r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 š« Mod āļø • 13d ago
FeministTeaš©š»āšš©šæāāļøš š„¾ Patriarchy Woes
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u/Honest-Cover9513 12d ago
Reminds me of when my kid brother was a baby. I was 12/13, and I developed early. Going out on my own or with female friends meant running the gamut of gross men. When I took my brother out in his pram they would still catcall, but they were much more restrained. This was in the 80s, btw.
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u/Exotic_Insurance2164 13d ago
Yes, it is so scary and disappointing.
Had an aggressive cat caller start following me home and he only stopped when I told him that I am married. He apologised to my husband who wasn't even there.
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u/jm123457 12d ago
Yes I bet that happened . I am not even doubting a cat caller but him stopping at your mention or a husband and apologizing never would .
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u/Exotic_Insurance2164 12d ago
Yes, he was Turkish, and presumably Muslim. He said, I didn't mean any disrespect to your husband, and then he walked away.Ā
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u/hornyhominids 11d ago
Well expect a lot more of that hun! Thats their culture, and you have to accept it. We have more Muslims coming to the west every year :)
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u/Ok-Highlight8715 12d ago
No this shit happens. Its less common in the west now but I had a guy talking to me at a restaurant bar (didnt even realize he was hitting on me, we were just making small talk) when my husband arrived and the guy apologized to my husband saying "sorry I didnt realize she was married." Like I wasnt even there...
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u/loving-lobotomy 11d ago
Iām a dude and Iāve literally seen this multiple times in my life. You have to accept as a man thereās a lot of shitty among us.
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u/Sad_Energy_ 12d ago
This is anecdotal, but the whole "no means no" is only for men. You need to treat a "no" as a "no", but (at least in my circle) "no" did not mean "no".
I was in a volleyball club with a womens team, so I went out partying during university quite a lot with a group of women, and the amount of times the said "no" and if they guy went away, they were annoyed he "didnt try one more time" "shame he wasnt abit more pushy" was frightningly high.
I AM NOT BLAMING WOMEN HERE! I am just giving context why "no doesnt necessarily mean no", might be how an 20y/o guy was conditioned if the above happened to him a couple of times.
We as parents need to prepare our kids "no=no", that job is on us, but not everyone has parents who care alot.
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u/throwaway3413418 12d ago edited 12d ago
Yep, I have experienced women specifically tell me that they wouldnāt want me to stop pursuing if they told me no, because that would prove that I really wanted them. This happened more when I was younger and with less educated women, but it still happened. And even today I find myself in conversations where it feels like a woman went out of her way to ensure we connected but then immediately pulled back to get me to try to show how hard Iāll work to reel her in. But I donāt do games like that. If a woman doesnāt put in equal effort very early on, I give up on that match. I recognize this is probably drastically reducing my opportunities, but I unfortunately just find it completely unnatural to push through when the vibe is like that. Itās also really important that a woman wants me in a selfish way, not for some sort of circumstantial or strategic reason, so women who act like they arenāt really into me kill my attraction. So itās not that Iām even enforcing boundaries or anything like that, I just literally cannot do it. I find it easy to talk to people when itās clear they want to be there, but Iām just utterly hopeless at interacting when itās got this weird adversarial nature to it. I imagine this makes me come across as boring to a lot of women, which just seems completely deranged to me.
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u/BitterWord4 9d ago
Its games. Well adjusted adult men dont have time for that bs. If you start off the relationship by lieing to test interest, its born in toxicity.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit 12d ago
yea i know some women want a guy to try more than once but I'm not interesting in dating a silly girl who plays games
i will ask you out one time if you say no that's fine no problem but there won't be another ask
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u/KnightLakega 12d ago
No blame the woman for that.. It's an asinine mentality, and why men have stopped trying, and you see a slew of woman now complaining 'where ahve all the good men gone!?"
Stop playing stupid games, and you'll stop winning stupid prizes.
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u/Sad_Energy_ 10d ago
Women arent a hive mind.
You need to treat a no as a no.
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u/EarnestInnkeeper 10d ago
Thatās 100% true but human tend to follow the patterns that give them rewards. When you see a group of people consistently exhibiting a specific behaviorā¦ there probably is a reward system that favors it.
