(tw: disordered eating?)

All throughout my childhood until now, 19, I can remember multiple points where some of my family consistently comment – in what I perceive to be a mocking/passive aggressive tone – about what I eat, how much I eat, or what I wear.

Saying I need to eat more, then when I do, that I'm a pig.

"You're really eating after lunch already?"

They've annoyed me before, but one recently struck a huge nerve, and now I'm starting to question whether it's me just overreacting or not.

I think it's important context to say I've dealt with eating disorders before.

Me and my partner got a takeaway, I got my usual, except with a full portion of noodles not half as well. I was really hungry and was looking forward to eating a lot of my favourite food.

My mum walks in and goes, 'God jesus I hope that's not all for you!'

I was shaking, then I started to cry, looking at my plate and couldn't even bear to start eating it. My partner comes to sit and I start sobbing. I eat after calming down but definitely with a mind full of guilt and shame.

I'll admit I was embarrassed. I felt I couldn't eat because I needed to almost prove to her I'd never eat this much. It killed my appetite but I did try to eat anyways.

It was a lot, but I could eat a decent bit. It was really no different to how much my partner usually eats or my siblings though. I feel bad for the parts I wasted and that's on me, I need to learn portion control.

However, I need to know if I'm overreacting and should stop taking stuff like this to heart. What do you think? And if so, how do I deal with it, I don't want to sob and have my mood killed every time, I just want to move on and not care.

I don't know how to get through to people that everything i go to eat fills me with anxiety.

I don't know how to explain how I don't want to hate myself, but that that doesn't stop me doing it.

Don't know how to make it clear that I can't just feel good about myself or take interest in the things I should enjoy just because I wish I was able to.

Don't know how to explain that the worst thing about each day is the moment I wake up faced with more of the same.

Don't know how to show people what it's like to spend all day finding ways just to pass time before I can go back to bed.

I'm not really living but I don't know how to start, when every new thing just becomes another excuse for my brain to beat me up.

Hi all,

I've been lurking in this sub for quite some time (semi-burner account). I've been reading stories on how those with similar problems struggle to get support from the NHS.

I've been experiencing severe OCD (including contamination type) symptoms, with at least 3 clinicians suggesting it could be my severe untreated ADHD (long waiting list for medication). Every day is absolute hell and my mind is constantly racing.

I am constantly stressing about contaminants, such as bacteria and the lot, and I can't slow my intrusive thoughts down. I get physical sensations that things are digging into my skin and I have resorted to using harsh chemicals to ensure my hands are clean. For some reason, I have associated the sensation of burning with cleanliness and my hands are often chemically burnt.

During heightened states of stress, I begin experiencing intrusive, horrible imagery/thoughts that make me often destroy personal posessions out of fear.

I went to a specialist OCD therapist, and it was clear that although I fully understood the concept of OCD and how my thoughts are irrational, I had no capacity to tackle them head on. ERP therapy (supposedly the best for this) was declined as it would only worsen things. She mentioned my issues were "extreme" and required immediate intervention, and that was about 5 months ago.

I've been to my GP about 4 times and all they could do was offer a mindfulness app called headspace for my phone. Only a referral to CMHT was made after my therapist sent a letter directly.

A family member also contacted 111 out of concern and after being lectured about how I should engage in support myself, they contacted me. I was worried about my aforementioned CMHT referral being declined, and they said "it probably will be declined" like that's meant to fucking help. After the usual mention of trying exercise (despite being functionally impaired for weeks) they said time had run out and nothing was done.

During the CMHT appointment, I was immediately discharged with a suggestion to try Paroxetine. I have tried 5-6 SSRI medications in the past 2 years and those with "sedation" as a commonly experienced side effect has completely tipped my life over. I specifically mentioned during my mental health review that most SSRIs have not been tolerated well, yet immediately discharge me recommending just that.

Right now, I am receiving no care or support, and I feel entirely ignored. I could take the risk and switch medications, but I feel as if this would be a death sentence - a change in medication when I'm already severely struggling.

I even complained to PALS but I haven't heard back in weeks.

Although this sounds counter-intuitive, I find that drinking caffiene often calms my nerves down slightly, although this is not a good substitute to real ADHD stimulant medication.

I hardly eat, do anything productive, and feel as if hope is running out. What can I do?

