r/AskReddit • u/AuthorConfident9386 • 13h ago

Men, what’s one small, seemingly insignificant thing you’ve noticed that can be a telltale sign of the difference between a genuinely good man and a bad one?

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44

u/CanniBal1320 12h ago

If their demeanor changes when women are around, especially attractive ones.

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u/UKWildcat13 12h ago

How does this indicate the prompt? People react to stimuli - unless their demeanor gets dark and weird or something.

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u/CanniBal1320 12h ago

You know the the kind of change where they suddenly appear a lot more 'polished', basically try their hardest to impress the woman without practically begging at their feet. Their political opinions, their views on women change, they suddenly go from raging misogynist to the perfect ally.

Basically mfs who would do anything for a crumb of pussy, if you catch my drift.

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u/n3rdfighte7 11h ago

Or they start to "tease" or attack and humiliate their friends in front of women.

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u/CanniBal1320 11h ago

Yeah this is a good one which I forgot to mention. They do anything to make themselves look better.

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u/LetReasonRing 10h ago

Also, going the other way, how some guys will talk to other guys when they think women aren't watching.

I have been in the presence of an attractive woman along with other guys who, when she is out of earshot, will say pretty creepy things about them, assuming that I'm thinking the same thing.

As a guy, there's quite a few men that I've quickly lost respect for because of their behavior immediately after having seen someone attractive.

11

u/MrEHam 12h ago

I don’t buy this one. I think there’s an under appreciation for people who adapt themselves to better get along with the present company.

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u/CanniBal1320 11h ago

Adapting to company is a whole different thing and in fact an admirable quality. What I m referring to is a bit more sinister/in bad faith.

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u/HalleLidner 12m ago

Why is it admirable, I don't understand. How do you trust someone who has so many different personalities and masks depending on who's talking? That's exhausting

17

u/ProcyonBright 11h ago

I’m a lady and was work-friends with this guy. Totally harmless, just a joke here and there and a hello in the break room in passing, that’s it. I knew he had a girlfriend who sounded really nice! At a work event, he and his girlfriend were there - dude totally changed in front her.  Straight up ignored me or  only gave me short, curt answers or responses, when his girlfriend was really engaging and nice. He extremely rude to me the whole time. Next day at work, it was like nothing even happened and he went back to normal, but I wasn’t having that and just stopped interacting with him.

Fucking weird. So yes, this is a thing. 

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u/MrEHam 11h ago

He might just know that gf is actually the jealous type and didn’t want any grief from seeming very friendly with you.

Or it could be something bad, not really a lot to go on here. It doesn’t sound y’all were close friends though.

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u/BLT_Trade_r 10h ago

Exactly, I suppose its fair to point out he is fake but the reality is many men have to behave differently around their woman. If woman think this is crazy surely many of them have had similar situations with a jealous or controlling man and they would excuse that same behavior in a woman.

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u/ProcyonBright 11h ago

We definitely weren’t close, but friendly. I do think it’s a red flag when you have to treat others poorly due to the person you’re with, though. Kinda signals bad judgement. 

Please don’t treat other people like shit because you have a “jealous” partner. 

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u/MrEHam 9h ago

I’d have to hear specifically how he treated you like shit. I think just getting quieter with short answers can be explained in other ways and isn’t necessarily mean.

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u/HalleLidner 11h ago

In general, if you see that a person is able to switch between multiple personalities and demeanor, that is a huge red flag. 

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u/Internal-Exercise940 6h ago

Its actually an indicator of high emotional intelligence which generally annoys and infuriates those with none

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u/HalleLidner 14m ago

No, it's a red flag if a man changes personality and behaviour just because a woman is around. He should be polite and kind with everyone, not just women he wants to f***. 

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u/MrEHam 9h ago

Maybe a lot of times but some people may have grown up around a lot of different kinds of people and developed different ways of communicating with them to help “grease the wheels”. It doesn’t mean they’re necessarily being fake. People can be complex.

I act different around my kids, wife, friends, parents, coworkers, friends, etc. I think it helps tbh.

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u/Ok_Duck_232 9h ago

where does adaptability to audience stops and multiple personalities starts though?

4

u/Beowulf33232 8h ago

Guy I work with got interviewed about his social health college course he teaches. It's a 20 minute podcast episode and he spends a decent chunk of the interview talking about being able to adapt to your audience to appear both more attentive and more sure of yourself. You don't talk to a store cashier the same way you talk to a trainee at work, or a stranger you're asking for help when you're lost. You should always be polite, but it means different things at different times.

Unfortunately I think it got delisted, I tried to share it the other day and the channel keeps resetting back to the main page when I hit the share button.

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/MrEHam 11h ago

If he’s rude to people he doesn’t want to fuck then yeah that’s pretty bad. If he’s just kinda normal or quiet with them but then comes alive when there’s a woman there he’s attracted to then I don’t really see that as a bad thing.

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u/Christ_I_AM 10h ago

The fuck? Some of us are just shy around baddies bro that doesn't make us bad people.

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u/CanniBal1320 10h ago

Being shy around baddies is not a problem and it isn't what I m referring too. Read the thread I have a couple replies explaining it.

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u/Particular-Beat-6645 11h ago

Whoa now, here now, you're throwing darts at high school football coaches and I want to make sure everyone notices.

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u/RonnyReddit00 10h ago

It was shocking for me to see this with people I knew from work, not my actual mates. 

It wasn't a little thing like they stopped saying swearing or toned down jokes it was they acted like a whole different person. Literally acting.

And they were usually horrible mysoginist guys of course.

1

u/Siege_LL 4h ago

This. Know a guy that's just kind of a jerk regularly but he puts on this act when he's interested in someone. Becomes a completely different person.

1

u/EnvironmentalDrag153 12h ago

Johnny to the rat hole!

1

u/Accurate-Ad4268 6h ago

I think this one is just a mix of what people think that dudes intentions are to be honest. As a son that was blessed with a loving mom, I tend to naturally appreciate the opposites genders company more so not even looking for anything.

Also I dont believe a lot of people (not saying you) fully understand just HOW brutal man on man verbal abuse can be lol but such is our society.