Itās not YOUR responsibility just because youāre a woman. And you deserve for your no to mean just that. Itās just worth noting men not treating no as a no isnāt a fully male problem. If it wasnāt rewarded, it probably wouldnāt exist.
Some men treat the other man with more respect because theyāve learned the pattern that if you go after another manās woman there are consequences. While going after a woman who just says no is sometimes rewarded.
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u/Dry-Dependent6018 11d ago
That's a situation for the women to learn actions have consequences not for the men to start pushing in hopes they get a crumb. I say this as a woman. Let them grow up. It's disappointing but that's life.Ā
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u/Platinum5788 12d ago
I agree. I don't know why people decide to interpret things in a way that maximizes how angry it will make them. Things are more complicated than OP claims.
Also, when a woman says she has a boyfriend or husband, there's also a possibility that some guy is going to start throwing punches at you. I've definitely been in situations where I was politely talking to a woman because I was interested in her, and a guy comes up talking and acting like he's about to punch my face for talking to her.
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u/Ok-Highlight8715 12d ago edited 12d ago
When I complain about this issue, I really dont care about a guy "being a little pushy" when rejected. The problem is that theres a difference between being an asshole and trying to win a girl over with charm, being funny, having fun, etc.
I've never been mad at a guy for playfully trying to convince me to go out with him, even if Im direct enough to mean no when I say it. But those are rare compared to the way men get aggressive (physically too), or try to manipulate their way to a yes. Or the ones who, when told firmly after a few times do it just to harass and humiliate me.
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u/Horror-Parsley-9027 12d ago
Just follow Rule 1 and 2 and/or be psychic.
Idk, maybe I am just too much of a coward, because i have never considered not fleeing immediately but I guess it doesn't apply to me anyway as I get summarily rejected as even a simple conversation partner for everyone, so its not even a women thing, just a "this guy is too awkward to even socialize with" thing
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u/Big_Psychology_3 9d ago
Right Einstein, but only you decided which man is creepily trying too much versus which man is pleasantly trying hard. The man cannot read your mind.
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u/StupidHobbitJoufflu 11d ago
well, just throwing that out there, but sentences like "didnt try one more time" "shame he wasnt abit more pushy" are huge red flags, no def means no for everyone except toxic dangerous people, this also includes some women.
when No means No is not the standard, everyone has to lose. Women way more on average, for sure. but toxic shit is toxic for everyone.
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u/Happy-Viper 10d ago
Facts.
Like, the reality is, this stuff didnāt come from nowhere. If every attempt after an initial no always failed, no guy would learn to be pushy.
Literally just last week, I was drinking with a girl, who told me when she was on a girls holiday, some man catcalled her with something like āHey, sexy, why donāt we have some fun?ā and, before I could get in there with a āwhat a creep, it must be awful to be catcalledā, she told me she decided āfuck itā and slept with him, and that guy will now catcall every girl walking home alone forevermore.
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u/LouisVonHagen 9d ago
Sometimes no is just a shit test and now that men take it seriously, I keep hearing women on tik tok saying "well, just try a little harder, prove to me you think I'm worth it"
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u/Independent-Story883 13d ago
Very true!
Although to be fair, sometimes āI have a boyfriend or even I have a husband and a ring onā donāt work
Only his voice mattersš¤£
I say just have fun with it. Make it work for you.
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u/PomPomMom93 12d ago
Yeah, definitely buy some costume jewelry and wear it like a ring set.
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u/Independent-Story883 12d ago
I actually do this when I solo travel as a woman . šÆ
It works to keep men at bay on the international sceneš¤£They think that youāre not alone. They think that your husband is in the bathroom or waiting for you somewhere, back at the hotel room.
I do recommend this as a travel tip for women who liked to travel solo and be unbothered
It may not work so much in the US. But it definitely works internationally.
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u/Partyatmyplace13 13d ago
To be even fairer, men get hit on more when they have a wedding band. What's that say about "respect"?
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u/loving-lobotomy 11d ago
Iām not saying that people like this donāt exist, but itās far from the majority. As someone who has used a wedding band to keep people away when I was not interested in dating and working on getting my own life together (a man)
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u/TaxRepresentative4B 11d ago
Hit on? Or maybe women feel safer around married men and men mistake friendliness for flirting?
