Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/hiles_adam]

Honesty and toxicity aren’t mutually exclusive.

That might be how she feels, but she should have brought these feelings up to her partner not her child.

“Don’t throw your life away for a man like I did for your father”. The bolder bit is completely unnecessary to make the point and it literally just inserting your issues and trauma dumping them onto your kid.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

Again, she was just being honest about her feelings. If you cannot be honest about your family what's the point of a family.

[u/hiles_adam → u/Dddddd92]

She’s being honest about her feelings to the wrong person.

Telling your child that them being born and their father ruined a hypothetical version of her life is incredibly toxic, it solves nothing.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

Not at all. The child needs to know to make better choices.

[u/hiles_adam → u/Dddddd92]

And there is a way to tell your child to make better decisions than you did, without blaming your joint decisions solely on the father or telling the child they are the reason your life sucks.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

Hoe the hell is she only blaming the dad??? She is literally telling the child, pick better than what I picked!!!!

[u/hiles_adam → u/Dddddd92]

They literally included the exact quote

“Never give up your future for a man the way I did for your father”

It’s not “don’t give up your future for a man”, its not “follow your dreams not a man”

It’s I resent your father and you because I gave up a hypothetically better life.

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang → u/hiles_adam]

Not even a better life, just one where they work instead of their partner.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Personally id always prefer the side where i see my children as much as possible.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

Yeah and? She is exactly telling her daughter "don't pick a man over your dreams like I did, I still regret it".....

[u/hiles_adam → u/Dddddd92]

Well this is beyond pointless.

If you can’t see that it’s toxic to tell your teenage daughter you regret having her then I’m not going to waste my time. I hope if you have children you never put that on them.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

No i don't see that it's toxic.