Rapper in the United States!

1

u/ellieminnowpee Jul 23 '26

but her character didn’t have an email address lolol

11

u/merci_ann Jul 22 '26

Absolutely legendary comment

2

u/barcelleebf Jul 22 '26

Nice double act.

2

u/ImaginaryTrick6182 Jul 22 '26

Thanks for retelling the joke but worse.

1

u/AlwaysFinnishInsider Jul 22 '26

It's a reference to a Scoochie Boochie song

1

u/rogerstandingby Jul 22 '26

I thought it was a tampon

1

u/Oldfolksboogie Jul 22 '26

Connor McGregor has entered the chat...

1

u/Fantastic-Put9615 Jul 22 '26

You were supposed to say Spoiler Alert

1

u/franoetico Jul 22 '26

shit's hilarious to imagine.

1

u/TwoPlyDreams Jul 22 '26

Pretty sure he seize everything. But lube prevented any actual seizing.

1

u/NietJij Jul 22 '26

Her moans of reproduction?

1

u/Usual-Caregiver5589 Jul 22 '26

I thought we decided "grabbing her by the pussy" was not okay, even if it is just locker room talk.

1

u/BidEquivalent6169 Jul 22 '26

Yeah, that was the joke

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/MuchachoMongo Jul 22 '26

So he grabbed her by the what now?

1

u/BrokenParachutes Jul 22 '26

Yes that was indeed the joke, thanks for clarifying for everyone.

1

u/OkLack5468 Jul 22 '26

He seized her meats of production

1

u/Putrid-Buy2953 Jul 23 '26

Did he nationalize her assets?

1

u/WakeoftheStorm Jul 23 '26

How presidential

1

u/BG535 Jul 23 '26

He said, “thank you for your cervix, comrade.”

1

u/DrummerAutomatic9523 Jul 25 '26

I knew I'd need this meme someday

1

u/tbri001 Jul 28 '26

Sounds like he could run for president in 2028

0

u/blake_n_pancakes Jul 22 '26

Sounds like his dick's jurisdiction was her municipalititty.

2

u/Pepperkelleher Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26

qualititty over quantititty

68

u/TonyzTone Jul 22 '26

As someone who didn’t read it and only has a vague understanding of the plot, this seems like an accurate summary.

1

u/57Laxdad Jul 22 '26

50 shades or the manifesto, please be specific.

1

u/Present_Club_4401 Jul 23 '26

50 shades of manifesto and communist of Grey’s obviously

0

u/Acceptable-Ad-3560 Jul 24 '26

In all seriousness for those who don’t know, people actually into/experienced with bdsm/kink fucking hate that book. It is absolutely terrible and not at all how a relationship like that should healthily function, and has led to many common, incorrect conceptions of what bdsm is.

It was literally twilight fanfiction written by a sexually repressed middle aged woman with no real experience or understanding of kink iirc

28

u/Zestyclose_Volume127 Jul 22 '26

They let you, if you're rich. You can just grab them by their means of reproduction

2

u/JeffroDH Jul 24 '26

It’s crude but correct.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 23 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

28

u/cr1ter Jul 22 '26

50 shades of grey is another example of the bourgeoisie fucking the proletariat

46

u/spankmytits Jul 22 '26

Marx underestimated the rise of the middle section

5

u/ebinWaitee Jul 22 '26

Marx was also incredibly disappointed that the place where the working class took over was Russia of all the places. If you can even call it working class taking over. It was basically a couple thousand government officials pushing the Tsar aside in Moscow and appointing Lenin as a new Tsar but not calling him a Tsar

2

u/NecessaryPromise667 Jul 22 '26

That's what upsets me about people using it as an example of "failed communism". Not exactly a fair start

1

u/PremiumPricez Jul 23 '26

Although, no country has ever truly reached a classless, stateless society, as far as Marx was concerned, most economists dont think its even possible to do such a thing. Fair start or not.

1

u/NecessaryPromise667 Jul 24 '26

Yeah well economists aren't looking at things from a non capitalist entrenched perspective. A classless, stateless society is not possible for as long as capitalism remains the global hegemonic system. As long as resources have value beyond their usefulness to humanity, a classless society will never be possible.

