r/AskReddit • u/AuthorConfident9386 • 13h ago

Men, what’s one small, seemingly insignificant thing you’ve noticed that can be a telltale sign of the difference between a genuinely good man and a bad one?

3.2k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

88% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.9k

u/reasimoes 12h ago edited 11h ago

Apparently that's what cause my wife attention to me. She said: it's funny how you treat the MC Donald's attendant the same way you treat your boss.

Apparently I was raised right. Anyways, that's very true.

Edit: wow, thanks for my first ever reward!

513

u/Eminem_quotes 10h ago

It's a fact. I always treat everyone as an equal or better than myself.

In real life anyway. I can be a real dick to some people on here, LOL.

I treat restaurant staff well, I don't judge or mistreat people who are doing what many people consider to be "lesser" jobs.

I hold doors for everyone, always say thank you and please to people.

I just try to remember that everyone may not be in a place in their life that they want to be , or even expected to be, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be shown respect.

It's not that difficult to do.

268

u/masterventris 10h ago

The whole lesser jobs thing is always bullshit.

If I am in a restaurant then the most valuable job anyone can perform right now is to serve me and cook my food. I don't give a shit about rocket science or cancer research while I'm waiting for my dinner!

71

u/RandomMandarin 9h ago

If you think the people picking up your garbage aren't important, let them go on strike for a month. You'll change your mind soon enough.

52

u/radlanrex 6h ago

Anyone who disrespects garbage workers is an idiot. First, those guys make good money, second they take away your garbage. WTF.

9

u/RJ815 8h ago

Doesn't even take that long. Whenever a holiday coincides with (or sometimes even is one day adjacent) to a trash pick up day, waste management in my area skips until the next pickup about half a week later. Even just THAT is enough to cause logistics issues with overflowing trashcans or even issues with food rotting / flies if it's sitting in heat, rain, etc. I live in an area that got hit by a horrible hurricane some years back and debris pickup was like 3 months behind, and it was a nightmare for residents and businesses. There was money lost to damage but then a lot more towards not even being able to have normalcy for months.

3

u/RollingMeteors 6h ago

people picking up your garbage aren't important,

u/pengweather is THE MOST fucking recognized username in the ENTIRE r/bayarea subreddit, by far, bar none.

3

u/tvtb 3h ago

Society would break down if the tubes (sewer) and trucks carrying away your crap/trash stopped functioning. It would just build up around people's homes. People will try to bury some of it with mixed success. It'll attract animals. It will cause disease.

69

u/Eminem_quotes 10h ago

Oh I agree 100% my friend.

I was just meaning how many people will act that way in some need to feel superior to others.

14

u/Bladelink 9h ago

Agreed. The whole world can't be made of 100% doctors and lawyers and astronauts and shit. The brain surgeon on his commute to the hospital still needs a breakfast burrito on the way, and that person deserves to be treated like a human still.

8

u/RJ815 8h ago

60-80% of people would crumble in a dinner rush in a busy restaurant. Yes tipping culture I understand the frustrations there, but I can tell you restaurants can have servers making $25-30+/hr (effectively) and still not keep staff all that long. It's very mentally demanding and that's IF management/coworker drama isn't bullshit and IF bad customers are relatively few. (I've worked as both a line cook and server and while server pays better, line cook is WAY less stress just knocking out expo orders and not dealing with troublesome or impatient customers.) Whenever I worked dinners even though I made good money I couldn't just "go to sleep" after, I'd be wound up even if it was a relatively smooth shift and I'd have to unwind from the fast pace and mentally demanding job. If understaffed a lot of times some tables would have to wait for me just because the process of bringing drinks, taking orders, and bussing food meant I was constantly on my feet moving from table to table trying to juggle it so that no one is waiting more than like 10 - 15 minutes at worst.

4

u/MrMan9001 10h ago

Yeah Ive never understood people who treat service workers like crap. If they all suddenly stopped working those same people would be bitching and moaning that nobody is making/serving them food. Guaranteed these are the same kinds of people who are all in on AI bullshit.

3

u/algy888 7h ago

And the dishes, I am so glad there is someone willing to do what is a very important job.

1

u/SuperFLEB 8h ago edited 8h ago

It's about power, I suppose. While they do have what you need right now, they typically have very little power to arbitrarily withhold it. The customer can't arbitrarily withhold their side of the deal, but they don't have the sort of behavior expectations and can withhold things like respect and politeness. Meanwhile, in any job, being "on the clock" typically means being a bit more formal and taking more shit. What's more, a customer-service position requires a person to interact with many people for a short time, meaning the person on the other end doesn't have a reputation to uphold either.

1

u/Hartastic 3h ago

I generally have a lot of respect for people who jobs that I think are important and/or want done, but that I don't personally want to do.

51

u/BunnyPhuPhu 9h ago

I always think of the quote: "Disrespect will close doors that apologizes can't reopen".

It has rung true in my life, and I live by always being kind.

1

u/Eminem_quotes 3h ago

Never heard that before but I like it.

22

u/TierOneCivilian 10h ago

People I work with are shocked that I know the janitor’s name.

31

u/Eminem_quotes 10h ago

The company I used to work for, the janitors were the coolest people there. I always told them their job was way more important than mine. Let them all quit and the place would devolve to anarchy so quickly.

