Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/Some-Tear3499]

My late wife, (my third wife and I was her third husband )had some discussions about our 15 yrs together. She was close to or already in hospice care at home. Stage 4 breast cancer. We knew what was coming. We talked about the ‘gifts’ we had given each other. She told me that I gave her freedom. Freedom?

She said when I wanted to build a Faire Garden in the front yard, you said go ahead. When I wanted to go back to school at age 50, you said yes, When I wanted to build The Tea House in the back yard, you said yes. The Faire Garden could be seen from the street, people,from the neighborhood could see it, and the first yr they came and visited it. The Tea House is a 12 x14 feet structure, 16 feet high. She designed it, she built it almost completely by herself. I was grunt labor, for hauling materials, and buying her tools for birthdays and holidays. It took 3 yrs to complete it. She went back to school to get a 2 yr. Technical Degree in Engineering. That enabled her to really advance in her job. Suddenly she was making almost the same money I was making after almost 18 yrs on a now union job. She said I gave her the freedom to pursue her Spiritual expression, with friends and with groups, she became a Pagan. She told me that was the best thing I gave her. The freedom to do what she wanted to do,,what she wanted to pursue. If she wanted to dress up for the Renn Fair, she said I told her to do it! Be want ever you want to be!

She said no one else in her life before me let her do what SHE wanted to do.

She has been gone 22 months now. Forever 55.

[u/SnooCauliflowers9874 → u/Some-Tear3499]

What a lovely story. It made me tear up a little. It’s wonderful that you found each other.

You have had the kind of partnership that most people dream of…

[u/Some-Tear3499 → u/SnooCauliflowers9874]

She granted me the same freedom as well.