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u/Particular_Fan_3645 13d ago
I mean also there's the fact that "I have a boyfriend" precludes the follow up question of "why". No is a complete sentence but sometimes you really want to know why...
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u/No-Cat3606 12d ago
People shouldn't have to explain why they don't want to interact with someone.
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u/MadDaddyDrivesaUFO 11d ago
I think my wedding ring actually attracts people with a milf fetish. I couldn't wear mine for a few years because it didn't fit anymore and I was too lazy to mess with resizing but now it's back and I'm getting hit on more than ever. It's like not wearing it gave me an invisibility cloak or something
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u/lancelot2112 13d ago
It's definitely someone who only knows the language of power dynamic and not the subtleties of flirting as equals.
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u/iffyfell_ 13d ago
"I have a boyfriend" gives him a way out without feeling personally rejected. "I have a girlfriend works" just as well.
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u/DistinctArmy4267 12d ago
>checks top selling womenās fantasy novels
>hmmmmm1
u/Zealousideal_Fun7274 12d ago
Yeah, and I'm on my way to sign up for the army because I love Call of Duty so much /s
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u/Small-Taro-8990 13d ago
Does "I have a girlfriend" not deter advances from women more than "no thanks"?
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u/Huntsman077 13d ago
No it actually usually makes it worse lol. Thereās a reason some dudes will wear wedding rings when trying to pick up women at a bar.
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u/SayRaySF 13d ago
Yeah Iāve told a chick no before and got called a faggot lmao. Like Iām starting to feel like this sub is literally just to rile people up on some gender war bs
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u/Meatbot-v20 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yeah, I've had a stripper literally yank my pants off and go to town. Not in a club or whatever, just back at her place (she said she needed a ride home). I was too stunned / afraid to be made fun of, so I just let her do it.
For context, I'm somewhere in the aro/ace/demi spectrum, so it's not something I would normally do.
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u/mamawawawa 13d ago
āI went back home with a stripper and for some reason she thought I wanted to have sex with herā are you being serious rn
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u/Meatbot-v20 12d ago
I mean, we were at a hospital and she needed a ride home. It wasn't exactly a sexy setting. I didn't even have my car, just called a cab. Probably before the uber days.
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u/MelissaMiranti 13d ago
It does.
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u/PraireGentleman 13d ago
It does not.
Source: bar security. Way more problems with women being told no than men. Ironically, the women who tell the men no donāt say no, they try to āsignā their way out of it so they have plausible deniability as to why heās still paying for their drinks. They also donāt come talk to any of the security. But if a guy is dealing with it, heās detaching and bolting away, usually to us. Itās a rare circumstance either way, but the men handled saying no way better
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u/Torelq 12d ago
Pretty sure "I have a gf" would stop a girl faster than "no" as well.
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u/International-Ad9987 12d ago
If anything, āI have a girlfriendā just makes most women more interested, which is even more damning if you think about it.
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u/MadDaddyDrivesaUFO 11d ago edited 11d ago
Idk if this is as common as people think it is
I'd say it's 50/50
I'd say the same for the original premise as well for that matter. I have been asked if I'd have an affair more since being married than if I'd cheat when I was just in a relationship before marriage (asked by men, I'm a married woman), a lot of men dgaf either or maybe have a fetish for it
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u/narco-sub-admiral know me, broken by my master 13d ago
True and terrible. As men the onus is on us - our behavior and the way we raise our sons.
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u/throw7661 13d ago edited 13d ago
This has nothing to do with respect for an invisible man. It has everything to do with the perception of a favorable outcome.
Example #1
Hey, you should come with us to the party on Saturday....
- Ummm, no thanks.
Are you sure? It's going to be lots of fun and Joe and Susan will be there. Plus I can pick can you up!
Example #2
Hey, you should come with us to the party on Saturday....
- I can't. My Mother's funeral is on Saturday
Example #2 doesn't get the follow-up because they already have plans and a funeral is a very serious thing that nobody would blow off for a party.
People, men and women, behave like this, all the time. It's not sexist. It's our attempt at persuasion. It shows that our offer is genuine and that we want you to participate.
