People who are extremely attractive, what’s it like?

[u/Mother-Ad4841]

[u/totomomoro]

The answers should come with pictures posted. I refuse to believe there are that many attractive people on Reddit, lol

[u/LordBrandon → u/totomomoro]

A long time ago there used to be threads where people would just post pictures of themselves so everyone could see what we looked like. There were a good number of attractive people even back then. Also a lot of people read Reddit with their shirt off according to the take a picture of yourself right now thread.

[u/Blieven → u/LordBrandon]

Self-selection bias. Pretty ones will share and get upvoted. Ugly ones will hide, and even if they don't will not receive the upvotes needed to push their post into people's feed.

[u/Jim_Chaos → u/LordBrandon]

Dude, we're all barely dressed in here.

[u/Antique_Program4754 → u/totomomoro]

I don't get why pretty people wouldn't use reddit. There's subs on here for fitness, makeup, and pretty much every hobby you can think of. What do people think pretty people do all day? Stare into the mirror blankly?

Some pretty people even read books.

[u/lakija → u/Antique_Program4754]

The time of Reddit only being filled with nerds with niche hobbies has passed. Reddit has everyone on it now. 

[u/ArtofAlmost12 → u/lakija]

Even celebrities lurk here.

[u/Antique_Program4754 → u/ArtofAlmost12]

Rick, if you're reading this, just know that we're never gonna give you up.

[u/Elite-Streak → u/lakija]

Yup, that ship has sailed. I miss the 2012 days when it was basic memes and wild lore stories

[u/Mobile-Finish8216 → u/totomomoro]

This comment shows the point most ppl are making in this thread. If people posted their pics people would act weird towards them in one way or another. Whether it be insults , unwanted messages etc .

[u/Pugkinspicedlatte → u/Mobile-Finish8216]

I cannot stop thinking about the time in a similar thread where someone said that the worst thing about being hot was that people think you are dumb. Said they accepted over time that the reason people treated him like he was stupid was clearly because he was hot.

A picture was demanded

Guy provided (obviously not a move a dumb man would make yeah?)

Anyway… dude looked dumb

[u/Mobile-Finish8216 → u/Pugkinspicedlatte]

I guess he shouldn’t have given miserable ppl who want to tear him down the ammo idk

[u/FootballFan1210]

I wouldn’t say im extremely attractive, but at one point I was a D1 athlete, and my sport required me to be extremely fit with both good aerobic and muscular fitness. Combined with me being reasonably tall and putting a lot of effort into my appearance I guess I qualify. But I think im more an 8.5/10 that hangs out with dudes that are married and look tired from raising kids.

Here is what I notice:
⁠I get a lot of female attention from women I’m not interested in e.g. ⁠mostly grandmas and middle aged women not saying older women can’t be sexy, just the ones that usually hit on me usually aren’t. T⁠hey will range from being sweet and saying things like “the girls must be all over you” to some women ⁠straight up grabbing me which isn’t great. I don’t like that, they don’t like that I don’t like that. So that sucks

⁠I get a lot of male attention especially when I’m in queer friendly spaces which happens from time to time where I live. They are also pretty chill, but if alcohol is involved things can be a bit more forward which is also not great

⁠people give me a pass when I don’t earn it. Basically the most recent version of this was over the summer I got into a car accident. I was 1000% at fault, but the cop who wasn't there at the time of the accident btw basically kept trying to make it not be my fault. Also when I get in trouble I tend to get warnings rather than punishment

⁠People listen when I speak compared to my friends. My friend is 5’9” bald and pretty scrawny. A few months back we were in a group and we were suggesting ideas for what to do during a bachelor party. My friend made a good suggestion that we should do paintball over golf because not everyone plays golf, they kinda gloss over it. I think its a good idea I bring it back up and suddenly people think it’s a good idea. Which is annoying

⁠this is the last thing I can think of, but every group presentation or presentation for my company or in school, I always have to be one of the people presenting even when I don’t know shit. I get shoehorned into it, and I don’t mind because Ive had practice, but damn I don’t want to always talk.

Many edits due to reddits formatting

[u/mikey-the-kid → u/FootballFan1210]

as a shorter person, this has been my impression of how taller, reasonably attractive people are treated. thank you for your honesty and noticing.

i feel less crazy now that you’ve said it, since there’s really no way for me to voice these observations without making myself feel petty and thus even smaller.

[u/FootballFan1210 → u/mikey-the-kid]

Yeah its one of those stupid bullshit aspects of life. My best friend is worlds smarter than me, its night and day, and it bothers me to no end that people are dismissive of him and “little brother” him. I think it’s wild that people listen to me because I can be an absolute bag of rocks sometimes. That said he is getting better at being assertive and standing his ground which does seem to be paying off for him

[u/midnight_mass_effect → u/FootballFan1210]

Based on this, I believe we’ve found an actually attractive redditor.

[u/WHISWHIP → u/FootballFan1210]

That hit me hard when you say you get passes a lot when you didn’t earn it. I’m unattractive and was charged with a crime I didn’t do. I definitely was over charged and it was to the point where my pretrial and probation officer even thought the charge was bullshit and they also thought how the government and judge went too hard on me. Government knew the whole facts but they dgaf because being unattractive really fucked me over.😢😞

[u/Possible-Tangelo9344]

Hmm... None of these comments apply to me...

But, my mother has assured me I'm the handsomest boy in the world.

I'm very confused.

[u/inflammablepenguin → u/Possible-Tangelo9344]

That's preposterous, my mother has assured me I am the most handsomest boy.

[u/Mbluish]

I’m an old lady now, but I was once extremely attractive. I literally turned heads wherever I went! The funny thing is, I honestly didn’t realize just how pretty I was. I always thought my girlfriends were prettier than me. There were definitely perks, but there were drawbacks, too. Some men fell for me purely because of my looks, and some became possessive. I also experienced jealousy from other women. I had one girl do my makeup terribly and another encourage me to pick out unflattering clothes. My own cousin once smeared cake all over my face at a party, literally as I was arriving. Looking back, I believe jealousy played a role in some of those experiences. Being attractive wasn't always the easy, glamorous experience people might imagine! Being attractive can open doors, but it can also attract the wrong kind of attention.

[u/Mollyringwald26 → u/Mbluish]

Same. I am a bit older now and to be honest I still get comments about my looks. I think it does make people much friendlier to me now. But when I was younger I was oblivious to how attractive I was, mostly bc my friends and mother downplayed it. But the amount of male attention was insane. But didn’t spare me from heartache. And the female jealously was pretty bad too, a few so called friends were absolutely viscous. Didn’t really make a difference in my life though. Worked hard. Dated some losers. Raised really good kids.

[u/goldenpummel → u/Mollyringwald26]

nah you just need to dilute those friends with some water, all will be fine

[u/kebiclanwhsk → u/goldenpummel]

tbh this was a viscous comment

[u/LFC9_41 → u/Mbluish]

I’m an okay looking guy, married to the most beautiful woman in the world but she says she’s average.

Our eldest daughter though, she’s objectively a gorgeous person.

Raising her is like living in the twilight zone watching how differently the world reacts to her.

It’s honestly wild and even though there are obvious drawbacks I’d take them any day of the week

[u/KCPs1234 → u/LFC9_41]

Yeah, me and baby mama are slightly above average. Mixed children are objectively great looking.

Very different lives.

Not saying better, but very different.

