Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/977888]

Hot take but if she couldn’t handle doing laundry, cooking and taking care of her own kids, she’d never have made it as a nurse.

[u/dewag → u/977888]

It didn't sound like she couldn't handle the laundry, cooking, etc... it sounded like she wished she was doing something different with her life and that each one of those tasks was a daily reminder of that.

As someone who left a promising music career to help my aging family run 5 acres after my grandfather (the properties caretaker) passed away, I could see how she would feel that way. She seems to carry more regret than I do, but the sting is still there. Had my grandpa passed a few months later, I would have been touring in Japan.

Life has a way of mucking up some of the best laid plans, for better or worse. Some people will resent that.

[u/977888 → u/dewag]

I don’t really have as much of a problem with her internal resentment as I do with the way she voiced it. It’s kinda fucked to just drop a bomb on your partner that you’ve secretly resented them for 20 years and think they ruined your life because you both decided to have kids. Also saying that in front of the kids who now feel like they ruined your life as well.

It sucks that happened to you, and you’re right that life certainly has a way of throwing a wrench in the gears at the worst possible time, but I can’t imagine you acted that way to your aging family. It’s just a mean-spirited thing to do.

[u/dewag → u/977888]

Yea, I can agree with this take. And no I didn't treat them like that. They have all passed at this point, but I never blamed/resented them or my grandfather.

It wasn't the people that did it, it was the circumstances at the time. She could probably benefit from a similar outlook, I know the rest of her family would.

[u/Carbonatite → u/977888]

At least nurses get to clock out after their shifts are over. They get adult interaction and intellectual stimulation. Being a SAHM might not be as acutely stressful but it has its own toll, 24/7 mind numbing thankless drudgery is its own kind of hell.