I suffer from anxiety, an eating disorder, depression, and ADHD. Over the years, I’ve tried many different types of medication, including SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, etc., without much success due to the overwhelming side effects. To be fair, the only ones that worked were benzodiazepines but I had to constantly increase the dose. And weirdly no withdrawal symptoms when I was stopping.

My psychiatrist now wants me to try a higher dose of buspirone (30 mg per day). In the past, I only took 5 mg per day, alongside other medications that I have since stopped.

I’ve read quite a few unpleasant experiences with buspirone online, and I’m particularly worried about side effects and what happens when you eventually stop taking it.

I stopped the 5 mg dose about a month and a half ago, at around the same time I stopped Zoloft. Some of the symptoms I was experiencing haven’t completely gone away yet — particularly fatigue, which actually feels worse at the moment. Because I stopped both medications around the same time, I obviously can’t be sure what is causing what.

Has anyone here taken buspirone at around 30 mg per day? What was your experience with side effects, and did you have any problems when you eventually stopped taking it?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, both positive and negative.

Hi everyone. I'm Rehnuma, a Psychotherapist and Counselling Psychologist in training at the University of Roehampton, researching what it's like to live with longstanding feelings of emptiness for my doctoral thesis.

I guess what drew me to this topic is hearing clients over the years talk about feeling empty - with everyone having such different experiences of this. It comes up fairly often in my practice - but there doesn't seem to be a lot of detailed research on what it's like to live with it. We have a lot of (mostly psychoanalytic) theory around why people feel empty, but not a lot of first-hand accounts of people talking about their experience of it - which seems unthinkable given that it's one of the DSM diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

My research will be one of the first attempts to highlight in detail people's actual lived experiences of emptiness, so we can inform training for mental health professionals and most importantly, think about what people who live with feelings of emptiness need to live fulfilling lives.

If you've experienced longstanding feelings of emptiness, I'd be interested to hear what that's been like for you over the years. You can take part as long as you are:

• Over 18
• Living in the UK
• You have had longstanding experiences of feeling empty - whatever that means to you.
• You're OK to talk in detail about your experiences of emptiness and how it affects you.

You do not need a diagnosis of any kind to take part.

Please contact me by DM with your email address, or email me on [choudhur1@roehampton.ac.uk](mailto:choudhur1@roehampton.ac.uk) expressing your interest and I'll be in touch to arrange the screening and online interview with you, and answer any questions you might have.

Thanks all, hope to hear from you soon.

Rehnuma Choudhury,
Psychotherapist and Trainee Counselling Psychologist

i’m 17, turning 18 in almost exactly a month. i’ve been desling with anxiety for years and it feels like its gotten to the point where it’s seeiously affecting my day to day life . i get a lot of the typical physical symptoms like racing heart/palpitations, nausea, shakiness and feeling breathless, sometimes i get so overwhelmed that i just freeze and can’t think properly at all.

also i have quite a lot of avoidance because of the anxiety, and it’s affecting college, social situations and things i genuienly need to do in general. there’s also a lot of constant worrying and low mood as a result of this :/

i’ve been involved with CAMHS since i was around 13 and did a few months of counselling, but honestly it was a really bad experience for me and i found it made things worse rather than actually helping me and i really don’t want to go through the exact same thing again

i also have a levels to get through soon and i genuinely cannot afford for my anxiety to fuck them up the way it did with my gcses.

i’m mainly looking for something that can give me some physical relief and make the anxiety more manageable, rather than expecting medication to magically fix everything. i’ve tried the typical breathing exercises and calming methods but they don’t work and i feek helpless

i’m planning to speak to my gp soon, but i’m not sure how to go about ir :/

Hey!

So I’ve been taking 100mg sertraline for nearly 2 years and I’ve just realised that I haven’t taken it in over a week. Weirdly, I feel totally fine and no different. Despite it being the week before my period which is normally awful for my mood…

Since my goal is to not be on sertraline at all, am I silly to consider just to carry on not taking it? Or are the withdrawal effects about to hit me full force any minute?

For a little more context/background…

I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year and I’m still going through titration, which is going quite well and experiencing minimal side effects of Delmosart. A lot of what was attributed to anxiety, turns out is my ADHD and the medication really helps with that.