Why do people do this? Because it works. I can't tell you how many times people will say yes to something the second or third time...but we all know they do. Because we see it all the time. It's also, in many situations, even considered polite.
Literally yesterday...I said
Do you want anything to drink?
Are you sure? We've got Dr. Pepper
- No thanks
- Uhh, yeah, actually, that sounds good
A polite 'no' leaves plenty of room for follow-up. And, indeed, plenty of people will give a no, and then a yes shortly after.
Saying 'I have a boyfriend' is the same as saying, 'No, I have my own coffee'. It has nothing to do with either the man or the coffee, it's just communicating something else entirely - 'I already have the thing you are offering'.
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u/lets_not_be_hasty 13d ago
But if they don't want you, then they won't want you, dude. I'd rather eat nothing than a moldy hotdog.
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u/Similar_Maize_1225 13d ago
A moldy hotdog is not an apt comparison for a human being. Nobody wants a moldy hotdog. That person probably has at least some success elsewhere. Are you the moldy hot dog when you're turned down?Ā
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u/Potential_Peace_5999 13d ago
After someone says no, thatās not an invitation to persuade them to give in. No is a complete sentence. You donāt need an explanation.
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u/Emotional-Low-6635 12d ago
Understood, so I will just make sure to be a complete bitch when I say no. I donāt have a boyfriend, wonāt make one up, and donāt need a boyfriend.Ā
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u/Ok_Food4591 11d ago
Funny how you say all that but if I asked you if you wanted a kick in the teeth you'd probably say "no", not "no, I already plan to kick in my teeth later today"
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u/CraftyPerformance272 13d ago
Patriarchy is when women are openly sexist against men and openly push hate against men and when someone points that out the women just blame men.
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u/Cobrakiller_12 13d ago
May be different nowadays.
When I was younger and in my dating days, a solid "No" ended the conversation right away for most of the guys I knew.
"I have a boyfriend" was taken as a challenge by a lot of my contemporaries.
There have always been men and women who don't take "no" for an answer. Doesn't matter if it is by you or an invisible/imaginary person. We are territorial apes who have not evolved emotionally as much as we have intellectually.
I'm sorry for everyone who has to deal with assholes out in the dating scene still.
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u/m3gb0t 13d ago
It's not just in the dating scene though. It's in an elevator and I've beenareied 15 years. It's when I'm out with my friends and can't get a drink at the bar without having to defend myself. It's not a dating problem, its a society problem.
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u/Marshmallow16 12d ago
Ā "I have a boyfriend" was taken as a challenge by a lot of my contemporaries.
There was a joke in my teens that went like 'if she's single you compete with the world, if she's got a boyfriend you only compete with one guy'
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u/GirlieChick7 13d ago
So many incels in this comment section
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u/DontUseThisUsername 12d ago
I haven't seen many incels, but it's a silly point of view.
No man stops out of respect for another unknown man.
In this case, it would be believing no could mean "I'm looking but I'm not impressed by you... yet" vs "I'm off the market so this isn't a challenge you should feel hurt by."
There are plenty who would see a boyfriend as a challenge too.
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u/Coldbeerplease 13d ago
So when a door to door saleswoman comes to my door and I tell her no, but she persists thatās a product of the patriarchy. When I tell her I already own what sheās selling.
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u/Trpepper 13d ago
1 they arenāt increasing the charge
There is no āI did t appreciate gun safetyā thereās only I didnāt care if someone got hurt. Otherwise known as third degree murder.
Thereās zero argument you could ever make that mitigates mishandling a firearm drunk over drunk driving.
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u/SilentTempestLord 13d ago
Because a lot of men aren't sure. There are women who say they want to be chased, and others who very much don't want to. There are women who are waiting for men to approach them, others very much want to do that part themselves. Dating is a nightmare because it's a free-for-all where no one explains the rules, to men, or women. In the past, there were strict social norms for courting a partner, and as restrictive as those may have been, at least there were rules dictating how you can and can't interact with the opposite sex. Not so today. "I have a boyfriend" is the only sentence who's meaning is absolute.
There's also the fact that our culture doesn't take a simple no for an answer on far more than just dating. Ever had someone say no to an invitation and then you press them a second or third time before they finally cave? That's part of the problem.
