r/AskReddit • u/wuapinmon • 14h ago
Teachers/Instructors/Professors of Reddit, what's the craziest, most unfortunate, or just plain awful name you've ever encountered among your students?
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u/AmbitiousAd6602 14h ago
Had a classmate named G’Love pronounced JEE LUV but the yearbook always omitted the apostrophe so it looked like Glove each year
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u/Medical_Spy 10h ago
Did he have a friend called Special Sauce?
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u/PALOmino1701 11h ago
I am old. Knew a girl in high school in the 80s named Velvet Coffin.
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u/thefabulousbri 10h ago
I can see the appeal of the first name Velvet. But it is certainly not great if your last name is an object in the world. Velvet Coffin is a great name for an all black cat though.
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u/21stMonkey 8h ago
Tlok. Pronounced 'TeeLoak'. Pasty New England white kid. Dad was a child of the eighties, loved the rapper Tone Loc and Star Trek, thought the name evoked both.
Nice kid, called himself TJ.
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u/Automatic_Sky_3374 7h ago
I can’t even imagine having to explain “Tlok” every time someone took attendance.
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u/21stMonkey 6h ago
Homeschooled. But if he wasn't, he would have been proceeded in the same school by sister Sparrow and brother Johann... so imagine the teachers wouldn't have even blinked.
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u/Searching_Knowledge 5h ago
My immediate guess would’ve been fan of The Legend of Korra
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u/kasmackity 14h ago
Harry Sack. Used to be a board member at my family's old co-op
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u/CoderJoe1 10h ago
When I go to a barber shop and am asked to sign in to wait for a haircut, I always sign in as Harry Mann just to hear them call for me.
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u/wuapinmon 12h ago
Pronounced "Balls"
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u/Aromatic-Blackberry5 9h ago
I dated a guy once whose last name was Ball. He insisted that if he ever had kids they would be named Chrystal and Harry.
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u/ghoulsofthetrade 10h ago
There were a lot of guys named Harry Dick in Manitoba. There was also an Anita Dick... I wish I was making this up but it's in the yearbooks.
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u/PicklesBBQ 12h ago
Worked at an ice cream shop many years ago. The owner was Mr Nipple, his wife’s name was Rosie and his son was Chris P Nipple.
A couple of the girls working there couldn’t bring themselves to say his name, called him Mr Nippell instead, emphasis on the last syllable.
Come to think of it, it was appropriate he was in a dairy related business.
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u/moa711 11h ago
There is an OB in a town south of me with the last name Beaver. Dr. Beaver just doesn't sound right in that context, but it fits. Lol
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u/Necessary_Contest492 7h ago
That family really leaned into the dairy theme. I’d lose it every time I had to say “Chris P Nipple” out loud.
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u/NeonHairbrush 14h ago
It's not so awful, but I had a pair of brothers with the Korean names Ui Seok and Yu Seok - pronounced "we suck" and "you suck" in English. I recommended that they find English nicknames before moving to the Midwest USA for middle school.
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u/PleasantThoughts 12h ago
I went to school with a girl named Man Ho. She went by Mandy for obvious reasons.
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u/gringledoom 12h ago
I also had a classmate whose last name was "Ho". Wouldn't have been a problem except their first name sounded like an ethnic slur in English, and it was a class where the teacher took roll every day.
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u/MyDearDoctor 7h ago
I went to school with a Jackie Ho. Her nickname in the yearbook one year was "Jackie What?"
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u/wuapinmon 14h ago
Those would rough middle school names! I had a class at Georgia Tech when I was a student that had three guys from Korea, surname Park, who had all chosen "Steve" for their English name.
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u/claudeteacher 11h ago
I had a Kim Yu Seok in my class a dozen years back. Whenever I called attendance, I had to struggle not to laugh.
A few years later when he returned from mandatory military duty, I ran into him. He told me I was his favorite professor. He felt I was really friendly, obviously cared for him because every time I said his name, I smiled.
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u/GIDAMIEN 14h ago
I went to school with a guy named John Pettyjohn.
Now why do I consider this to be one of the worst names? I mean seriously how unimaginative were his parents? And if this is like a family thing like there's a John Petty John Sr etc etc. Honestly that just makes me want to slap them it is the most redneck nonsense I've ever heard my entire life.