13

u/RJ815 8h ago

Almost every single job wouldn't notice or would run smoother if certain admin / c suite people were gone, and vice versa many places would grind to a standstill if the entry level was gone. For certain small businesses if staff protest and stop showing up to work in unison it basically kills the business right there, as tons of managers/owners don't even know how to do the day-to-day work or otherwise see it as beneath them. With the economy this past year I've seen that happen to MULTIPLE small businesses trying to get one over their employees (usually wage theft), until they were gone entirely.

8

u/pagit 8h ago

At my wife’s company parties I end up talking to staff at the venue.

I just relate more to them to my wife’s president and CEO of the company even I can hold a conversation with them easily enough

1

u/chux4w 6h ago

If you work at Sacred Heart, that's a big deal.

3

u/2020mademejoinreddit 8h ago

May I just say that respect is not the same as common courtesy. The latter should be shown to everyone, the former is earned with actions.

3

u/Eminem_quotes 3h ago

That's where I disagree.

Respect should not have to be earned, It should be given until you're given a reason not too.

2

u/Dunder_Chief1 5h ago

I feel like you and I are very similar.

One thing that may set us apart is that I dont give buffer to ignorant fools that think they know more than they do.

There are few things more dangerous than someone that "thinks" they know what they are talking about.

1

u/RollingMeteors 6h ago

In real life anyway. I can be a real dick to some people on here, LOL.

Yeah, but those people aren't getting paid so it's OKAY. /s

5

u/OneManFight 9h ago

You blew the McDonald's attendant!??

2

u/puyongechi 9h ago

Yep you were raised right. Giving others respect by default is a sign that someone's a good person, and I always like to stay close to those people because I know I don't have to earn them treating me like a human being

2

u/TurboGranny 8h ago

This is also a documented behavior of autistic people. Hierarchy while recognized as a thing is ignored, and everyone gets the same decency.

2

u/ilikepizza30 2h ago

I treat the McDonald's guy better than my boss, the McDonald's guy could spit in my food. I'll smile with them and make sure they like me. My boss doesn't need to like me, just my work.

2

u/reasimoes 2h ago

You would be surprised how many people, in some degree, despises entry level job workers. I have been one in the past and I have suffered heaps of discrimination. I always told myself: that's just one sad mf, leave them be.

1

u/GhostGrom 10h ago

Damn I hate my bosses though 🤣

1

u/ArcticKimono 9h ago

I wouldn't yell at a mcdicks employee...

1

u/jrochkind 7h ago

I do that by just not treating my boss very well. (Kidding! Mostly! working on it!)

1

u/MrFluffyThing 2h ago

I caught a woman in her 50s working at Chick-fil-A off guard so much when she asked if we wanted any sauce by replying "no, but thanks so much for offering" that she had to state it's refreshing that someone was polite when answering instead of just a "no". It stood out to me that people must just act like assholes or indifferent to polite service compared to when I was doing the same type of job 20 years ago that it made a difference in that one interaction. 

3

u/reasimoes 2h ago

Here in Brazil we don't use the fuel pumps ourselves, there is a "frentista" for it. I remember one day I rolled down the window and the worker lady came to my car with a long face and I said: good morning, how you doing today?

Shit... She stopped for a couple seconds and told me: I have been 3 hours into my shift and you are the fist customer to "good morning" me and ask how was I.

Needless to say she smiled, was very friendly and thanked me for that. I mean, it took me 2 seconds and 2 "kind" sentences to make someone's day. I think that's just wrong.

3

u/MrFluffyThing 2h ago

Exactly how I felt. I was just happy to keep a smile and thank her for helping. I try to remind my son to be courteous and thankful even if it's not perfect. I pulled forward to a McDonald's window once and the employee started to hand the drink to the car behind me and I waved it off and said it was the wrong drink because I could see the color through the clear cup. The 20-something in the car behind me stuck his head out of his window and yelled "hey that's my order you r****d". It blows my mind that someone can be that callous to retail workers even if they make a simple mistake.

1

u/ptwonline 1h ago

For me I just try to follow the Golden Rule. Then things like being nice to people, picking up after yourself, putting carts away, not cutting people off in your car, etc become just a normal thing you don't even need to think about. I wouldn't like it if others did it, so I won't do it either.

1

u/SavvySillybug 1h ago

I love having friends in low places. It's crazy how nice people are to you when you're nice to them. Janitors, secretaries, lunch ladies, stuff like that. They go out of their way to be nice to me just because I treat them as humans.

For a solid two years in university I had a system with the cafeteria staff where I'd basically steal a coffee in the morning and then pay for it during lunchtime, honor system style. It started when one time I was genuinely too sleepy to comprehend how to buy a coffee and just walked out with it, and then came back and we had a good laugh about it.

After that I was like... hey these guys like me, and they don't usually staff the register in the morning, it's way easier for everyone involved if I just take the coffee and then pay for it alongside my lunch order later that day.

Never had any issues with that whatsoever.

One time in school when I had my first car, it was about three minutes to class, and there was no good parking available. I was gonna have to drive further away and park and then walk to school, making me a solid ten minutes late. As I drove past the school, the janitor waved me down. He got into his car right in front of the school and drove off, letting me have his spot. I got to class on time, it was awesome.

All for just treating him like a human being. Basic hellos and goodbyes and moving out of his way when he's carrying something.

Considering they had to lock up the toilet paper in the office because students kept throwing the whole roll into the toilet and putting the lid down before pissing on it, I guess treating him like a human was way more than he was used to...

I just assume everyone deserves respect until proven otherwise.

0

u/analyticaljoe 9h ago

Don't tell the redpill crowd. Their heads might explode.