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u/icedmuffin 13d ago
I kinda found it funny how the only time I was told this was when I was being kind and holding open a door. And then I was a bit sad after when I realized that she genuinely thought that me being kind meant that I wanted to get in her pants.
Like I just genuinely was raised to be kind to my neighbor and doing so has taught me that people look at you with suspicion, distrust, and has your parents tell ya that itās going to get you killed someday or how youāre stupid for being so nice.
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u/ibangedthetwocoreys 13d ago
That makes no sense to me. If a girl has a boyfriend Iām not interested in her anymore. A girl with a boyfriend is not single as far as I am concerned.
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u/Xeno9116 13d ago
The point is that she shouldn't have to tell you her relationship status in order for her "no thanks" to be enough.
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u/LaconicDoggo 9d ago
Except the reality of dating cultures doesnāt allow for vague absolutes. Iāve had several female friends i lost touch with that admitted years later that they were attracted to me but gave me a singular no, so i didn't pursue further. They literally expressed regret because to them it was a soft no not a solid answer.
Cis women regularly canāt seem to make up their mind if they want people to try or people to immediately change course. And frankly its creating a toxic gender dynamic of overall relationships.Ā
I gave up on cis women a long ass time ago so now i only try to pick up girly friends coz im tired of only having bros in life. Trying to hold onto a cis woman as a friend is basically impossible and from my experience, is because they have zero reason to invest in any new relationship because they rarely have to look for companionship in any form as long as they agree to it.
When i meet new people its only the gays and dudes that are capable of following through with even the most bare minimum of social planning. Women flake on me 90% of the time (this is a real statistic, iāve kept track lately).
So if women want their vague and simplistic answers to be respected, they are gonna find out what that means overall: not having anyone interact with them due to not allowing organic conversation in exchange for expedient answers.
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u/pissdrinking101 13d ago
I tell I'ma side dude in training, they gotta tell me no directly. Idgaf bout some bitch ass dude.
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u/7thFleetTraveller 13d ago
Or maybe it just makes a difference knowing that someone actually is in a relationship and won't have any interest in you. While a simply "no" is often perceived as "maybe I'd have a chance if only she knew my true self". And this is something not exclusive to gender, it's also the way I thought when I was a young woman.
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u/thegingerbuddha 13d ago
Sometimes people say this as an assumption before anything has been said. Literally just asking you for a cigarette, mate š
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u/bigdipboy 13d ago
Billionaires are pitting women against men in order to keep us from uniting together and overthrowing them
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u/TheDarthJarJarI 13d ago
If you want the logic behind it, āI have a boyfriendā is an actual reason whilst just saying no leaves people thinking they can convince someone. No should still be no but thatās the logic behind it. Pretty sure saying I have a girlfriend would have the same reaction (to a normal person)
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u/VapidCat 12d ago
I just saw a video not long ago where a woman was complaining that men don't persue anymore, even after rejecting them. So... There's that.
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u/OrganizationDear2788 12d ago
This is usually doesn't stop men that hit on women. They assume it's a lie or they don't care.
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u/ZhekShrapnal 12d ago
Patriarchy is when someone wants something from you, and does notnimmediately give up, Perfect.
All those "your father wa vsery persistant" stories were actually horrible.
I love how on the nose all the memes about harassment are, where the unattractive guy is evil but the handsome one is dreamy.
Shiot your shot, but only if i am interested in you, and dont practice talking to women if you fail! That is patriarchy! Be smooth AF, but never learn how!
Just reject the men youndont want an move on, FFS, not every interaction you have is an affront to your dignity.
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u/Specific-Jaguar-9630 12d ago
It's not the invisible man, it's the principle of not being a home wrecker. Of course, not always. But it also means that you get respect too, since a relationship takes two consenting adults. So miss me with this BS and get a grip!
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u/Friendly-Comment-985 12d ago
So only respect if they are in a relationship?
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u/Specific-Jaguar-9630 12d ago
No. Obviously that's not what I said so stop twisting it. Or do I need to be in a relationship for you to give me some respect? Your comment is basically a double down on what I opposed with mine, so I don't see the gotcha.
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u/LairdPeon 12d ago
I guess.