[u/rhudejo → u/Mbluish]

And how did you handle aging? Was it a hard crash that guys are no longer interested in you? Or the opposite, was it liberating? Or something else? Asking as someone who is in their early 40s and aging symptoms are really starting to show

[u/Mbluish → u/rhudejo]

Well, one day I looked in the mirror and saw an old lady looking back at me. I guess I’ve earned it!

It’s been a long time since I turned heads although I did recently go out for a drink with a friend and got hit on by a much younger guy. It was nice! I don’t know if I’d be better if I knew how attractive I used to be when I was younger or if it was better for me to be oblivious.

Just take care of yourself! I exercise, eat (fairly) well, wear sunscreen everyday, and drink a lot of water. I’ve been told I look younger than my friends who have not taken care of themselves.

[u/TitleToAI → u/Mbluish]

Thanks for sharing! Did you eventually find someone who liked you for you?

[u/Mbluish → u/TitleToAI]

Now that I think about it, my husband of 32 years saw a picture of me and wanted to meet. 🤷‍♀️

[u/TitleToAI → u/Mbluish]

lol

[u/mozzarellasalat]

Most people like me until they start having a conversation with me...(I have autism)

[u/crumbdumpster85 → u/mozzarellasalat]

Ha, same. When I get compliments about my looks I often awkwardly say something like “oh thanks, it’s just really too bad about my personality!” or “I bet I could change your mind in 5 minutes” And they’re like 🤨

😅

**edited to add: Jesus, people. Stop messaging me, I’m not sending you a pic to prove my looks. Especially not to the type of people who have the audacity to message me about it. Ick. Weirdos.

[u/Minemax03 → u/crumbdumpster85]

okay but what can they even say to that lol

[u/CastrateMeWithASpoon → u/crumbdumpster85]

I feel this I’ve literally turned down guys by being like ‘that is actually so nice but I don’t date because I’m crazy :)’

[u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ → u/mozzarellasalat]

Yea as a guy like this, it's often mildly uncomfortable. I'm also introverted and a little shy which I'm sure doesn't help. Seems like I'm supposed to act like a chad and then people get uncomfortable when I don't meet their preconceived expectations of my personality.

[u/Beginning_Name7708 → u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_]

This...and people don't mention it enough. If you are good looking and have any anxiety, people get almost angry at you.

[u/TheEerieZeroQueen → u/Beginning_Name7708]

In my experience people tend to interpret the intersection of hot and shy as aloofness

[u/Immortal_Azrael → u/TheEerieZeroQueen]

I used to get accused of thinking I was better than everyone else because I was quiet.

[u/ArtofAlmost12 → u/TheEerieZeroQueen]

I was hot for 10 minutes in my 20s, enough so that people asked me if I was an actress or dancer. As a busty, blue-eyed blonde, people believe I should be extroverted and cheerful. But I'm a dweller on the spectrum, someone who naturally analyzes everything. I'm also very science-based. Conversation doesn't flow easily unless I'm talking about a special interest but most people never wanted to go deep with me. Conversationally speaking, that is. 🤣

[u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ → u/Beginning_Name7708]

Yea I've gotten some pretty wild hate/jealousy for it, and you can't even really tell people about it because then you get even more of it. Makes it really difficult to have actual friends. I had to let go of most of my friendships I had for many years when I found out on my own at the same time that I was both good looking and a bit autistic and that most of my "friends" didn't actually like me.

[u/incoherentpanda → u/mozzarellasalat]

I'm pretty dorky, and people tell me I don't act how they would expect. I assume they always expect attractive people to be suave?

[u/barrybreslau → u/incoherentpanda]

I'm ugly but I'm really cool. It's an adaptation to ensure we can mate.

[u/HumanNinja7916 → u/mozzarellasalat]

Real!! It's so weird living when most ppl treat you like a decoration- pretty but strange if you talk to them. Led to me not really knowing how to talk to either girls or guys, as a dude

[u/ArcticParallelogram]

I’m definitely not trying to wave an “I’m so hot” vanity flag lol, but I do want to contribute to the conversation on how people can react to you if they happen to find you extremely attractive.

One thing I can speak to from past personal experience is people randomly and frequently comping/giving you things. Food, drinks, parking (lol), merch, little extras, free upgrades, random gifts, etc. People will quite literally bring offerings sometimes.

Also, when I was in college and constantly out and about, I’d sometimes deliberately dress down (I called it my “disguise”) just to have some peace — baggy clothes, my hair tucked into a huge beanie, sunglasses, that kind of thing. The difference in how people treated me when I wore that “disguise” was honestly jarring.

ETA:

Another thing: sometimes a surprising number of people knew who I was, my name, or little things about my habits/routine even though I have never spoken to them in my life.

That one can be especially weird because from my perspective they’re a complete stranger, but they already have some level of familiarity with. It’s not always sinister or anything — sometimes people just notice you, hear about you through other people, or remember seeing you around — but the imbalance can be really jarring.

Lastly - constantly getting accused of being a catfish online by randoms if I had a profile photo of myself or pictures up. Lol.

[u/SirFadakar → u/ArcticParallelogram]

The merch thing is so real. Not “extremely attractive” by any stretch but as a dude I got my fair share of pretty privilege when I was young and social.

I remember getting into bars underage a handful of times without even a fake just because I passed the “once over.” In high school my friends would send me to deal with cops because they always let me go and gave the rest of them a hard time if they tried the same script. People ask for my opinion even if I tell them straight I have no idea what I’m looking at.

The one that sticks with me most after all this time is that I told my friend during our festival phase that I loved it so much because any time I made eye contact with someone they’d smile back and he said that never happened to him once and that broke my heart. 🥹

[u/Just_to_rebut → u/SirFadakar]

>smile back

For anyone reading and feeling bad, this is the essential part. Even if you’re not stunning, most people will smile back if you smile at them even in my experience as a very average, kinda chubby guy with poor posture.

[u/Intelligent_Green752 → u/ArcticParallelogram]

The free stuff yes! I was out with my boss once and the guy behind the counter gave me free food….and my boss was like very puzzled and asked me about it and I literally thought nothing of it…I told him the guy was just being nice and my boss goes yeah people are nice to me too but I’ve never gotten free food and it dawned on me 😂😂

[u/Same-Suggestion-1936 → u/ArcticParallelogram]

On that last point I used to work with a girl who would wear really unflattering stuff and I kind of suspected but one day she came on off the clock wearing tight clothes and I was like "yes that is why she dresses the way that she does especially at work"

[u/fearofdrowning → u/ArcticParallelogram]

This... is making me realize I wasn't as attractive as I thought I was. I thought I was pretty when I was young and I got a lot of praise and male attention but I never got free shit. 🤣

[u/fishermansfriendly → u/ArcticParallelogram]

Yeah my daughters experience this. I realized at a certain point they they just came to expect getting free stuff from people as an expectation, and started to assume that people were bad/rude if they didn’t get free stuff.

[u/fauxfoucault → u/ArcticParallelogram]

This is much like my experience. Lots of freebies and upgrades for no real reason. Being given benefit of the doubt more often than not.

I also wear a "disguise" sometimes. My hair and my eyes are two of my most complimented features. Wearing a hat and sunglasses covers up the biggest attention grabers. And baggy clothes -- not celeb off duty cool baggy but ill fitted baggy -- makes a difference, too.

