Regrets And Perspectives

[u/Timbucktwo1230]

[u/Dddddd92]

Having children and a family and sometimes even a partner means sacrificing somethings and making choices. The mother wants the daughter the choose better than she did. She is completely valid in her perspective

[u/tabbarrett → u/Dddddd92]

People also don’t realize if the husband didn’t have the support system the wife provided with her free labor, he wouldn’t have gotten so far in his career.
As for their conversation, sounds like she already told him how she feels, he just didn’t understand what the mom meant until after she said it to the daughter. He said he just heard complaints.
People are so busy trying to protect the dad’s feeling but forget it was the mom that sacrificed everything and now they want her to sacrifice her feelings because he’s not getting it.

Edit to add - stay at home parents do give free labor. Room and board is not a payment for being a stay at home person. Marriage is not employment.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/tabbarrett]

This!!! Also the dad apparently put the whole burden of childcare and home making on the mom. So "i never said no to nursing school" os just a cop out. He actually didn't say yes either@

[u/Wabbit65 → u/Dddddd92]

Maybe he didn't feel it was his to say yes or no. But she needed to be more direct about her feelings about this decades ago, and they both need to sit down and communicate, likely with a professional moderating.

[u/Dddddd92 → u/Wabbit65]

Ofcourse he doesn't. Because he was content with her bearing the whole burden of the children. Why would he change anything?

[u/Gaarakhan55 → u/Dddddd92]

People at like all he did was work and beared no effort to kids or home while not at work.

[u/CompassMetal → u/Dddddd92]

Raising children is a privilege and a pleasure. From what he said he wished he'd been able to spend that time with them. Work sucks. I mean, this is fake as hell, but come on

[u/Dddddd92 → u/CompassMetal]

Funny. I have heard from many male colleagues that they want to spend 2 more hours at work because home sucks with screaming kids.

[u/Carbonatite → u/CompassMetal]

Funny how often men say that to women while never actually choosing to be the SAHP themselves.

[u/Magnon → u/Carbonatite]

How often are men even offered that option? 1/50? Less? There's lots of men out there that could thrive being a SAHD but it's never once offered to them and they'd lose their girlfriend/wife if they brought it up.

[u/Everyday_goddess → u/Wabbit65]

That’s kind of negated by him saying he never said no. If that wasn’t how he thought of it he wouldn’t have said that.