1

u/newgoliath Jul 23 '26

so, the mass Soviet system that supported the party meant nothing?

1

u/ebinWaitee Jul 23 '26

Who said it meant nothing? What I mean is that the actual revolution was a palace revolution by a handful of people. Just like when the Soviet Union fell the people who overtook were already government officials.

It's not like anyone asked the average Russian whether they want to get rid of the Tsar or not (not that they would've likely opposed, that's not my point)

1

u/newgoliath Jul 23 '26

wow, so the history of mass strikes in the few industrial cities and the clashes with the Czar's police mean nothing?

the desertion by Russian soldiers in WWI were not important?

that's not the will of the people?

0

u/morrnie Jul 23 '26

Yep. Yep. Yep. That's why Peter Turchin's argument of 'Elite Overproduction' is legitimate.

1

u/pinelion Jul 22 '26

Goated comment lol

23

u/Voldemorts__Mom Jul 22 '26

Peak comment

1

u/Pablo_el_Diablo88 Jul 22 '26

Karl Marx Peak, modern Tajikistan.

3

u/Personal-Thought9453 Jul 22 '26

A Donald Trump quote in economic disguise.

2

u/Practical-Toe-6425 Jul 22 '26

Absolute filth!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jul 22 '26

Accounts must be at least 5 days old with >20 karma to comment.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/TonySoProny Jul 22 '26

That's hot.

1

u/Vagabond734 Jul 22 '26

Take my upvote

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/SnooMaps2155 Jul 22 '26

he seized her BY the means of production

when you wear a red star, they let you do it

1

u/laserdiods Jul 22 '26

I don’t often get places to use the 50 shades of grey generator but here goes: www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com

“ Within no time, I could feel the shitty love mayonnaise weeping from my puckered brown eye and all over my open-faced ham sandwich. With his stilton spear fucking deep into my chamber of squelch, the sensation of his spam javelin smashing my cervix made me quake like an epileptic at a Pink Floyd concert. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's purple cabbage looking like a ripped out fireplace, and I was no different! It was bliss having his love lollipop slid inside me again; stuffing my mound of love pudding with an antique doorknob just didn't get my fuck trench spraying like it used to. The mixture of colon cobra and love mayonnaise in my brown eye created the delicious rectal stew that he was so fond of.”

Why does this exist? Because Lorem Ipsum can be boring

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Floor55 Jul 22 '26

Wow you guys look very similar

1

u/Inquisitive_idiot Jul 22 '26

Screw you pal you made me spit out my breakfast 😑

😂🤣

1

u/Wubbalubbadubbitydo Jul 22 '26

No just her tampon

1

u/RomanticLurker Jul 22 '26

He seized her tampon at least

1

u/sviridoot Jul 23 '26

Unite the proletariat and chill?

1

u/morrnie Jul 23 '26

I think he mostly siezed and desisted.

1

u/draxxorxt Jul 23 '26

He seized her by her means of production.

1

u/Til-We-Are-All-Free Jul 23 '26

Not unless she was a factory owner

0

u/Slight-Narwhal-2953 Jul 22 '26

No, he seized her BY her means of production a'la DT

119

u/EriciiVI Jul 22 '26

So you're saying it's romantic?!

66

u/Electronic_Still2000 Jul 22 '26

Reading either one makes my face red

43

u/Emotional-Lie595 Jul 22 '26

And my dick hard

107

u/Evening_Sample_9365 Jul 22 '26

"Oh no, step-proletariat, what are you doing?"

21

u/Upbeat-Peanut2294 Jul 22 '26

Man, this cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/EriciiVI Jul 22 '26

I.. ... am reading a brand new sentence I've never seen before! Our sentence. Look at its eyes, so full of life.

1

u/Wise-Ad-4940 Jul 22 '26

Great... you made me spit coffee all over my laptop. 😂

1

u/Wasabilikum Jul 22 '26

“I am stuck”

“… stuck selling my labor force to the bourgeoisie.”

0

u/leMonkey_2040 Jul 22 '26

Porn has rotten a lot of minds, the step-bro shit wasnt a thing 10 years ago

10

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/BootFlop Jul 22 '26

Purple even

0

u/Hawsyboi Jul 22 '26

It’s about to pop!

