Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/thesanguineocelot]

My mom's last words to me, on her deathbed, were that she never wanted me, I ruined her life, and that she gave up all her dreams because I existed. That her drinking and self-destructive behaviors all came from her resentment for what I did to her.

She really should have resented Dad, not me, but life is funny that way.

[u/grizzerybear → u/thesanguineocelot]

This is one of the reasons I chose not to have children. I was never good with small kids, and the time and cost of raising children is huge. People kept telling me it’s different when the children are your own. But what if it wasn’t? What if I couldn’t take it and left, or worse. In all likelihood, people said I would have shown up and do what needed to be done, probably true, but what if I resented the kid while doing what I needed to do, not because I wanted to. The risk of me hating myself, my life, or a child was too big. Once kids are older I love being the fun uncle, I just can’t do that other stuff.

[u/977888 → u/thesanguineocelot]

Man that is so fucked. I’m sorry.

[u/thesanguineocelot → u/977888]

Therapy helped, a lot. I was already a pretty fucked-up and abused teenager at that point, so it didn't do nearly as much damage as it should have, you know?

[u/ChiefMuppetWrangler → u/thesanguineocelot]

Why should she resent anyone for a decision she was an active participant in making?

[u/Hanseland → u/ChiefMuppetWrangler]

She probably wasn't a willing participant. She was baby trapped. But that baby didn't trap her, that man did

[u/CombinationRough8699 → u/Hanseland]

It's easier for a woman to escape an unwanted pregnancy than a man.

[u/nikolasz1173 → u/thesanguineocelot]

Women ☕️

[u/thesanguineocelot → u/nikolasz1173]

Absolutely not, no.

[u/Interesting_Novel997 → u/thesanguineocelot]

🫂