ETA: I'm not even drop dead gorgeous. I just have unique features and am definitely above average. I imagine these benefits are dialed up for even more attractive people.

[u/NiceEgg27]

As a man, I’ve been offered the job for every interview I’ve been in except one, where union rules were strongly at play. I’m kind, attractive, funny and charming. I barely passed high school (also due to my looks, no one diagnosed me with obvious learning disabilities and ADHD as a child/teenager).

Now I’m a counselling psychologist with an unmatched rate of retaining clients where I work. I used to think it was because I was an excellent therapist, but now I’m realizing I mostly just have one of those attractive faces and smiles people immediately trust and feel safe. It’s not a fair world.

Don’t worry, karma has its ways; I had cancer last year.

[u/Anothernamelesacount → u/NiceEgg27]

That aint karma, fren. Apparently, half of us will have one of those. I already know I have a ticket for the ride, the question is when, where, and if I'll catch it before its my last, and holy fuck, it couldnt happen to an ugliest, stupidest motherfucker.

Hopefully yours wont bother you anymore.

[u/JudgmentalOwl → u/NiceEgg27]

Jesus dude you definitely didn't deserve cancer for being hot!

[u/Present_Way_4318]

My sister is very attractive. Most women hate her because they think their husbands/bfs want her.

[u/Top_Insect_936 → u/Present_Way_4318]

Yeah or if I have a man with me they do everything they can to ignore me and get his attention. Now if I'm talking to a couple I igonre their man. I just want to be friends with people

[u/Kind_Candidate_9516]

I find it very very very hard to turn left

[u/fallenKlNG → u/Kind_Candidate_9516]

But why male models?

[u/thousandshade → u/Kind_Candidate_9516]

You must be really really, ridiculously good looking

[u/cheezitloverr420]

these comments made me realize i’m ugly asf

[u/Inevitable-Level-687 → u/cheezitloverr420]

Yeah I've always considered myself pretty but nobody's ever given me free food or randomly wanted to be my friend lol

[u/Gottendrop → u/cheezitloverr420]

This comments make me feel lucky I’m a 7 on a good day, I have my partner and a few friends I’m happy with that amount of attention lol

[u/RedTulipx]

It’s exhausting. People want to talk to you all the time. Everyone wants to be your friend and it’s hard to know who is genuine. It’s been hard to find a partner who likes you for you and not your looks. I will say people are more trusting of you right away.

[u/MouthPoop → u/RedTulipx]

I’m sorry, wanna chat about it over a coffee?

[u/krrankybaby → u/MouthPoop]

MouthPoop understands the assignment

[u/Rosetti → u/krrankybaby]

Eh, that guy is always chatting shit.

[u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ → u/MouthPoop]

Coffee with MouthPoop sounds lovely

[u/kayej17 → u/RedTulipx]

I would say the pros far exceed the cons

[u/RedTulipx → u/kayej17]

I agree. I moved up very quickly at my corporate job. I do think it was partly skills but also pretty privilege exists.

[u/trivial_sublime → u/RedTulipx]

I have the opposite experience as a man much of the time - at least on the first part. Most women are hesitant to initiate interactions with me, and they tend to get quite flustered if I talk to them first. After I get to know women they’re like “I was way too intimidated to try and talk to you.”

I went through most of my life thinking I just had no mojo and was unattractive for some reason. Self image is weird.

[u/scarves_and_miracles → u/trivial_sublime]

After I get to know women they’re like “I was way too intimidated to try and talk to you.”

Just FYI, they don't talk to us ugly ones, either.

[u/Hellohelloitsme303 → u/trivial_sublime]

I was in a relationship with a man who was very much more attractive than I was (at the time). He pursued me and met me in a circle of shared friends. We’d talk about it sometimes that people would look at us and think we don’t match. I’m not sure I recall if I was all that insecure about it, I flaunted it for sure, but it did make me realize I should have more confidence. Ultimately he cheated and my friends all told me it was because I dated up, but I think it was because he was a loser at his core.

Anyway, I still get flustered when someone I find extremely attractive talks to me. Or when I shoot my shot on the apps and end up meeting up with someone I considered a physical 10. For whatever reason, I get interest when I’m the pursuer. Guessing maybe because some men might not think they have mojo 🤷‍♀️

[u/Narissis → u/Hellohelloitsme303]

Speaking as a man who is far too nervous to initiate... there are dozens of us! Dozens!!

[u/Monspeet-o → u/RedTulipx]

Do you mean always being approached in public, or like if you're in a shared space with acquaintances and the like, they always wanna be talking to you?

[u/fatincomingvirus → u/Monspeet-o]

People of both genders(strangers) approach you and strike up conversations with you randomly.

[u/Salt-Replacement9999 → u/RedTulipx]

To top it off, nobody cares and they think these issues are laughable. I had made a new study buddy friend (also part of a group) and after I put out there I’m not looking for a relationship, he cut me off and said I’m ’suffering from success’ because since I’m beautiful, no guy will ever want to be my friend. Like dude I just want genuine people in my life and I’m kind of lonely because I can’t seem to find them. I have issues with women too.

[u/RedTulipx → u/Salt-Replacement9999]

I would say keep putting yourself out there. You will find good genuine people and friends but it takes time. Years really.

[u/Social-Introvert → u/RedTulipx]

My partner and I are both attractive, although I put her on a tier above myself even though she doesn’t see it that way. We admit that we were shallow in being together initially based on looks, and she will remind me occasionally “well I’m not with you because of your personality!”

But we do truly love each other and even though looks brought us together, it was finding the right partner that has kept us together. Good luck.

[u/Good_Photograph_3797]

I’m so lonely. I’m a woman and people are either intimidated, threatened or want you as a prize. Edit: I’m already getting weird messages 😭 and people don’t even know what I look like

[u/cinnamon-fox187 → u/Good_Photograph_3797]

Exactly how I feel. I have a very small circle of friends, I hardly ever have people approach or talk to me in public, people being rude despite being a nice person..

[u/Riipp3r → u/cinnamon-fox187]

TIL I’m extremely attractive

[u/olive_dix → u/Good_Photograph_3797]

For a long time I thought all the cool guys in my social circle didn't want to talk to me because something was wrong with me. I really thought they viewed me as lame or annoying because they'd all go quiet if I entered the room and started chatting with them. Years later I asked one of them why everybody disliked me so much. He said it was the opposite! They thought I was really hot and I guess they were intimidated. It made them act nervous and awkward. It makes sense in hindsight but man did that blow my mind.

[u/Then_Designer_6880 → u/Good_Photograph_3797]

As a person who considers themselves average at best, I'd imagine it's like winning the lottery every day. However, I didn't consider the downsides you pointed out, and I hate to hear how lonely they've made you feel. Do you find that the negatives of your appearance outweigh the positives on the whole? How hard is it to tell when someone sees past your exterior and shows genuine interest in you?

[u/transemacabre → u/Good_Photograph_3797]

I worked with a very beautiful woman, and men treated her like a prize to win and parade around. Like a possession. There's no winning, the game is rigged, no matter if you're a hag or a supermodel.

[u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

I have a ridiculously good looking friend.

Women get offended when he shows any sign he doesn't want to be touched. Culturally we like to tell ourselves that women aren't as bad as men...no. They just have higher standards before they harass a man, and are more subtle about it.

