Deaf cat + cautious cat — 2+ weeks and stuck in hiss land

[u/djandjandjandoinit]

Looking for advice or some similar experiences

• My resident cat, Merle (male), is deaf. He’s incredibly excited about our new cat and has zero chill about it.

• Midge (female) is new, cautious with him specifically (sweet with humans). She came from a hoarder situation, then a foster home with a mean cat, so she’s got some baggage.

What we’ve done so far:

• Separate rooms, scent swaps, solo room swaps, feeding near a closed door

• Mesh screen introductions for about two weeks: scattered growls and one hissing (all from Midge), but she’s calmed a bit. We’ve had one two-hour stretch of them lying near each other and dozing off, both relaxed through a mesh screen

• Midge came out on her own, but Merle bolted upright in excitement and startled her. She bolted and hid under our bed for a bit. We also did another intro and Merle was too into her and Midge hissed and went back into her room.

Neither of these cats are food nor toy motivated/distracted (and Merle has some serious food allergies).

Where we’re stuck:

Merle can’t hear her warning signals (growls, hisses) before he gets too close or too excited, so he doesn’t self-regulate the way a hearing cat might. We’re trying to manage his side of it ourselves (redirecting him with a cardboard poster, pets, picking him up and removing him, keeping sessions short), but would love to hear from anyone who’s introduced cats with a deaf cat in the mix, or dealt with one cat who’s all enthusiasm and ready for a new best friend when best friend isn’t as excited.

Specific questions:

• Any tricks for teaching a deaf cat to read the other cat’s body language instead of sound?

• Should we slow back down to mesh-only for a while after the startle, or keep trying short door-crack sessions? Is the hissing okay or should we immediately end it? (Midge comes back out and doesn’t stay hiding).

• How long did your “almost there” phase last before it clicked?

Thanks in advance!