It's more like "Oh man, I dont want to get my teeth stomped out" vs "Maybe I came in at the wrong angle"
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u/Particular-Dig-83 12d ago
Respectfully, they are two different things. One is saying something that moment isn't ok with you and the other is saying it's never gonna be (well as long as you're with your bf). Obviously it's a generalisation, but I'd say sex on a first date rarely ends in a relationship. Many many need to feel challenged to pursue and not immediately trapped.. or may just want sex (which of course is fine, if you also do).Ā Beyond that it's not so complex.Ā
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u/SmolPPIncorporated 12d ago
Feminism is when "men bad, grumble grumble"
Yall need to get a life. This place is pathetic.
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u/jinnagubby 12d ago
āI have a boyfriendā stopped a woman from receiving her wallet she had just dropped that I was trying to hand back to her.
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u/No_Effective_4481 12d ago
So the outcome is the same, but you are assuming men are incapable of listening to a woman on some sort of genetic level, and can only respond to threats? Get a life...
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u/Ok-Importance-2282 12d ago
I was at a bar 2 years ago. Iām a happily married man. Anyways, woman sits down next to me, chatting me up. Iām not interested and told her so. Told her Iām married and she kept insisting on talking and flirting with me then started to touch my thigh. So she disregarded the fact that I was married, didnāt care that I wasnāt interest. I had to get up and walk away to end the weird advances. But who gives a shit? Iām a man, therefore, no one cares. If I was a woman, the whole situation would be completely different.
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u/Gamejunky35 12d ago
I really dont see why a creep would stop when given either one of these answers. And how would you prove that it works?
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u/Away-Fan6770 12d ago
And at the same time as a man I've been hit on with my ring clearly visibleĀ and they've looked directly at it.Ā
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u/dragonlayer42069 12d ago
i never understood why people respect men over women, just recognize who did the actual work?
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u/GivMeTacos 12d ago
Tell the women that get mad when men stop chasing feom saying dumb crap like "he stopped trying after i turned him down". Since thats a real thing and its really annoying. The fact that the majority of men dont approach women anymore is evidence that men listen just fine. Yall can be confusing.
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u/LowHorror693 12d ago
Lmao, you do know that at bars women are more likely to go after men with wedding rings? Psychology is weird, itās not just because of āthe patriarchyā
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u/Thelastdoozicorn 12d ago
I've had to act like a butch straight boyfriend at clubs and bars so many times! It helps that I'm 6'2" and bearded too
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u/David_Briar 12d ago
This would be so compelling if there wasnāt the majority of women going āwhy didnāt he try harder after I said no?ā
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u/chief-w 12d ago
Y'all have no idea how baby women, both irl, and online influencers, have spent literal hours trying to convince me that no only means no in the right context... And the standards for that context invariably speak to an unspoken standard that he's unattractive.
And the reason for that standard is that women pressure each other to say no to everyone so they can have plausible deniability to not be slutty, but want the attractive guys to know better and take her to bed anyway.
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u/Cloned-C4lvin 11d ago
Matriarchy is supporting a woman who brutally killed her 3 children and blaming the husband.
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u/Effective_Arm_5832 11d ago
Because 'no' doesn't mean 'no' in quite a lot of cases. If her body languafe and behavior very much says yes and mouth says 'no', the no really just weeds out the undesirable unconfident men. This is not patriarchy but women's mating strategy.Ā
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u/Otherwise_Bug990 11d ago
Its not so much that, as much as women for some reason prefer to lead with "I have a boyfriend" rather than a polite "no".
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u/DesperateLime7933 11d ago
"No" is a challenge. "I have a boyfriend" is competition. "I have a girlfriend" is an invitation. "I'm married" is a kink. "I'm not interested" is an insult. "Please leave me alone" is a threat.
It doesn't really matter what you're saying if he's not interested in listening.
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u/Happy_McDerp 11d ago
If they were only interested in dating you why were they your friends to begin with. You were taken. Are you saying that you are so unbelievably good looking and wonderful that they were willing to act like your friend until you were single? This is either a sad group of men or youāre leaving details out.