Men generally don't care that he's better looking. We joke about being jealous, but very few men try to be competitive with him. But they do tend to make a lot of assumptions about his love life and personality. Apparently hot guys are only allowed to have one personality.

[u/Antique_Program4754 → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

I briefly dated an insanely objectively attractive man once. He complained about middle-aged women just grabbing his arse etc.

The differences were that he wasn't physically threatened by the women the same way I was by the men who did it to me, but the women genuinely seemed to believe they were doing nothing wrong and didn't see it as sexual harassment. The men knew they were being pests but just didn't care and felt entitled anyway, I guess. Both are gross.

[u/Normal_Ad_1767 → u/Antique_Program4754]

I was in a bar in college, and I was minding my own business going to the back to get a drink.

A woman full on grabbed everything, just clutched my crotch. I was horrified, it had never happened before, I’m not a party person didn’t go out often, and in kinda of a shock I opened my mouth and went wide eyed.

She went from kinda smirking, to rage when she saw my reaction. I didn’t say or do anything, but she started screaming “YOURE NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING, FUCKKKK YOUUUUU!!”

I never said I was???

[u/Antique_Program4754 → u/Normal_Ad_1767]

What the.... ?

How did she expect you to react to that? Some women really think they're irresistible.

[u/Normal_Ad_1767 → u/Antique_Program4754]

I have no idea, nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I was playing varsity football, but I was nerd at heart and spent most my time reading and painting.

This was one of the first times I went out with my teammates and was kind of coming out of my shell. I was not equipped in anyway to handle the situation and just froze up.

[u/transemacabre → u/Antique_Program4754]

Women tend to assume what they're doing is harmless because they're a woman. Watch any videos of hearthrob celebrities being mobbed by female fans or female fans rushing the stage. They will grab crotches, grope his ass, try to force kisses, etc.

[u/Notoriously-Noted → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

This is so true. Women are VERY weird around my very attractive partner. They fawn over him and touch his arms and I’m just like “didn’t you learn not to touch strangers in like… preschool or something?”

[u/seanc6441 → u/Notoriously-Noted]

Actually no, they didn't learn. The reality is most young girls/young women aren't thought how to respect men, treat men, etc. We tend to turn a blind eye to that in society and bank on the fact women in general are not able to impose themselves on men in most ways, even though they can in other ways.

The issue is the bad apples use that to be quite malicious and feel emboldened enough to take no responsibility for their behaviour because they aren't held accountable for their actions.

[u/Notoriously-Noted → u/seanc6441]

Sad but true. And I’m a woman saying this of other women.

I have a coworker who is literally obsessed with my man. I had to spell it out for her one day by saying “maybe nobody has ever told you but you are exhibiting weird and offputting, borderline stalking behavior that is 100% workplace harassment. I am generally used to women being weird around my man but you have crossed some lines here and I will not tolerate it any longer.”

If it were reversed genders (a man obsessed with a coworker’s wife) there would probably be law enforcement involved.

[u/Reasonable-Aioli-370 → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

This is true. Have had as many straight women grope me as gay dudes. Women’s behavior is really not significantly better than men’s you just need to be better looking to elicit that kind of behavior from women.

[u/LordBrandon → u/Reasonable-Aioli-370]

There are a lot more straight women out there than gay dudes.

[u/lsaz → u/FloppieTheBanjoClown]

totally agree on that I’m ugly as fuck but befriended a extremely attractive 6’3 guy in college and I saw some awful things he went through, the most shocking one is women can be as physically abusive as men if they get rejected.

[u/pinkbedsheet]

Guys with small egos see you as a challenge for some reason. Whatever you say has to be backed up by a thousand points of research, or it's just blown off. Your presence is something that needs to be called out and made smaller. Guys are weird sometimes.

[u/space_heater1 → u/pinkbedsheet]

This my God. The cringe debate club tactics and intentional misunderstanding of what you are saying. It feels like you are just having a conversation with yourself.

[u/TheWatchQueen → u/pinkbedsheet]

I thought this was just the life of a woman🧍‍♀️

[u/-frank-- → u/pinkbedsheet]

Going into software engineering was miserable for this reason. Even when you prove you’re right without doubt, they will still act like you’re wrong.

[u/Accurate-Boat4588 → u/pinkbedsheet]

This. 100 per cent. 

[u/Intelligent_Green752 → u/pinkbedsheet]

They literally make it a point go against what you say!!

[u/CastrateMeWithASpoon]

It depends on like who you are and who you surround yourself with. Honestly I have it pretty good bc I’m really conventionally attractive with makeup and I’m mid without. Decent build, shorter, take care of myself, pretty confident etc. I just have a fairly average face and elevating that with makeup makes a big difference for me. Whats cool is that I don’t have to deal with getting creeped on as much if I dress down and don’t wear makeup. One time I had to run to Walmart before a party and got a taste of what girls that are like full time 10s have to go through though. I asked someone to get something off of a shelf for me and he refused to hand it to me unless I gave him my number. I gave him a fake number, and I think kinda neatly sums up the downsides of getting attention. He also followed me to my car and for the rest of my shopping trip and it really sucked. I am extra careful to look like shit everywhere I go most of the time lol.

Also have never had trouble finding a boyfriend really but more of them have treated me like actual hot garbage than ones that haven’t lmao

[u/PHX_Geezer → u/CastrateMeWithASpoon]

“I asked someone to get something off the shelf for me and he refused to hand it to me unless I gave him my number …”

That’s some fucked up shit.

[u/Time-Unit-2374]

I’m also smarter than most people. It’s a heavy cross to bear

[u/abdergapsul → u/Time-Unit-2374]

Dick’s bigger too

[u/RoyalFail6 → u/abdergapsul]

Money longer too

[u/scarves_and_miracles → u/abdergapsul]

My dick is smarter than all the other dicks.

[u/LyingCutey_]

finally! Something I don't really relate to

EDIT: WTFFFF i read that as "People who are extremely unattractive, what’s it like?" but i got some likes ;)

[u/Enough_Raccoon_8616 → u/LyingCutey_]

You're lying cutey. 😜

[u/LyingCutey_ → u/Enough_Raccoon_8616]

omg, i really need glases

[u/ComprehensivePie7613]

People will stare at you like you did something badly to them. The hard part is I am quiet and people may take that as snobby or powerful. You have to be so careful to keep peaceful relationships with all people. There's very few people I can fully trust. I mainly make friends with people 15-20yrs older. I've always had to take a lot of crap due to jealousy and have to handle it gracefully because people try hard to challenge your character to try to make you "ugly." I happen to be a super sensitive, overly caring type in addition to what one older woman once classified me as "stunning." When my mom died and perimenopause hit, I gained 40lbs and family seemed most satisfied watching me suffer. I am now losing the weight and have put up a lot of boundaries for my overall health. People can be so terrible when insecure.

[u/PublicCharacter435]

People do treat you nicer, beauty gets you ahead sometimes, beauty is currency so I have a lot of leverage - but the downsides of being attractive makes it difficult to appreciate the pros.

Men are always staring at me lustfully. I don’t feel I’m ever being taken seriously by them. Even my plastic surgeon - top 50 in Europe who has everything to lose, wont respect medical ethics around me. And I can tell that he’s incredibly focused and protective of his position. Yet he still can’t control himself around me.

Whenever I walk past couples, my presence disrupts them. The women would look up at the guy to track their eyes, the men would look away to overcompensate.

