Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/SpacePenguin227]

… real or not, and while it’s a shitty thing to say in front of someone, this totally happened to me in a sense. A little different tho since I’m also a guy

My ex would get extremely upset at any mention of me going somewhere else or schooling anywhere that wasn’t close to home because he “couldn’t follow” me when I would mentions things out of state that would be for at most maybe like two months of the summer. He graduated college before I did, and was supporting us which I was very grateful for.

But I gave up NASA internships (and others), out of state research opportunities at institutions like CalTech or MIT, and overseas studies because I loved him and felt like my love was more important than my career. So I always stayed in state doing what I could instead of crazy opportunities that I should’ve gone to instead.

Then he forced an open relationship on me (as in we had to have an open relationship or else it was over) after my graduation, and I tried to make it work even though I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. Refused all my asks and “compromises” which looking back for was just asking for basic respect. I knew I should’ve broken up with him the first time it was mentioned, but we had been together for over half a decade, and I thought he actually loved me.

Cue the breakup, and I entered the job market instead of continuing on to graduate school like I originally planned because I suddenly now had bills and shit to pay

Oh, he also convinced me to take the year off easy so I didn’t look for a job before that either because “he loved me so much and had seen how hard I had been working at school the past years”. I work an okay job (not bad at all, but also not what I wanted), but even my current boyfriend pointed out that he doesn’t feel like I was meant for my current job trajectory. I’m good at my job, but it’s not what I actually excel at, but I took it as I needed something. My resume was also less impressive than a lot of my peers who did do the opportunities I mentioned before; I was poorly prepared for going at it alone, and I heavily regret forgoing all those opportunities for a shit ex.