Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang]

He sacrificed spending time with his family to support his family financially.

She sacrificed supporting her family financially to spend time with her family.

Both sacrificed something, and both provided for their family.

One apparently resents the deal and values a missed opportunity at a career more than spending time with the family they chose to have and also having a partner willing to sacrifice time with their family to make it all possible financially.

Family is everything. Work is a means to that end.

[u/Separate-Taste3513 → u/HaYuFlyDisTang]

So, he didn't get time with his family after work? He didn't make time for his family on the weekends? No, he didn't sacrifice time with his family in a manner equivalent to "postponing" continued education indefinitely.

Work is a necessity. Money is a necessity. Someone will have to work to support a family. That's an inescapable truth.

The problem is that he made no effort to ensure that she was able to pursue her own personal fulfillment, which he obviously derived from his career.

When you make one person sacrifice personal fulfillment for the sake of the family without ever extending any effort to help them pursue it while simultaneously benefiting from that sacrifice by pursuing your own goals, you don't get to claim you lost time with them as a sacrifice.

[u/01zorro1 → u/Separate-Taste3513]

i would rather postpone my education indefinitely than to work a fisical job while my whole family depends on only my money to survive, you cant imagine the ammount of stress and pain it can cause you, you cant be with your family, you talk with your boss, with your coworkers more than with your own children because you have to work 50+hours per week, its exausting and heartbreaking

[u/Separate-Taste3513 → u/01zorro1]

So is staying home so your spouse can work.

[u/01zorro1 → u/Separate-Taste3513]

yes, you get it, both sacrificed and both suffered, you do understand it!

[u/Separate-Taste3513 → u/01zorro1]

Except one gets to derive personal satisfaction, prestige, social status, and a variety of benefits from working while Mom is just doing her duty for her family.

Oh, and probably doing it wrong, somehow. The house isn't clean enough, or too clean. The meals aren't good enough. She's too controlling or permissive.

[u/confirmedshill123 → u/Separate-Taste3513]

Dude if I could drop my career entirely and stay home with my kid I would do so in an instant.

Just because I have a career doesn't mean I'm happy about it or wouldn't rather just be with my kid, but it's a sacrifice I have to make to make enough money to live.

Also this shit is fake as fuck.

[u/01zorro1 → u/Separate-Taste3513]

"Except one gets to derive personal satisfaction, prestige" what personal satisfaction? unless he is a workoholinc that doesnt love his family, i would rather be with my children and wife than with my asshole coworkers
and again, we go arround and arround, i listed a lot of points on why working is not the magic land of the fun in my first coment
is that hard for you to understand that both sides sacrificed, and both sides have it hard? really?

[u/gobby94 → u/01zorro1]

Don’t worry, this woman’s unhinged. Sleep well knowing she probably won’t.