I’ve been back and forth to the GP since they put me on sertraline because it’s never felt like it’s done anything. I actually went on Tuesday and they finally agreed to put me down to 50mg. Picked up the prescription and haven’t touched it. When I’ve gone back in my head, it’s been 7 days since I last took anything. I usually take it just before I go to sleep, so I think that’s why I keep forgetting/not thinking about it.

If anyone has experienced anything similar, I’d really appreciate hearing about it. Thank you so much to anyone who’s read this far!

I recently got a copy of my Care and Treatment Plan, as I’d never actually seen it since it was created in August 2025, and realised it’s now around two months past its review date.

What concerns me is that my mental health has changed significantly since the plan was written. CMHT are aware of these changes and this started around February/March where I had to leave domestic abuse, which understandably effected my mental health greatly. I’ve been experiencing things like flashbacks and hallucinations for quite a long time, alongside a significant deterioration in my mental health and risk - with risk always being a great concern to them and the psychiatrist was honest to me about that.

The CTP itself feels very much like a snapshot of where I was over a year ago, rather than where I am now. It acknowledges suicidal thoughts and some risk indicators, but there’s very little detail about what CMHT is actually doing to support me. I also feel like my needs have been somewhat downplayed because I can still function in areas such as university and employment but even in the areas I’ve already struggled ending in my taking time off or burning myself out then hitting crisis as i don’t realise how unwell i’m becoming myself.

I’m also at university and my university support team is currently trying to understand what support I have from CMHT so they can work out what additional support/adjustments I might need. I’ve just started uni again and have had some difficult things happen recently, so I need additional support on top of the fact I was already struggling significantly.

I asked for the CTP because I wanted to understand what my care actually looks like, but seeing it has left me wondering whether I effectively don’t have a current plan that reflects my need.

Is this normal? If your circumstances/mental health change significantly, should your CTP normally be updated rather than relying on an old one?

A few days ago, I attempted to end my life. I called the ambulance pretty soon afterwards, was taken to the hospital and remained unconscious for a couple of days. I only woke up yesterday, and they transferred me to a psychiatric hospital as a voluntary/informal patient.

I’m really struggling to process my feelings about this. I still don’t really know why I did it. I don’t feel like there’s anyone here I can talk to - there isn’t any structure here and the nurses don’t seem to care at all. I was supposed to see the psychiatrist yesterday but they didn’t end up coming or something? I was underneath the crisis team before and all the nurses and the psychiatrist were super proactive, and the people here just aren’t. I’ve been here less than 24 hours but I’m thinking of asking to leave soon because I don’t think it’s helping really.

I’m still thinking of other ways to die. I don’t know if I’d go through with them - but then I didn’t think I’d go through with it the last time, and then I did. So I can’t trust what I think I’d do.

Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else been in this situation and can share useful information? I feel really lost and confused and alone.

I was referred to Talking Therapies in November last year. I was assessed by a wellbeing practitioner in January this year, followed by an email from them to say they were looking at what to plan for my treatment and that she would be in touch soon.

So I waited. And waited. In March I contacted them to ask and again they said they’d be in touch when they decide.

Fast forward to June this year and I get concerned because they tell me a different story that it’s a year wait for anybody and they would not give any more info other than resending me my letter.

I have begun to worry as I now know from a close family member who is also under them and referred later has had a very different experience more frequent communication, calls, emails, etc.

Have they lost my referral or closed it? I haven’t been notified of anything. I’ve had nothing but very intermittent texts to say I am still open to the service, but something doesn’t seem right now and I’m getting worried something has gone wrong.

Is this normal? I’m at the point where I’m beginning to consider paying for therapy which I can’t really afford, but I don’t feel I can trust them to deliver it at this point.

​

I'm 16M and it's been around four months since my breakup. She was my first serious relationship and we were together for nearly two years. Seeing eachother nearly every day and being so involved with eachothers families. It ended abruptly and without clear reason when we were both stressed from GCSEs

Since the breakup, I've tried pretty much everything I can think of to move forward: gym, walking, improving my routine to stop the bedrotting, focusing on school, spending time with friends, meeting other girls, keeping busy, and trying to accept that it's over.

But honestly, I'm still nowhere near moved on.

We go to the same sixth form, so I still see her occasionally. I've started noticing that my mood almost depends on whether I see her. If she looks at me, talks to me, jokes with me or we have even a tiny interaction, I feel temporarily calmer and happier. Then afterwards I miss her even more. I spent months trying to get back with her, messaging her begging after each interaction.