But the #1 worst thing about being beautiful is how much women usually hate me, and I have really struggled with friendships my entire life because their envy and insecurity always made things turn bitter. All the smear campaigns, competition, exclusion, withholding, belittlement, have cut me, chipped at my confidence and sense of self massively. When I was younger I didn’t catch it and it went straight to my self perception - precisely to how I feel about my personality not being valuable enough to keep people around. I feel like I’m too much and not enough at the same fucking time. The consistent betrayal and hate I’ve received from women over the years, before I was wise enough to see it for what it is, has genuinely damaged me and cut me so deeply that I can’t exist without questioning every thing I say, performing my identity instead of just existing, monitoring everything I do, to the point I don’t even like socialising anymore. I have friends and they all seem mature but I’m always bracing for when they’ll leave. And I don’t even have anxiety or abandonment issues - it’s just pattern recognition lol

On one hand I know I’m great, I have depth, I’m intelligent, I’m ambitious, and I’ve always been a strong personality. But all the trauma has clouded my strength and I have all these layers of shit I don’t know how to let go off.

I just carry a massive sense of apathy revolving community.

[u/ShesGoneBananas → u/PublicCharacter435]

I’m sure there are levels to it, and I live in a city that has arguably more beautiful women than any other city in the world so the power of beauty may be diluted, but I’ve been ugly and obese and I’ve been pretty and slim (pretty enough for small modeling gigs and getting a job as a bottle/promo girl at a high-end club, not supermodel pretty) and my experience with other women has been so different. I’ve found it 1000000x easier to make friends as a pretty person regardless of gender. Maybe I’m not at the level of beauty where it becomes an issue, but making friends and being included is just way harder when you’re ugly.

[u/readithere_2 → u/PublicCharacter435]

I can relate! My above response is similar! It’s the worst part about it.

[u/creationignored]

Mixed bag.

I think there are plenty of personality-related upsides people don’t mention.

- Because I barely feel jealous or insecure, I hold a surplus of space to be genuinely nice and kind.

• I rarely find people attractive based on looks alone, and thus am more attentive to their personality and quirks.
  
• I detect shallowness quickly, and strongly dislike it.

That being said, there are plenty of downsides. It can be alienating. Sure, I often receive attention, gifts and compliments, but it quickly feels shallow and leaves me with a sense of loneliness.

In social settings people tend to:

• become strangely defensive and catty.
  
• Go out of their way to display how “indifferent they are.”
  
• demonstratively withhold positive feedback or compliments.

Concerning everyday life, I’m privileged. My boyfriend often laughs at how oblivious I am to all the “special treatment” I get in terms of services. It seems I’m treated better by strangers and the general public. Hopefully I manage to return the favor.

[u/Temporary-Impress604 → u/creationignored]

I feel the withholding element of this very intensely. I’ve had male friends of mine deny me very basic things, like adding a song to a queue because “I need to hear no more often” - basically punishing me for pretty privilege

[u/GarranDrake → u/creationignored]

A few of the people who I’ve told about my asexuality said they suspected I wasn’t straight because I didn’t treat them differently based off their looks.
Granted, depending on the social setting, I’m very very talkative and extroverted. A friend from the gym once said she thought I might have liked her because I was talking to her a lot, until she saw a guy come in and she realized I had the exact same friendship with him as I had with her. And then as she saw me at a more crowded time at the gym, she realized I was like that with virtually everyone.

[u/Longjumping-Bid-5405 → u/creationignored]

“ - I rarely find people attractive based on looks alone, and thus am more attentive to their personality and quirks.”

This just filled me with hope only to realize later you’re a girl

[u/evaintheus]

Helpful. Actually really helpful in many situations. Just make sure you are not taking advantage of people and you're good. 🫶

[u/myfirstnameisntmango]

A lot of people have told me I’m attractive “pretty” I’ve never really took that as a serious compliment as a guy, and personally I think I’m average.
From my experience people tend to be really nice to you, and want to be your friend and I’ve made a lot of connections that helped me get jobs i otherwise wouldn’t have gotten. People at work tend to brush off your mistakes pretty easily.
And for dating, women do actually approach you. My current gf of 4 years is actually the one who initiated.

[u/Notoriously-Noted]

I get treated preferentially most of the time, just due to my looks. My coworkers see me as smarter than my objectively more intelligent counterpart who just happens to not be as attractive.

On the flip side, there are people who do not take me seriously. I struggle with mental health at times and it is very difficult to get taken seriously as most people are like “boo hoo the person who is good looking is depressed!”

People always want to talk to me and feign interest in anything I say just to get their dopamine hits of talking to a conventionally attractive person.

I have weird creepy neighbors who lurk outside and wait for me to go on walks so they can corner me into conversation.

I feel weird and unsafe with anyone knowing where I live due to the number of creeps I encounter on a regular basis.

I generally wear hats if I don’t want to be approached but going out in public means I will most definitely be approached with unwanted attention, hat or not.

One time, as I was backing out of a parking spot at a grocery store, a man knocked on my driver side window and scared the fuck out of me. I stopped and rolled the window down slightly (I was younger then and didn’t realize I should’ve just honked and continued on). He just wanted to make smalltalk and ask where I work and learn my name. The fuq? But at that age I was just so accustomed to weird attention I thought it was the people I lived around. Moved cities and it still happened all the time so I realized I needed to be much more rude and closed off.

I’d rather people think I’m a bitch than end up dead.

[u/SomaComa-AP]

Does it count if I think I’m extremely attractive but that doesn’t seem to be shared amongst the populous?

[u/Electronic_d0cter → u/SomaComa-AP]

in the sheeps mind he is a lion so yes

[u/Lazy_Fix_8063 → u/SomaComa-AP]

That's the best kind of delusion honestly.

[u/cfaith2022]

Wonderful!
Free food, free everything, people always so happy to see you. Want to talk to you. Bend over backwards for you. Everyone wants to get to know you. Random strangers wanting to take pics with you.

Creepy guys, stalkers, men liking you only to show you off, men becoming obsessed with you and wanting to control you, men wanting to humble you for no reason, fearing for your safety, people randomly touching without any consent, jealousy, envy, evil eye, people plotting on your downfall. Lots of staring. Losing friends, gaining friends, getting accused because someone’s boyfriend fancies you and you smile too much.

Watching men drool while holding their girlfriend’s hand, watching men drop their girls hand as soon as they see you. Watching men go behind their wives backs to try to hook up with you while their wife is actually in the room. Watching male best friend back stab each other as soon as your boyfriend leaves the room and his “friends” try to hit on you. Loss of trust.

Watching previously “impossible” business deals go through because you showed up and somebody likes you. It’s like seeing the full spectrum of humanity. It’s like shining a light and seeing everyone’s true colours. The good, the bad, the ugly. All while not understanding a thing, because it’s just you and you’re not very special. Lot of drama, very lonely.

[u/Odd_Answer_6491]

Everyone looks at you, like you are made of gold.

[u/Enough_Raccoon_8616 → u/Odd_Answer_6491]

Odd answer mate

[u/biohacker2001 → u/Enough_Raccoon_8616]

Enough, Racoon. Pretty impressive that you're able to write tho

[u/Enough_Raccoon_8616 → u/biohacker2001]

What can I say, I was bio hacked

[u/biohacker2001 → u/Enough_Raccoon_8616]

I'm upvoting you, but I think no one got the joke

[u/maddie0829 → u/[deleted]]

There have been many times where I thought I had a genuine friendship with a guy only to be hit with the classic “Can I tell you something?” eventually 😭

[u/NotPumba420 → u/maddie0829]

If it makes you feel better: That doesn‘t mean there was no genuine friendship. Feelings/attraction can come on top of friendship. Doesn‘t make the frendship fake or that people act as friend just to get more with you. But they cannot just turn off being attracted to you.