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u/LeoNatan14 11d ago
What? No, wtf is wrong with people in this site?Ā
God, do I really need to follow right wing subreddit so I can be reminded that are dumber? Why the hell does this site keeps showing me the dumbest takes from left wings/progressives/feminist... etc?
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u/DramaticAd4991 11d ago
So true queen. This is why I make sure to aggressively pursue a woman past the first no regardless of what response I've been given.
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u/Ill_Swordfish9155 11d ago
I'm not defending any unrespectful action toward woman but in logical sens, a invisible man + a visible woman > a visible woman.
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u/totktonikak 11d ago
That's quite stupid. It's not some invisible man, it's the woman's commitment to the relationship she's in that stops another man.
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u/ExternalStranger397 11d ago
Pretty much every guy has been in a situation where their initial advances are rejected so they stop only to be told at a later time, āoh I totally would have gone home with you I just didnāt want to seem too easyā
Obviously the context, tone etc will play a massive role but women do enjoy to be chased during courting so I think this is in many ways an issue of their own making. When no only actually means no half the time what do you expect.
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u/Right-Writer-238 11d ago
Ladies, lemme tell you how fast they run when you say āI just had a baby.ā Itās magic.
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u/Pulselovve 10d ago
No, that's just a way to not make the other person feel unattractive. Saying "I'm not attracted to men" or "I'm lesbian" would work the same.
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u/Doobiius 10d ago
So whats it mean when I say thanks but I have a girlfriend. Is she respecting the other women more than me or is it just people realise loyalty is a pretty strong thing to overcome?
Yes I have had that happen and even followd up with well Why's she not here then, it can be our secret and my all time favourite. Oh wow okay, can I see? Then wow I'm so much hotter then her dont you think?
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u/Professional-Tap4678 10d ago
Girls suck anyways. Let's all just be gay for each other boys. Who needs em
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u/KireiCopenhagen 10d ago
Patriarchy is when a woman is mutilated at birth and stoned to death for having an opinion. What you are describing is interacting with people. When are we going to stop talking about all this AstroTurfed tension, conscript everyone between the ages of 18 and 30 and invade Saudi Arabia? That's the only way to actually eliminate true patriarchy.
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u/mostlybotshere 10d ago
This is laughable and has nothing to do with āpatriarchyā and everything to do with biology and social interactions. Humans meet and talk. People approach other people. Thatās called normal life.
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u/Efficient_Art_9064 9d ago
Is the "patriarchy" in the room with us? All the more, if some guy is a psychopath, then some invisible man definitely isn't stopping him. That is absolutely laughable; otherwise, every murder victim in history could have just said "my boyfriend is on the way!"
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u/FlipperBumperKickout 13d ago
Patriachy is when the ones in power would rather let countless children in the future be strangled, rather than admit we maybe should take postpartum psychosis seriously...
Also when people call a suicide attempt resulting in permanent paralysis as "getting away"...
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u/underwearfanatic 13d ago
I'll get down voted to hell for this, but women using the boyfriend line is overused and kinda rude.
Look lady, I just walked up to you and said hello. No need to yell that you have a boyfriend.
Not everyone is a creeper.
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u/FlemishFries 9d ago
The kicker is that it is entirely up to the women if she accepts it, and it us up to her if you are a creep or not, reality is that as a male you never know-how you will be perceived.
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u/GirlieChick7 13d ago
Maybe just leave people alone
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u/Mikimao 13d ago
Outside is never going to work like this, no matter how much you complain on the internet.
This works in every way, and all directions. The idea anyone in the world is gonna choose your comfort over their own is obnoxious and isn't going to be taken serious within the population of people outside.
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u/GirlieChick7 13d ago
Then be prepared for women to be rude to you because you make them uncomfortable.
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u/LaconicDoggo 9d ago
Good advise. Letās avoid all human interaction and not be polite and acknowledge peopleās existence. That will surely be good for societyā¦.
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u/sylbug 13d ago
If you are hearing this a lot then you are, in fact, a ācreeperā.
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u/Miserable_Pin2518 The Timeline Sucks 13d ago
Nothing is quite like enjoying hobbies with mostly men and being single for the first time in a while. Losing your friends and your hobbies as you come to realize that the respect previously shown to you in those spaces was in fact respect for the man they associated you with and not you yourself.