Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/977888]

Yeah man doing the laundry and cooking dinner is so much harder than being a project manager responsible for providing for five people.

[u/Muted_Quantity5786 → u/977888]

Doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping for, running errands for, managing appointments and schedules for 3 kids is a lot like being a project manager except you’re not getting paid. That goes for either men or women or whoever is the one doing all of it.

[u/977888 → u/Muted_Quantity5786]

It’s really not.

Basically every person who is single manages to do all of these things while working a full-time job. These are basic life functions.

Also hanging out with your kids is not work. And appointments happen what, once or twice a year? Extracurriculars once a week or so max? School handles them most of the time.

It amounts to like two or three of actual work per day, max. It’s the easiest life a non-rich person could possibly have.

It’s important work that provides value to the family, but it’s extremely easy. Many if not most working fathers would trade anything to be able to spend time home with the kids each day instead of working their life away.

[u/Muted_Quantity5786 → u/977888]

Have you ever done it? Appointments are absolutely
not once or twice a year. There are also extracurricular activities, meeting at school, some kids need extras like tutoring or speech therapy for example. Whether you think so or not, you’re devaluing actual labor. Now, if you’re like my mom was and spend all of your time getting plastic surgery and shopping at Bergdorfs and getting your hair and nails done while also employing 2 full time nannies and a housekeeper- that’s a different story altogether.

[u/977888 → u/Muted_Quantity5786]

I’ve done it, and also have a couple friends who got to do it for a bit. We all agree that it was the easiest and most stress-free portion of our lives. I can see it not being fun if you have nightmare children, but that’s about it.

The worst thing that could happen being home with kids were if they spilled or broke something or were being slightly annoying or defiant. The worst thing that happened at work was seeing someone be killed by a large machine, or getting screamed at by higher-ups or having another worker ruin weeks of my work by doing something wrong. Now in the white collar world it’s dealing with unrealistic expectations daily, getting hassled outside of work for things etc.

I’d give literally anything to go back.

That caricature of a mom you had is pretty wild though. Sounds like it sucked. I hope people aren’t assuming that’s what I think every SAHM lives like. That isn’t the case.

[u/Muted_Quantity5786 → u/977888]

I think that anyone who says that being a stay at home parent is stress free and easier than working is delusional. I’ll end it at that.

[u/977888 → u/Muted_Quantity5786]

You’re just extremely sheltered or never had a real job then. Or you have nightmare kids. I’ll end it at that.