[u/lazylazylemons]

I was very conventionally pretty when I was young. It was stressful because everyone felt they had a right to comment on my body, face, hair, clothes. Every smile you get has to be double considered because if you take it at face value and smile back, there’s a 50% possibility that it’ll turn into a leer, sexual comment, or unwanted movement into my personal space. When people compliment you, you can’t know if it’s because you’re pretty or because you actually wrote a killer paper or were particularly clever or were truly exceptional at something.

I’ve put on a little weight as I’ve aged and my skin isn’t as glowy anymore and I’m wrinkling up a bit. My hair is pretty gray and texture has gone wild. I joke that I’ve moved into my “old crone” stage. Most people look through me now and honestly, it’s fucking FREEING. I don’t bother with makeup because I don’t care and I don’t owe anyone anything. I’m clean and I smell good but my hair is curly and wild and I wear what I want instead of what people think I should wear “to accentuate my figure”.

Seriously, fuck all that. You couldn’t pay me to go back.

[u/Cultural_Praline_508]

People will hate you as much as people will like you. You are more easily noticed and remembered so everything you do is more scrutinized. Most people will default to the assumption you are flirting with them if you are nice. Everyone will assume you are a horrible piece of shit if you have even a little bit of a bad day (to be fair your mood can change the environment so....).

     Aging will change the way you fundamentally perceive yourself; you go from feeling hot to ugly to hot again, then back to ugly, almost at the universe's whim. The attraction never completely stops; it only changes and all that's happened is you've crossed some barely perceptible threshold into a new group's kink. 

    W hatever charisma you've built up goes through the same changes. Sometimes it feels like it was never there in the first place, other times it feels like all that changed was your ability to perceive it.

It isn't always bananas and rum, but it is definitely always flombe.

[u/HotConstant7522]

774 comments yall are some ugly ass liars 😂

[u/Alternative_376]

Everyone always talks about how unfair pretty privilege is, but no one understands that pretty punishment is a very real phenomenon. When you’re pretty (especially pretty women), you are constantly a walking target, especially in competitive settings like the workplace. Women are always looking to become your friend to learn about you so they can sabotage you later on. Men become dangerous when you don’t reciprocate their interest. You can literally be just minding your own business but envious people will always try to provoke you even if you’ve done nothing to them. The worst part is that when you try to speak out on your own experiences, envious people will always deny your experiences. No one understands you or wants to because they assume everything is easy for you, which couldn’t be more far from the truth. Attention is a double edged sword.

[u/ronotju747 → u/Alternative_376]

Very few guy answers… I suppose I am above average?

The only con I can think of is with my job. I am a high school teacher and I never dare to be alone with a female student.

They’ve hit on me enough, and I simply ignore them, but when I have to correct a student, I always have to do it on the hallway, or with another teacher present.

[u/Chevalitron → u/Alternative_376]

I discovered this when I got to know a woman who looked rather good by most people's standards. It was impressive how often random women would start fights with her or try to take her down a peg just for existing near them. She seemed to walk through life expecting constant battles.

[u/Suspicious_Star4535 → u/Alternative_376]

I’ve had all of these things happen. And when I got depressed and let myself go, some of the important people in my life just watched me deteriorate. It was like they preferred to see me that way and didn’t want to support me in any way, so as to avoid me getting my spark back.

[u/LotusBlooming90 → u/Suspicious_Star4535]

Ooo I’ve had a version of this too. I made one really good friend (I thought) in my rough years. When I had kinda let myself go and wasn’t doing great financially or mentally. But I’ve been putting my life back together over the last two years, I’m in a great place financially, and in the best shape of my life. And I swear this woman had shitty comments to make every step of the way. I think our whole friendship was predicated on her feeling better than me, and she would cheer me on on the surface but there were always these little digs where it was clear she didn’t feel like I deserved the nice things coming to me. Like I couldn’t have the things she has because I’m less than.

Anyway, the whole thing imploded once my business got off the ground and life was finally comfortable. But I’m thankful for it. I kept sweeping her little comments under the rug just thinking everyone experiences some jealousy from time to time. But after a while it just ate at her so badly she lashed out and I was able to walk away.

Truly a bizarre experience

[u/Harry_Flowers → u/Alternative_376]

Pretty similar for men I’d say, with some slight difference.

Rather than women becoming dangerous, they can become vengeful.

Men will see you as a competition straight away, either passively excluding you from things or assuming you think yourself a hot shot at literally everything.

There are good thing obviously, people generally do approach you with a smile and want to get to know you (at least initially), making women friends might be somewhat easier.

In a professional setting it’s similar, some superiors will prefer to take you under their wing, some will take you as a threat and do what they can to push you down.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows.

[u/BVRPLZR_ → u/Harry_Flowers]

Idk, as a mediocre looking hetero male, I love making friends with the new hot guy. I’ll catch the runoff and know my role as the wingman. I’m even ok with riding coattails to better positions at work, I know the game and am a willing participant.

[u/Garth_AIgar → u/BVRPLZR_]

This sounds like something Charles Boyle would say.

[u/WrapperMiss → u/Harry_Flowers]

As a guy who’s been told he was handsome and still to this day gets called it, i’ll say the pros outweigh the cons, I won’t lie about that.

Won attractive in the school’s pop poll and was always told by my friends that some girl liked me - i’ve lost track of how many times i’ve been told that.

Pros:

• more people are way friendlier, including guys
  
• easier to get your request fulfilled
  
• easier to network
  
• older dudes are more likely to mentor you and take you under their wing

However, the cons are there.

Cons:

• jealous, competitive guys (it’s a small minority, but the ones who are are usually extremely aggro in combination with being unattractive and/or short - it’s usually easily defused by downplaying yourself and giving them compliments. They’re usually surprised by it because they first see you as a threat)
  
• occasionally, even women are jealous. They’re almost always not attractive themselves. However, when it comes to competition/jealousy, women aren’t really a threat.

Regarding the groping / random touching, the random touching has happened a LOT. Even from my wife’s friends. Groping has happened, only at a party. However, i’ve never felt threatened by any of it. I imagine it’s much more frightening for women who are receiving unwanted physical contact.

I could definitely tell when other women at work or in passing were attracted to me, but there’s little benefit to it unless it helps facilitate easier work communication or another tangible benefit.

I’ve had a therapist hit me on and ask me out.

I’ve had random women ask me to come over to their place or make out with me at parties.

I’ve also had friends who would tell me, “man all these women, like you, why don’t you hook up with them?”

I just wasn’t that interested in communicating with women.

The attention was nice.

Truth be told, being attractive as a man is only good for two things IMO.
1. Finding your partner. Once i found my wife, i don’t need to be found attractive by any other women. I don’t need the validation or attention.
2. Business/networking. Other guys being more amenable or personable to you is the only benefit that I really care about. Anything to help me further my purpose or make more money, i’m all for.