It feels like my nervous system has learned to use seeing her as some kind of emotional regulation. I know that's probably not healthy, but I genuinely don't know how to stop it.

I can't go 2 minutes without her popping into my head. It's even worse on the nights I just get overwhelmed and that's when I start to SH and break down, having suicidal thoughts almost like I'm planning it in my mind.

I physically cannot get into another relationship, although l feel attracted to and speak to other girls I cannot get with anyone now.

I feel extremely lonely. I have friends and family, but I don't feel like anyone really understands me in the way she did. When the sadness hits, it can become overwhelming incredibly quickly.

I've tried getting professional help for anxiety and low mood, but ive been left waiting for a referral for over a month. My GP said i have obsessive, attachment and social anxieties.

I genuinely need advice from people who've been through something similar. How do I actually break this attachment when I've tried keeping busy, exercising, meeting other people and giving it time, but I still feel completely stuck?

What advice/info do you wish you knew when you started?

I'm going into this blind but I really want it to work so hopefully not too scary stories! Mainly for ADHD & just cracking on with life really.

F Early 30's in UK

I'm honestly at a loss for words as to how any sort of medical professional would think that CBT is a good choice for people with obsessive compulsive disorder

not only are you reinforcing the idea that "thoughts = behavior," which is extremely upsetting to those who deal with intrusive ego-dystonic thoughts, but you are also feeding into the ocd cycle of reassurance-checking, teaching patients to analyze and rationalize the intrusive thoughts

all in all, i feel like cbt traumatized me and made my ocd worse.

Couple of months off for severe burnout and mental health?

Hey guys im 26 year old guy.

Around 22 i started showing low level symptoms of OCD and constant anxiety due to the pandemic and for the first time in my life being completely isolated due to moving to a rural place with my parents but not a lot of family. During that time i became a hermit and became homeless had to sofa surf in my bro's cottage in the sticks.

I had zero friends, zero outlets as everything was shut.

Im not in a highly specialised role now in 2026 just a low level manufacturing role however ive been on and off SSRI'S since 2022 and last week my tablets which i was on completely stopped working - combined with a knee injury i sustained in football a month ago (potential cartlidge damage) ive been really unable to do any exercise and have had to reduce my hours to part time.

Anyway im now suffering severe anxiety and OCD and can barely sleep roughly averaging 4-5 maybe 6 hours if im lucky in the week and being on edge 24/7. Weekends i can rest more often getting 8 hours.

I want to know my options for time off, ive already had 22 days off sick due to Mental health and a little for my knee (mental health last november i broke down and got back on tablets)

Am i fine to take a month or two off to completely try and help myself better as i have therapy cbt and new tablets

And physio over the course of these next months?

I have roughly around 10k saved which ive worked so hard for over the last 3 years.

hi i am writing this as i did CAT therapy which ended in February with a follow up in April.

and ever since all i am hearing is we aren’t looking at therapy due to this consolidation period.

Everything I’m seeing is that its 6 months and should have gone from the last appointment, not the follow ip, so should have been up in August.

Either way it’s up this month.

Heres the issue, I’m currently trying to get my 117 aftercare plan implemented, and MH services are heavily pushing the “ it’s because you have got ADHD” as an answer to everything.

I have CPTSD due to horrific CA.

My question here is, how can i steer the narrative away from ADHD and get therapy included in the 117 aftercare? And how do i stop this “ consolidation period” from being dragged on and on as a way to avoid doing anything?

I lost my job 7 months ago after disability discrimination and bullying by my manager. After that life spiralled out of control. I wasn't able to find a new job with employment tribunal hanging over me. I claimed PIP towards the end when it was looking like I was going to be fired, and I was scored 0 points. Mandatory reconsideration also got 0 points. Now going to tribunal so two tribunals at the same time but they are taking months and months and just ghosting me.

I am up to my eyeballs in debt. I am going to be homeless. The council only changed my banding after two complaints and threats to go to the ombudsman was I finally given homelessness prevention duty. But my housing officer tells me to just apply for rented properties even with no guarantor, bad credit history and no money. Landlords are rude to me or outright ban me from applying even tho that's now against the law, it's humiliating telling my story over and over that yes I lost my job, I'm on benefits and about to be homeless. I few friends and I am estranged from my abusive family.

