r/AskReddit • u/AuthorConfident9386 • 13h ago

Men, what’s one small, seemingly insignificant thing you’ve noticed that can be a telltale sign of the difference between a genuinely good man and a bad one?

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u/WorldlyWillow3060 11h ago

Nothing brings out a 5,00-word philosophical thesis quite like asking Reddit to define morality based entirely on how a guy treats a shopping cart.

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u/BLT_Trade_r 10h ago

People need signs of whether someone is good or bad because testing it or witnessing it under real conditions is too rare and often comes too late. So it is understandable that people do this.

Anothe good post in here stated that how a person behaves in bad times says a lot more about them than anything. The problem is that impactful bad times that test a person are rare, and by the time you actually come across a real bad time that has a major impact, it is probably too late; you have already dumped years into a relationship, maybe you have kids or major financial investments together.

A great example is how many partners find out late in life when they get a major disease like cancer and their partner bails on them. You hear it all the time: we had a great relationship, etc... I can't believe they want to see other people or get a divorce.

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u/mini-hypersphere 7h ago

It is completely understandable that people need a litmus test to gauge someone's nature. It is a way to try to establish if someone is like us, or safe. No one wants to partner with or associate with someone who is abusive or has issues. But what ends up happening is these "tests" become akin to religious beliefs or horoscope stereotypes. And these beliefs become inseparable from the idea that life isn't black and white.

Personally, I 9/10 times return my shopping cart. Sometime I'm tired. Does the 1/10 time mean I am a bad person? I assume I am not. Does that assume others are destined to be bad partners or bad people due to not returning the shopping carte? I would say no, not enough to tell. Does it help if I said I worked that job when I was younger and I personally didn't care about the shopping cart being left anywhere? No not really.

This is my rant of me saying the Shopping Cart theory annoys me very much. It seems so arbitrary and yet taken to be true. Like the dumb "moist is a bad word, ew" debate.