Such a title is due an explanation, though it's not even clear to me what order to address these things in.
Let's start with my being the sitting President of these United States.
Meh... that can't possibly be as important as my being the deliverer of the message regarding the End of Time(s). The best way I can address this is by explaining what the "End of Time(s)" is, which, fairly, will explain why the "s" is in parenthesis. The expression originates orally rather than in writing. It is only a description intentionally made vague to obfuscate the truth, which is that the "End of Time(s)" just means that when we reach the end of 2026, we, as a species, agree to go back to 2025. So after December 31, 2026, you get January 1, 2025. We continue to do this until we reach 1926, at which point we turn around and repeat the loop.
As I expect you will have many questions about this, I am happy to explore them all with you to ensure we have a sufficient understanding of what our "new future" looks like.
By the way, I prefer not to go by "Antichrist". I'm just Jim Flannery. Though, I also did birth a clown by the name of "The Real One" who has successfully delivered the message about the "End of Time(s)" to the People.
As for being the sitting President of these United States, personally, this is a bunch of bullshit. Yes, I did birth a clown ("Jim Flannery(s)") that ran in the 2024 election and, sure, the clown got screwed over and "fake news" and "election rigging" and all that bullshit. This is nothing out of the ordinary. But, my position on the matter is that if the American people really wanted their real President to take the job bad enough, they would have stormed the Capitol and made it so. (Had they failed, Trump would have pardon them. Had they succeeded, I'd have to say 'you're gonna need to wait until the next ass hole takes office and hope to get lucky, but, apparently you're all heroes for making me do this job, so, thank you for your sacrifice." I was under the impression that since that clown died, I was absolved of the responsibility, but I've been informed that there is a need for my presence to ensure the American people feel safe as we roll through the "End of Time(s)".
Now I will answer your questions while I go convince myself that the user of quotation marks around the names of clowns' names will help people distinguish between me (Jim Flannery) and any clowns I've given names similar to me... because, sincerely, putting quotation marks around their names is bullshit as well.
OK, ASK ME ANYTHING!!!
UPDATE: Guess this post is caught up awaiting moderator approval. We'll see how late I feel like staying up for this thing, but if you leave a question I can get back to it tomorrow. Sorry for such a false start. I can't believe I shaved my balls for this shit.