[u/transemacabre → u/Harry_Flowers]

There was an absolute knockout gorgeous guy at my dojo. The jealousy from the other guys was unreal! They would talk shit about him the moment he walked out the door! They sounded like gossiping hens, way worse than any group of women. It was crazy, like you could see them just seething.

[u/scarves_and_miracles → u/Alternative_376]

Sounds like it's good to be attractive, but not TOO attractive.

[u/gullscall]

You will only fully realize its true power the moment it is gone.

[u/HidingInPlainSite404]

I used to be handsome. My experience was that I had to do very little initiation with women to get things started. I didn't need "game"— I just needed to not be weird.

Those days are behind me, my friend.

[u/eliseeas224]

People are intimidated .

[u/Electronic_d0cter]

i think as a man its definitely better than it is for women, but you learn pretty quickly that theres a lot of creepy women out there and theyre often much better at hiding it than men are

[u/safedwg]

people tryna be passive aggressive haha like complimenting u and then next minute pointing out ur insecurity idk

[u/LurkerSmirker6th → u/safedwg]

People don’t believe that “pretty people” can be bullied! For exactly that. 🫂

[u/Aromatic-House-7894]

its nice to get looks but it still comes down to money. whats it like to be rich and attractive is the question.

[u/Active_Table2081 → u/Aromatic-House-7894]

but doesn't attractiveness bring money

[u/GreenVenus7 → u/Active_Table2081]

I'd say yes but for women the manner seems more direct. I have a friend who is so pretty that she doesn't worry about going to bars without money because some man will inevitably offer to buy her something. Its such a sure thing that I don't even have to buy my own drinks if I go out with her lol. Guys are typically still expected to do something to earn the money but beautiful women can get paid just for their presence

[u/JudgmentExtension713]

I wish I were smart instead so I could be rich. People treat me weird and I'm an introvert so now I'm even more of an introvert.

Modeling is hard cos I can't smile. I have no social skills either.

Well, at least I don't have body issues.

[u/East_Attorney1765 → u/JudgmentExtension713]

Being good looking is more likely to get you rich than being highly intelligent.

[u/Diddy_Block → u/East_Attorney1765]

You just have to be smart enough to be born to rich parents and have their friends have the money to finance your business ventures.

[u/gabi_fields → u/East_Attorney1765]

Being smart and $6.95 will get you exactly one cup of coffee.

[u/the_other_Scaevitas → u/JudgmentExtension713]

Smart people aren’t always rich

[u/Arvandor → u/the_other_Scaevitas]

And not all rich people are smart, either

[u/Secure_Description92 → u/JudgmentExtension713]

I think conscientiousness is more likely to make you rich than intelligence.

[u/reflect-the-sun → u/JudgmentExtension713]

Being smart sucks and your best way to getting rich is to sell yourself well and have zero morals.

I'm at the top of my game and all of my "managers" are political, brown-nosing, incompetent, lazy motherfuckers. 

However, they're exceptional at taking credit for my work and selling themselves to the board.

[u/3flaps]

I used to be pretty good looking. It genuinely was too much power. I stopped using it and uglified myself sub consciously so I could find somebody who liked me for me. It worked. She is an amazing human.

[u/Shippy0388]

I don't know, hope this helps.

[u/Few-Breadfruit4786]

Omg I hate it. I’ve had people dance me around like a show pony. I get denied and pushed when I say I have a boyfriend. People look at me like my life is perfect when it’s been absolute shit. I hate it.

Once in an interview, I wore basic makeup to it, the woman interviewing said “we have to wear hair nets, we don’t get to be pretty here”. IN AN INTERVIEW. So no, people are fucking mean no matter what you do or how you look

ETA another story, my manager once went through an absence of a coworker, he was getting his teeth fixed from gum disease and apparently, because I have I have nice teeth I must be a judgemental fuck. Why are you even discussing someone’s absence with me!!

[u/trashbilly]

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

[u/RecognitionLivid6472]

women hate beautiful woman, they don't like competition. you cannot be beautiful AND fun at the same time around them, because then you get all the attention from guys. maybe you can get away with being beautiful and boring, but that just makes you less attractive. and most of the guys are intimidated by beautiful women, they think that pretty women are high maintenance and will leave once they find a richer guy. the ones that want a beautiful trophy wife are not actually interested in their personality, they just want the looks and have them as a nice accessory. so i don't think it's that much fun.

[u/MarcusSurealius]

Beauty is like having a second income. It gives you the feeling that you'll never be broke.

[u/Mobile-Finish8216]

People don’t see you for who you are and project a personality on you . Lots of slick jokes etc from ppl who will also try to benefit from you .

[u/FauxPositif9390]

Being extremely attractive is subjective to others personal preference but: 1. Men constantly think I am high maintenance, make assumptions about my character in the context that I am superficial and dont have a brain, and treat me like so. 2. Some men use put downs to bring me to their level and try to make me insecure 3. Rarely ever do men have truly meaningful conversations with me and keep it surface level, which is a turn off every time. 4. Men are sometimes really insecure around me or think that by excessively complimenting my looks and love bombing me will win me over 5. In an office setting and my career, 75% of women segregate me out socially and try to bully me or go out of their way to try to make my life harder (some people never get out of that high school mentality). Surprisingly, in office settings I work with men a lot better and have never been treated differently by them for being an attractive woman. Haven't met one who has tried to come onto me unprofessionally or demean my intelligence and capabilities.

I have had a couple stalkers.

As a result:

I train muay thai and always carry protection on me, go to the shooting range often, my dog can attack on command. I also light prayer candles around my house so if someone breaks in i can start with throwing hot wax on their face. Lol

I am older now (35 but i get mid 20s all the time, cant say i think thats true), and have lost my bullshit filter, so I call people out often and hold them accountable now.

I have a graduate degree and went to 2 ivy league schools. I had a rough childhood, and as a result just naturally have a lot of depth. I rarely meet others who see me for who I really am - and any man who had an intuition to explore that and connect with me intellectually and emotionally and had the confidence to do so - I would make so many exceptions on when it comes down to physical appearance or what type of employment they have. Contrary to what other men believe about women who look as I do.

[u/Single_Objective549]

You're on reddit. How do you honestly think this is going to go?

[u/Top_Tier_Avoider → u/Single_Objective549]

Not honestly, I’ll tell you that

[u/nuplsstahp → u/Single_Objective549]

Reddit is mainstream now. I know successful and attractive people who are on reddit same as the discord mod cave goblins

[u/New-Value4194 → u/nuplsstahp]

So I might not be as ugly as I think?

[u/KookyTax98]

kids stare at you, older women are really nice to you, people in general want to be your friend, you get discounts, you get hired easily for people-facing jobs

some will hate you, like some guys will act guarded when they’re with their girl around you, or sometimes even girls who like having all the attention

girls my age either play hard to get because they think I’m a player, or every now and then are very aggressive.

