For context, I(33F) never grew up close to my mother's side of the family. Growing up all I remember is them just picking on my sister and I, making rude jokes on our behalf, making jokes that we would never amount to anything. My father always refused to go to family gatherings because of this and always stepped up when they would start, there would be fights between my parents because of this. He would not want us to go either but because those were all her siblings she wanted us to be present. And because he set a boundary of keeping distance, they ostracized him, BUT because they are my mothers siblings she would let them run over us when we would attend the family parties without him there(even herself as well unfortunately).

Because of this my sister and I developed awful people pleasing tendencies and don't know how to set boundaries cause we never saw or learned how to set healthy ones. We always end up over sharing as an anxiety response or freezing.

For example more recently, I had an aunt on my mother's side say in a rude and sarcastic tone "what would your dad say now that your mom has guy friends", my father passed away a few years ago. I found this hurtful but just froze.

We are having a family party in about a month and I will have to see this aunt there and my issue is that she hurls insults and I freeze but I want to learn how to not let her step over me. However, I've learned over the years that my issue is I either go from 0 to 100 in terms of either freezing and staying quiet or hurling the most hurtful insult that will shatter someone. I want to learn how to helpfully set the boundaries. Any help is appreciated. Thanks everyone!

ALSO (unfortunately not attending the event is not an option because it's focused around my mom and a big achievement she's had recently)

Apologies for any typos or anything that seemed unclear english is not my first language

I don't have social anxiety but, for whatever reason, when I want to approach someone I never know what to say.

It's easy if they are alone and have something I can use (ex: a shirt of a tv show), but when they have nothing I really don't know what to say.

It's worst when they're in groups, because they clearly don't need a distraction. Maybe if they are waiting alone for a friend and I approach they will be more open for that reason, but not with groups.

My only way to approach is saying hi and telling them that I'm bored and if I can join them, but I feel creepy due to the fact that I will find strange if someone will do that to my group

I am interested in these topics but I don't know exactly where to start. Can someone please help with some good introduction resources to get invested into?

i recently attended an academic event wherein there was a short panel discussion with some handpicked professors and alumni from different universities, and while they were speaking and answering questions, i noticed how well they promptly delivered their answers in such an articulate manner even in front of a large public audience. i sometimes struggle with public speaking and performing under pressure, but the thing is i enjoy being able to express and share my insights to others especially when it’s about a topic i’m passionate about— i just can’t do the same when i’m in front of a larger group of people.

how can i construct better speeches and answers, and with better vocabulary? is there any advice you would give as to how one can deliver their thoughts or insights in an organized manner even though it was promptly done on the spot and under pressure? how can i be a better speaker?

Okay, so I am in need some guidance. My iPhone 15 camera protector lens (due to my clumsy habit of dropping it) is now cracked and damaged. I’m wondering- what would be a better use of my time and my money? To go to the Verizon phone store near me and pay them to fix the camera lens? Or, is it better to order phone camera protectors online?

I have no coding knowledge or experience, but I want to learn. Where should I start?
((I want to work in the IT field for a good income, and I think I would enjoy coding.))

Hey everyone so I'm 17 and I want to learn american accent but I have very strong Pakistani accent and don't know where to start there are so many videos on YouTube and if by any chance I finally find a good app its paid can u guys plz help how can I have american accent in 1 or 2 year plz

I want to learn how to think and work like a successful entrepreneur. I'm especially interested in learning how people find good business ideas, make decisions, manage money, deal with failure and turn an idea into something real.

If you had to start learning entrepreneurship from zero, what would you learn first?

Hi! So i‘m a 20yr old student and ive actually been interested in movies and books for a very long time (nagkaroon ng slump for ilang years and now she‘s coming back) tapos may mga nahanap akong mga communities where they share their thoughts ab them tapos gusto ko rin eh kaso nahihirapan ako paano ko sasabihin yung thoughts ko on movies. like may times na sasabihin ko “Uy fave ko yan na movie” tapos kapag tinanong na ako wala akong maisagot. part of it is probably dahil natatakot ako malaman ng iba thoughts ko and isa rin is dahil baka di ko masabi ng maayos like hindi ko mabigyan ng justice yung thoughts ko sa iba.

i tried writing more pero wala parang naiinis ako kasi gusto ko talaga mabigyan ng justice yung thoughts ko so ending susulat lang ako tapos ig-ghost ko nalang siya and then idedelete ko rin kasi nakakainis makita yung pangit kong review NADHKANSKAKi

please send advice or tips on what to do and how’d you improve

I am a developer and one of my biggest problems seems to be articulating my thoughts, speaking with clarity, being able to deal with politics and conflict, and to persuade others to buy in my decisions.

How would I go about this?

Hey, I have recently moved out of my parents house and I am now living alone starting college.

What I have already learned is how important it is to be happy with yourself. I have started to go the the gym, study more, and I now want to learn to plan an instrument.

I never really learned to play anything in my life (exept for a year of playing piano in school, which I used to hate due to the way it was taught to us)

But I am just super unsure I am smart enough to do it. My hand coordination is terrible and I just cannot see myself playing something where I need to use my hands to do seperate movements. Also I worry that I can't learn basic skills or I get demotivated.

