Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/Dddddd92]

You might think it's toxic. I think she was just being honest.

[u/hiles_adam → u/Dddddd92]

Honesty and toxicity aren’t mutually exclusive.

That might be how she feels, but she should have brought these feelings up to her partner not her child.

“Don’t throw your life away for a man like I did for your father”. The bolder bit is completely unnecessary to make the point and it literally just inserting your issues and trauma dumping them onto your kid.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/hiles_adam]

Again, she was just being honest about her feelings. If you cannot be honest about your family what's the point of a family.

[u/Neat-Box-7761 → u/Dddddd92]

I’m sorry but being in a family/relationship does not mean you always tell the brutal truth. That’s complete BS.

[u/Material-Command-854 → u/Neat-Box-7761]

But I’ve been down the road you’re suggesting. The person in question always nitpicks your tone, your timing, your choice of words, your communication skills, anything to turn the criticism on the other person. There is no way to tell someone a truth they don’t want to hear.

[u/Neat-Box-7761 → u/Material-Command-854]

Yes there is, you have to be a good communicator. Telling the truth all the time is not the same thing as being a good communicator. I’ve been with my wife for 10+ years and we have an amazing relationship. I absolutely do not always tell her the brutal honest truth.

[u/Material-Command-854 → u/Neat-Box-7761]

Only if you can trust the other person to engage with you in good faith. In a romantic relationship it’s often different I suppose. In friendships or in the workplace, people have no incentive to hear you out if it means being uncomfortable.

[u/Neat-Box-7761 → u/Material-Command-854]

Well I hope if you are married or in a relationship with someone then you can trust they are acting in good faith. If you can’t then what the heck are you doing.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/Neat-Box-7761]

Oh OK, you play pretence for years?? With the people you are supposed to be honest and truthful with? The people who you are supposed to trust and confide in??

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang → u/Dddddd92]

Theres a way to say "i wonder what would have been possible had i pursued the career i could have had" without saying "you robbed me of my dreams of working and it was a mistake to spend time with my family instead of working"

[u/Dddddd92 → u/HaYuFlyDisTang]

Again, she is being honest with her daughter.

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang → u/Dddddd92]

Again, there's a better way to express that feeling than telling your child you resent them and their father

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang → u/[deleted]]

Im not disagreeing with that at all, and ive made that clear in every comment. You must be a troll.

[u/HaYuFlyDisTang → u/[deleted]]

Lmao what?

Stick to the topic of discussion and avoid these personal attacks please

[u/Dddddd92 → u/HaYuFlyDisTang]

Lmao says the person who cannot handle a different opinion. Move along