I feel like crying every day. I genuinely don't know what I'm living for. I was abused my family my entire life, bullied in almost every job I ever had, I have autism and fibromyalgia as well as depression and anxiety so it's extremely hard. I failed a care assessment at the local council because I was articulate and had "washing on the airer" when the social worker came for an assessment.

I feel like such a failure. I can't cope. I feel like I'm being crushed. I am having panic attacks and meltdowns every day. I don't want to be homeless. I don't know what I'm living for anymore. I can't get a job but I can't get PIP, I can't find anywhere to live. I've always wanted just a cat or a pet to live for but that's completely out of the equation now.

People keep telling me it will get better but in my experience it doesn't everything gets worse. I am now going to lose most of my possession even the little things I have fought for other the years. I have no faith life is going to improve, that I am going to find a stable home, job, someone who cares about me. I am in so much physical and emotional pain every day it reduces me to tears. I would rather just die now than become the disabled people who are forced to live in squalor in council estates getting sick and bitter.

Hello. Have some pretty weird cognitive symptoms like having a constant, and very stable "blank mind". General Apathy and Anhedonia, and a lack of any sort of ego or motivation, low libido, among many other things

The crux of the issue is that it doesn't really fit into any one diagnosis, and I am struggling to find a consultant that can deal with something like this. I still am not entirely sure that another medical causes can be crossed off, although I have had many blood tests etc... done already.

Thanks for any help!

I am in a bipolar depressive episode and having suicidal thoughts. I am on the list for a crisis house and might get a bed next week. I dont feel i can wait this long, i feel like i cannot keep myself safe anymore. It gets worse every hour. Should i go to a&e? Call 111? What options do i have?

Disclaimer - not in imminent risk of harm

Hello, the other day I posted the following:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/s/U2MFmvw4xF

Safe to say this is still ongoing, and I am struggling. Does anyone have any POSITIVE stories about their discharge from a Home Treatment Team after a suicidal or severe anxiety crisis?

I have GAD, health anxiety, ADHD and depression.

I have been on escitalopram for over 4 months and it hasn't benefitted me at all. I have been experiencing constant mental and physical anxiety, as well as obsession over my health and just feel so numb and tired all the time.

In the past I tried paroxetine and fluoxetine which didn't help. I also tried duloxetine which helped my anxiety but caused weight gain.

My doctor has now prescribed me venlafaxine, where I will take 37.5mg for 5 days and then 75 mg after that.

I know that this medication has side effects especially withdrawal and having gone through duloxetine withdrawal, I know how horrible it is.

However I am desperate as my anxiety is so bad and I feel so hopeless.

I am just so scared that this medication won't work and most importantly will give me really bad side effects which could harm me. I know some people have said that it causes increased heart rate etc. which really scares me especially as I have anxiety over my heart.

I just need some reassurance and support from people who have found that venlafaxine has helped their symptoms (both mental and physical) and has made life worth living.

What resources are there available to access?
I have depression, OCD and related dark thoughts, but I can’t access anything at the moment through the NHS

I’ve been on the waitlist for my local CHMT for about 7 weeks (but waiting for over 6 months because CAHMS refused to offer treatment as I was a few months away from my 18th) but the waitlist is indefinite and I’m struggling. I’ve try to speak to my GP but they insist they can’t offer anything but an emergency assessment at a hospital.

I spoke to the CHMT and they said to liaise with my CAHMS team for support although I’ve been discharged for 3 months and don’t have a CAHMS team, the GP refuses anything because I’m on CHMT waitlist and I was also rejected from talking therapies because of it?

Is there anything available left or do I just have to hope that I don’t do anything irreversible?
Thanks for reading

I was assessed and accepted by the CMHT in May, put on a waiting list and told I wouldn't be seen until January at the earliest. They said if things get worse to go back to my GP. I've really struggled over the summer so went to my GP who refused to offer me anything, said I need to be managed by specialist services and told me to go back to the CMHT. I explained that the CMHT won't see me until January and they specifically told me to go to the GP in the meantime, but the GP wasn't having any of it and claimed I'm too high risk for primary care due to my diagnosis (EUPD/BPD) and because I'm under secondary (despite not doing a risk assessment). My initial referral to the CMHT was March so I've been waiting 7 months already, and now I'm expected to wait another 3 months with no support. Is there anything I can try in the meantime? Would 111 be able to intervene or is my only option to wait it out and hope I don't deteriorate any further?