[u/Intelligent_Green752 → u/KookyTax98]

The kids staring is always so funny to me 😂😂

[u/Far_Revenue_354]

I don’t think I am extremely attractive at all. But people commonly tell me how attractive I am and that people are intimidated by me based on how I look. I have had people very jealous of me throughout the years and I think that my partners tend to only go after me because of how I look and how it may improve their social status in whatever way. I have been incredibly lonely and want someone to love me for who I am inside. I think throughout the years I am not as skinny as I once was. I’m a size 4 now and I used to be a 0. I have a few more wrinkles and my hair is falling out. I think the world is messed up regardless of what you look like. If you get a job because of pretty privilege, it’s because there’s some gross man who gets off from just looking at you everyday. I’ve had men feel entitled to touch me and say disgusting things to me. My own fiancé felt entitled to touch me whenever he wanted. I don’t know I just feel like people want to own me sometimes. I mostly hang out by myself and my dogs now. I have a select circle of friends that I love because they love me for who I am and I don’t think I’d be here without them. It’s very important to me to look at peoples souls more than their outward appearance. 🙂

[u/A_literal_salt]

As a late blooming “handsome man”, it’s kinda weird. Like I no longer fly under the radar everywhere. Feels like there is a target in my forehead in public and people are always staring at me. At work I have people who just dislike me because I’m young, physically fit, and relatively good looking or whatever. Guys constantly call me “pretty boy” and stuff.

Honestly 8/10 experience it’s pretty weird sometimes though.

[u/ace_11235]

I used to be extremely attractive and was a model. It was awesome. And since I was a model, I hung out with a bunch of female models, which was also awesome.

Attractive people get better treatment, get free stuff all the time, and people assume we know what we are doing

I miss being that attractive. I’m still fine looking , but I’m also in my mid-40’s so…

[u/Heavy_Example_9863]

Girls hating on u for no reason, some people are super helpful just like that i literally got umbrella from random guys while i was walking around without it😹 this happens always. And then staring - many people just stares. Everyone think life is easier for me. People thinks I am too confident. And yeah u can make good money with no education with modelling and travel. This is just some lol hahahah

[u/unlvcondo4u → u/Heavy_Example_9863]

Save that money while you can! Age, gravity, and death spare no one.

[u/Maleficent-Sail247]

You’re getting confused what girl to go and stay with forever, they’re throwing themselves at you but if you’re a kind person you can’t immediately reject them because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You feel guilty abt staying with a lot of girls and now you can’t choose the innocent best girl because you’re too evil for such a girl.
You’re having your girlfriend in your side and there’s another girl setting a date with u.
You’ve had like lots of girls that you even forgot the count and their names but the only girl u will remember forever was the first ever relationship. This turns you into a toxic person eventually out of habit and automatically that you don’t even see yourself as it but you actually are fucking toxic - snakes have no idea they got fatal toxins carrying with them.

[u/phantom_gain → u/Maleficent-Sail247]

I found early on that I had to do quite a lot of work to avoid really nasty people. You walk into a room of new people and within 30 minutes all the women are acting weird and scared of you and one is being overtly flirtatious and familiar. The next time you meet any of them they are referring to you as that one girls boyfriend. And like you met them all at the same time. I have had to break up with quite a few girls that I never agreed to go out with in the first place. And they go bananas then too. For two years in college i was living with another very attractive guy and we had a real problem with girls we had litterally just met asking where we lived and calling over to the house to see if we were there.

I genuinely had to break up with a girl who decided that we were dating because i said to one of her friends that a different friend was cute. She thought i meant her, fair enough, but she went so far with it by the time i found out it had even happened that i couldnt just be a dick about it.

[u/bobbmain]

Ehhh I mean it’s ok overall. Worst part i think are the biased expectations that other people subconsciously set. Like yeah sure I’m attractive physically but I’m also a huge nerd. People are always so shocked when they realize both of those can exist and be true.

[u/gnashtyladdie]

I don’t know if ‘extremely’ is the correct adjective for me, but I’m a good looking man. I find people give me much more leeway, opportunity, and attention than others.

Just one example, I have come and gone many, many times from my job. I am always welcomed back with open arms, and everyone is happy when I return from an extended absence. I’ve seen many people try to do the same, and not had near the success. It has a bit to do with a good work ethic, but I’m sure being attractive has a bit to do with it as well.

[u/Hereseangoes → u/gnashtyladdie]

I am what women call attractive. I don't think I'm anything to write home about, but Ive been told that enough times and recently enough that I'll allow it for this convo. I will say that other guys will not like me just by looking at me. I'm disarming enough to get around it if I need to, but normally I don't feel the need. People can dislike me all they want. It does help at work I think. I read something at one point about attractive people getting promoted easier. All of my work relationships are great and the ladder is easier for me to climb than others, so anecdotally that seems to be true. I have dated women that think I'm more attractive than them and even with all the reassurances in the world a couple of them have just not been able to get passed it to the determent of the relationship. I hate that. 

[u/misteratoz]

My wife tells me about the darkness of realizing that her peak attractiveness from men occurred was when she was a younger teenager, say 13-16 where she had a gone through puberty but wasn't fully mature yet. She still gets hit on a lot when we go out now in her 30's but it was literally orders of magnitude more as a kid. That did a number on her.

[u/gullscall]

The more attractive, the fewer boundaries people perceive. Does not just apply to cis women. High conventional attractiveness brings massive opportunity, but also superficiality and opportunism and the worst side of many people around you. It’s a classic double-edged sword. You definitely learn people’s true selves and true motives quickly, though. Especially through DMs.

[u/DermRegalia]

Not me but my mother. She was a successful model in the 70s-80s and seems to have gotten away with literally everything in life. She seemed to really struggle as she aged and used to fly into fits of rage and jealousy as I can now recognise. She’s mellowed now. Also she’s quite “hardened” is the only way to describe it, she doesn’t trust men, or women, and has a cynical view of the world. Women have treated her very poorly.

[u/Johnmilkey]

A lot of people say hello and smile

[u/EffectHealthy1208]

It's hard to build sincere relationships. I am autistic, and I always thought people seem okay with that just because of my looks. I am the "quirky hot girl". It's fetichizing (I'm goth on top of that) and I feel misunderstood, especially when I struggle with social cues, loud noises, etc. 

Girls are mean for no obvious reasons, trying to convince me to cut all of my hair or wearing unflaterring clothes. But I've also found true sisterhood. I love when my girlfriends compliment me or ask me for fashion advice (i love making people feel beautiful). They don't feel threathened and they have no reason to be

In my daily life, I'm constantly harassed in the streets, shops, bars, except when i'm with my boyfriend. People assume my life must be easier because I'm attractive (they may not be entierely wrong). They assume that I'm confident, maybe even intimidating sometimes. The truth is that I'm incredibly hard on myself. Looking put-together is a way of protecting myself. It's an armour

[u/Soggy_View_4271 → u/EffectHealthy1208]

Ive had this experience multiple times, with girls trying to convince me to cut my hair off. I interned on an organic farm one summer and the other two farm hands were a couple. The girl tried so hard to get me to shave my head. I often wondered why they were stand offish with me- I found out later they spent all their time fighting about how she thought he found me attractive. What a shit summer it was.

[u/TheOriginalCharnold]

My Mom says im attractive, does that count?

[u/pennyclip]

I have at points been very fit and attractive. There are no downsides. Anyone saying otherwise has never been unattractive and experienced a downside.

Being unattractive has such massive downsides as a man it boggles the mind to compare your experiences between you with just 15 extra pounds and you 2 months later and no different personally.

The upsides aren't crazy. You get some initial attention, which for a man is very rare unless you are the most attractive one around. I am shy and I hate myself so it doesnt do much else.

[u/GreenVenus7 → u/pennyclip]

Your statement about no downsides made me assume you're a man before you even said it. People can be creepy (phrasing edit)

[u/666hmuReddit]

Ask your mom