2

u/PositiveEndolphins Jul 22 '26

makes OUR dick hard, commrade

2

u/SmoothSign2122 Jul 22 '26

And my axe…sharp

1

u/penguindreams Jul 22 '26

Say it louder.

1

u/UCantUnfryThings Jul 22 '26

And my axe!...?

32

u/ecclectic_collector Jul 22 '26

class solidarity isn’t romantic?

3

u/VariousProfit3230 Jul 22 '26

So, what you’re saying is my pickup line of “There is a spectre haunting my pants” will work outside of Halloween?

9

u/yrar3 Jul 22 '26

All that is solid melts into air ❤️

1

u/Zambonisaurus Jul 22 '26

You have nothing to lose but your chains (and whips)

2

u/EFTucker Jul 22 '26

As someone who is currently reading the second one right after finishing the first…it’s actually not bad at all. In Christian’s own words, it’s quite vanilla compared to other contributions to the genre.

As for romantic stuff, it honestly is kind of romantic in a surprisingly honest way. He’s a clearly scarred individual who found his peace in BDSM. He is upfront with everything, never lies except by omission of his love for Anastasia, and supports her drive for becoming a successful individual.
Right from the start and through and through he is honest and good. He’s just into kinky stuff.

The only time it’s weird is the belting scene and Anastasia literally asked for that. He also was super pressing about her using safe words and being clear about limitations. Yes she is inexperienced but he laid it out plainly in front of her that there is never a point in time where she can’t stop everything.

If you want to read something actually creepy in the genre, read Haunting Adeline or more on the BookTok side of things you could read the Lights Out series. Both very good additions but so very much more screwed up. Especially Haunting Adeline, that one is not ok. A very good book with horrifying contents

2

u/Sandrockwing04 Jul 22 '26

Was about to be real upset with your slander until I realized I misread, I thought you wrote Count of Monte Cristo.

1

u/uconnboston Jul 22 '26

That was Alexandre Dumas, he’s been dead for quite some time, no need to be mad at him 😉

1

u/Mortwight Jul 22 '26

some woman at work said it was the best porn book ever, guaranteed to get you horny. i found it tedious

1

u/RakeChapman13 Jul 22 '26

Dated a chick who had the book on her shelf and when I saw that I got excited because im into BDSM but she ended up being the most vanilla chick ever. She said you don’t have to be into BDSm to be interested in fictional stories like that. We call consume fiction whether it’s novels/films/ tv about things we don’t do or wouldn’t want to do, about people we necessarily wouldn’t want to be like or with for the sake of entertainment. There’s a reason that series did so well, it wasn’t just kinky women, it was curious vanilla women as well.

1

u/Mortwight Jul 22 '26

Its such an awful book

1

u/Faeries-Dust Jul 22 '26

This analogy is brilliant and not getting enough credit where it's due.

The Communist Manifesto, for those of us who have read it - or taken a college Econ/philosophy/history course, which discusses its allure and the fact a tiny book of like...40 pgs convinced a global population that could read that THIS IS THE WAY.

It's a very seductive little book - with no real ending - like FSOG. Reader beware.

1

u/bakatenchu Jul 22 '26

aka trump's manifesto

1

u/DevineBossLady Jul 22 '26

I am halfway trough it, and all I keep thinking is what kind of psycho stalker control-freak of an unhealthy relationship is this shit? Everyone fucking needs therapy, and loads of it.

1

u/FoghornLeghorns Jul 22 '26

Have you read the Big Beat Manifesto lately?

1

u/CrissCrossAppleSos Jul 22 '26

Compared to Kapital and stuff, the Manifesto is kinda romantic. “A specter is haunting Europe” is a cool way to start a political text

1

u/carymb Jul 22 '26

"You aren't familiar with my game -- want something else to regret, babe?"

https://giphy.com/gifs/1isbvxOadFAbJr6vYV

1

u/slaicon Jul 22 '26

As someone who's read the communist manifesto it is unironically very romantic

1

u/KassellTheArgonian Jul 22 '26

It took Gilbert gotfried reading it to make it sexy

1

u/phalluss Jul 22 '26

Pfft, speak for yourself. I've got Karl shaped Marx all over my heart

1

u/Long_Membership1401 Jul 22 '26

Would it be close to a romance yaoi between stalin and adolf?

