r/BenignExistence • u/xamasssu • 6d ago
I pretend to have a lizard stalker.
I started doing this about a year ago. Every time I see a baby lizard (there are a lot where I live) I just pretend it’s the same one I saw last time. This has devolved into me pretending I have a baby lizard shadowing me wherever I go. I tell them to go away but I hope they never go away. I will continue this game until I am an old man. Thank you for your time.
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u/myironlions 6d ago
As long as it’s not a snail man, as long as it’s not a snail.
(j/k this is beautiful)
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u/sfdsquid 6d ago
This makes me wish I lived somewhere with lizards running around. I guess I could do it with squirrels but lizards are so cool.
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u/AdQuick546 6d ago
I once had a squirrel walk along a fence next to me as I walked home from work (night shift nurse). We walked together fairly often then my schedule changed and I wondered if he missed accompanying me home.
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u/LovelySunflowers09 6d ago
My dad lived in a house many years ago with a dog named Dakota. Dakota was always a little weirdo lol. One day there was a little lizard laying next to Dakota outside. Dad referred to the lizard as Dakotas alien lizard overlord. All lizards are now alien overlords lol
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u/Causticburner 6d ago
Hey, what's the baby lizard called? Is it Baby Lizard? I absolutely adore this!
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u/pathologicalprotest 6d ago
During lockdown, I worked from home like many others. It was winter, so bugs go inside (I am an open-window junkie). Every single day, there would be a daddy long-legs on my chest. It was probably my body warmth or the light from my computer, but I told myself it just liked me a lot.
Coincidentally, at the same time, I was working on a paper on how inmates in high-security prisons/ solitary confinement in this one prison had been observed to catch bugs and arachnids. The prison psychiatrist had written in his notes that he assumed it was to excert violence towards them. The prison priest (these were the only two people the inmates were allowed to interact with) had discovered that they kept them in matchboxes or other places and saved their sugar to feed them. As companions. Poetic coincidence. I never kill bugs or arachnids
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u/CanopiedIntuition 6d ago
Was this paper published so that we could read it or at least an abstract? It reminds me a little of the very first Father Brown story. "Oh, one's little flock, you know," he comments at the end regarding his knowledge of criminal underworld practices.
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u/pathologicalprotest 6d ago
It was! That’s really nice of you, but I am not comfortable having my real name and work associated with this account, which I use to commisserate, nonsense fun, and venting:) I hope that makes sense.
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u/aabbboooo 6d ago
Not the paper, but the same sentiment https://prisonjournalismproject.org/2023/03/06/i-keep-adopting-praying-mantis-prison/
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u/MerryFeathers 6d ago
Thank you. They deserve to live, each one is precious and has a job to do. Let them do it. 🐜
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u/onelonesock 6d ago
My family named a rabbit "Peanut". I moved far away. Now whenever I see a rabbit, I go, "Peanut, what are you doing here??"
So I have a rabbit stalker!
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u/Afraid_Wallaby_5995 6d ago
I have a couple of them in the garden. I know where each of them lives because I disturb them when I water the plants. They all have different sizes. Or maybe it's the same lizard changing sizes, prove me wrong :) There is also a praying mantis who keeps the gate. Also, I talk too my Roomba as if it were a pet 😆
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u/SufficientOpening218 6d ago
So, in r/lizardstalkers, he tells a different story, lol
Thats a really cute haibit. I love the added whimsy
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u/HistoricalPoint1685 6d ago
We named our lizard Kevin. All lizards are Kevin or Kevinette in our household.
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u/Evening-Anteater-422 6d ago
OK hear me out. It really is THE SAME LIZARD!