Any advice? (Planning to buy a keyboard to plug into my PC, a friend of mine also had one and used to use FL Studio to play music)

I don't consider myself very interesting, I don't have many hobbies and so i don't usually know what to talk about. I'd like to learn how to be interesting.

So I know the basics of computers My school had those computers but very less computer classes and the laptop I had at that time I used to watch movies and dramas on it 😭 so I just know very basic things and I want to learn more in computers that would be useful for me after my degree ..our manager said that start learning computer courses and all , I just need to know where to start from and what next should I learn basically a roadmap for learning !!!

I live in India and I got a job in an American IT company where I would have to speak with the clients in the US. I don't want to sound fake with the accent, but don't want to get into an embarrasing situation either where they cannot understand me due to the Indian accent.

I saw some reels in instagram but they are short and do not explain the whole thing. Is there any curated videos available for Indians to practice the American accent?

I see people make really cool edits of TV series, films and anime with music they like in the background. The editing can look so advanced and involve more than just switching up scenes (like having characters pop out of a frame into another scene).

I wanna make fan trailers too of obscure films and see how I progress. Where do I start and what are the best programs? I see people mention DaVinci Resolve and Adobe Premiere and idk which is better to use in what situation.

I want to learn how to speak in a more systematic and structured way. How do you guys practice learning how to speak more concisely, confidently, and clear thoughts?

I'm studying Information Systems major, and I don't really have any particular coding skills. Recently I was offered a chance to study abroad for 1 semester through an exchange program; I meet most of the criteria to apply, but as it turns out I also need to have a portfolio(projects, achievements, etc.) for it. What would you recommend to put together some kind of portfolio in 2-3 months?

Well there is no proper reason as to why I want to learn this skill but being ambidextrous seems really cool.

Right now I can write clearly (also slowly) on a white board with a bullet tip marker, but struggle to keep control when holding narrow pen grips, also my writing speed on white board is also slow (as writing fast would make the handwriting bad).

I need some suggestions on how I can improve from here, and how much time it takes to fully master it...

Edit.---> Thanks to all who commented, Right now it's day 3 of practice and I have finally got the grip now it's less shaky.... I appreciate all your help.

I know it sounds a bit silly but I have adhd and study and a student job.(I currently need to or take 6-8 modules per semester in a bachelors degree) often times when I have a deadline I find it easier to stay awake longer and then go to sleep rather than wake up early.

This actually messes up my sleep for weeks and I feel uncomfortable when I wake up.

I would prefer to achieve waking up early enough to know I either have a few additional hours to do things relating to deadlines or just start the day less rushed and be more productive and disciplined in general.

I appreciate your help and commends in advance!

I want to get more intentional about how I setup the space that I call home, but will have to do so sustainably and on a budget. I’ve seen videos of people turning thrifted furniture into super cool finished products and I’d like to learn the basics of how to do that.

So i assume that this is not uncommon, i've kept reading over the years as an adult but nearly not as much as i did as a kid and teenager. Also with school aside i had a pretty big vocabulary.
I remember every nuance would feel easy to express, i'd just have to go from the most obvious word and the synonyms would just roll in my head for me to pick the most adapted one.

Now it takes me so much time to think of one, they often only come back to my head minutes later and most of the time i have to settle with really superficial vocabulary or go online for a synonym if i really need it.

My first step is going to be to avoid depending on something else when i write and take the time to let them come to me.

Then i'll take a piece of paper when i read books and note all the words i don't know and use it as a bookmark.

But the problem is that all those synonyms are words that i already know about, it's just retrieval that happens to be the culprit.

So i wonder if there are good ways to focus on retrieval that you guys might know about ?

I read about 5 books a year, it's not much but i've been back into it lately and intend to read at least 2 books a month. I've also been writing a lot, diary, commonplace book, for the past month (that's why i'm really noticing the problem now and getting frustrated enough).

I'm french, so this is really to have universal tips.

Thank you all have a great day !

I am a person who’s crazy about knowledge. I want to learn literally everything. I love, biology, psychology, physics, history, anthropology… and so on. It’s just I can’t get enough time. 24 hrs is not enough for me. What should i do?

What should I learn when I have no money and no idea where to start?

I’ve been sitting at home for around 15–20 days doing pretty much nothing. I wake up, take a shower, eat, watch movies/series for a while, and then sleep. The days are just repeating themselves.

I genuinely want to learn something useful, but I have no idea what to start with. I also don’t have money to spend on courses or expensive resources.

So I wanted to ask you guys:

If you were in my situation, what skill would you start learning for free that could actually be useful in the future and potentially help you earn money later?

It can be anything — coding, AI, editing, communication, digital skills, a practical skill, etc.

I’m not looking for a quick-money scheme. I just want to spend my time learning something that will actually be useful a few months or years from now.

What would you recommend, and where can I learn it for free?

I literally only take selfies, which I don't think are even that good. I am not even sure or what my best angle is, and because of that, my last uploaded pic is years ago or my pfp would have some obviously stylzed filter.

Also, before someone comments, I am some social media addict who needs to post everything, bur ai simply don't want my whole profile to be all bad to fine selfies.

And of course, dating apps inherit the issue.

I want to learn the basics of photography, like taking better pictures, understanding lighting and using camera settings. What should I learn first?