1

u/MaintenanceInternal Jul 22 '26

Did you know it was originally twilight fan fiction.

I shit thee not

1

u/Cute_Pay_1423 Jul 22 '26

So it’s the most romantic book ever?

1

u/LucifersAdv0cate Jul 22 '26

What do you mean it's a literary masterpiece. My girlfriend likes to read it alone so she can fully absorbed such an intellectually challenging creative magnum opus.

“He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez.”

1

u/Select_Order_1478 Jul 22 '26

can someone who read the Communist Manifesto chime in?

1

u/FilthyCasual2k17 Jul 22 '26

As someone who read both. That's insulting to the communist manifesto. It's more romantic.

1

u/missmiracles7610 Jul 22 '26

The communist manifesto has better sentence structure. 5SOG is a book for adults that don't know much about sex and want to feel naughty

1

u/thriveth Jul 22 '26

The communist manifesto can make me pretty steamy

1

u/Chellbelle23 Jul 22 '26

If anyone wants a pretty funny summary of it, I recommend this:

https://jennytrout.com/?p=3208

1

u/mostreliablesource Jul 22 '26

this made me L O L

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '26

He really gave her the Ol’ Historical Materialism.

1

u/bigSTUdazz Jul 22 '26

....or as red as?

1

u/Odinfrost137 Jul 22 '26

Well, as was said in KrimsonRogue's "The Book Was Better" review of 50 Shades:
Nothing makes women hotter (turns them on) than legal paperwork.

1

u/radams713 Jul 22 '26

The most romantic thing a partner could do is seize the means of production.

1

u/SubstantialGate969 Jul 22 '26

And then I pimp slapped that ho and she wanted it even mo.. or something like that

1

u/Old_Web8071 Jul 23 '26

I didn't read the book but the movie food that description. I played Mahjongg on my phone during most of the "sex scenes". Whoever implied that Dakota Johnson was hot was wrong. I'd step over her male body to go jackoff in the corner of the room.

1

u/Mchnso Jul 23 '26

The comunist manifesto It Is very romantic

1

u/Diligent_Today_3165 Jul 23 '26

Mas ca puta de comparação, deves comer merda ao pequeno almoço...

1

u/Sea_Scale_4538 Jul 23 '26

So its one of the most romantic pieces of media ever written?

1

u/Aggravating-Exit-660 Jul 23 '26

you actually read 50 shades of grey

1

u/COVID19Blues Jul 23 '26

To be fair, that talks about fucking rich people too.

1

u/No_Presentation_1443 Jul 24 '26

I have the feeling you havent read neither

1

u/KENBONEISCOOL444 Jul 24 '26

Isn't he like super manipulative and abusive? (Never read the book or watched the movie)

1

u/Woodlog82 Jul 25 '26

It's vain and shitty, indeed.

1

u/Markus4781 Jul 26 '26

And yet super popular somehow.

1

u/notmadhav Jul 22 '26

are you saying revolutionary romanticism?

0

u/RakeChapman13 Jul 22 '26

Me and my girlfiend finally watched the series and she read the novels, it’s a lot more romantic than we thought it would be. And not nearly as edgy as we expected it would be. It’s weird about how some people talk about it honestly, it made us expect something else. She heard all these feminists demonizing it.

0

u/Iceicebaby21 Jul 22 '26

Maybe to you but middle aged white suburban housewifes ate that up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

-1

u/muscularsharpie Jul 22 '26

Sorry for a book review, but I thoroughly enjoyed the book. The movie, eh, different species altogether.

The author had a really complex focus, but the writing was forced and bland. It's like I wished someone else wrote it, but with the same idea in mind.

The primal intent (no pun intended) is fascinating. Despair by Vladimir Nabokov is really similar, and James' adjacency to the feel of that novel is pretty rad.

But I think 50 Shades of Gray gets misunderstood for just being titillating, when it is much more thorough in pursuing clusters of different psychological.. stuff.

James knew what she was doing, but just not my style of writing.

→ More replies (2)