Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/Prune-These]

And his feelings don't count for anything? He didn't give up certain things to start a family? She's also saying to her children, "I gave up my dreams to become a mother". AND...if she had these dreams, why didn't she stop getting pregnant after one child? My late mother was a nurses assistant; my father passed away when I was 10. She worked as a nurse and still raised five kids, all of us graduated from college. She could have studied part -time if it meant that much to her and she could have gone to school once her youngest entered high school. If she was say 19 when she first got pregnant then she'd be in her late thirties which is not too old to learn a trade. If I were the husband, I'd use the od expression "Get off the cross, other people need the wood".

[u/Electronic-Smile-457 → u/Prune-These]

No, she's not. When you're old, not sure your age, you can look back with wonderings and what ifs-- and she's saying it out loud to tell her daughter not go this route. And doesn't his feelings count? Sounds like they've counted for a lot for years.

[u/Prune-These → u/Electronic-Smile-457]

I'll be 64 in a few months. Do I have regrets? YES! But I don't blame other people for the choices I made. Life is learning from your mistakes and making peace with them, not dwelling on them and certainly not telling the people you're supposed to love that your life with them was a mistake.

Ok, let's assume they had a son. How about this! He tells his son in front of his wife and daughters "Son, don't get trapped with a family at a young age. I could have dated all these other women, travelled to exotic places and club all night but instead I started a family. Enjoy your freedom while you can." Would that be out of line?

[u/Electronic-Smile-457 → u/Prune-These]

She doesn't like him, I don't think people are getting it? And we're reading his version of events. At your age (I'm older, too), you have surely seen women walk away from these types of marriages? Where a woman is just done and maybe (maybe?) he deserves her resentment. I want her side, too.

[u/Prune-These → u/Electronic-Smile-457]

If she hates him then she/they should get counseling. Either fix their marriage or end it amicably; if not for themselves, then for their children. Bickering and blaming each other, what does that do to the kids? "Is this what marriage looks like? Why would I want to get married?".

And maybe the daughter is making a mistake, maybe not. But if you did your job as a parent, then your adult kids will live and learn from their mistakes.