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u/Chickengilly 13h ago
Petty officer John Pettyjohn?
Almost as good as Major Major Major. Major!
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u/Lakota_Six 13h ago
I met a Sergeant Sergeant once!
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u/neva-electra 11h ago
My mom knew a Dr. Doctor lol
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u/TourDuhFrance 13h ago
The candidate currently in second place in the polls for the Toronto mayoralty election is Bradford Bradford. He goes by Brad but his detractors love to use his full name.
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u/flyboy_za 13h ago
England football backs Gary and Phil Neville have a father named... Neville.
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u/fartingbeagle 11h ago
Wasn't that turned into a football chant to the tune of Bowie's 'Rebel Rebel ' ?
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u/RogueEmpireFiend 11h ago
There is also a politician named Dudley Dudley (though she originally had a different last name and married a Mr. Dudley.)
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u/somethingfilthy 11h ago
I knew a guy named Leonardo Leonardo. Guy tried to take over a whole dang town.
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u/wuapinmon 14h ago
I've had a John Johnson and a William Williams. Yours is worse.
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u/medzone17 14h ago
Not a teacher, but my grandma once had a student named Mary Christmas
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u/wuapinmon 14h ago
I went to elementary school with a girl named Jerry Christmas.
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u/titanium_rex 13h ago
I studied nuclear science with a girl named Christmas Jones
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u/courderoycakes 12h ago
My mom taught a Sitruc. His dad’s name was Curtis…
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u/godtierpikachu 8h ago
Had a 7th grader named Ben Dover, and i swear every sub had to bite their lip when roll got to him. The funniest part was the school photo label, it looked normal until you said it out loud, then the whole room lost it
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u/edgarpickle 13h ago
In 26 years, I remember:
Karizma Daenerys (her middle name was Khaleesi) Espn (pronounced Ess-pin) Shakina (rhymed with vagina)
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u/DaBorger 9h ago
I was teaching in Japan, so I had kids with names like Yudai (You Die), but I don't really count those because... because.
My brother was friends with a Chris P. Bacon in HS (they just called him Bacon), I had a college classmate named Chee Toh, and my great-great-aunt Mary married into the Christmas family, but that was a choice she made.
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u/yokizururu 4h ago
Yeah I taught in Japan too and tutored a girl named Miho who studied abroad in the US. She very quickly adopted the nickname "Molly".
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u/dirkdiggler2011 7h ago
Simian
It means apelike or relating to apes or monkeys.
The scenario that you thinking of where this would be an unfortunate name is also true.
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u/Charles_Chuckles 4h ago
My husband went to school with a dude named Simian (white kid) that we played Ultimate Frisbee with sometimes. When he told me I was like "🤨 IS that some kind of joke nickname?" And he said "No?" And I said "His parents named him 'monkey'?!" And he said "Ah, no. They're just very religious" 😅 Which explains me not getting the Biblical/Old Testament reference because my family was the very opposite of religious lol.
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u/i-am-pepesilvia89 8h ago
I had a classmate named John Jacobs (kids song) we were in high school. He got teased but took it in stride.
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u/NobleKorhedron 8h ago
Let me guess; John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?
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u/POKECHU020 8h ago
Holy shit, that's my name too
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u/wuapinmon 8h ago
People always shout it at you, huh?
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u/Corvid_minded 12h ago
Not a teacher but used to check IDs at a former job. Met an "Angel Hunter" as well as a middle-age man with the middle name "Bruce Lee"
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u/welshcake82 8h ago
I used to work for Housing Benefits in a large UK city- my favourite was Barrington Ice the Third
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u/Hippadoppaloppa 7h ago
I'm sure I used to work in a place that insured his car, that name rings all kinds of bells!
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u/Sudden_Bike_5063 10h ago
Subbed an elementary class. Had a kid named Flynn and his middle name was Rider, he seemed really embarrassed about it when he told me, but I told him my name is Belle and that I related to him. Really sweet kid, he seemed to feel much better when he knew he wasn't alone.
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u/ants-in-my-plants 3h ago
I’ve met a child with the first name Flynn-Ryder 😭 Not even first and middle
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u/Living-Estimate9810 9h ago
What's wrong with "Flynn"? Or "Rider", for that matter? "Belle" is lovely - almost exactly!
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u/katielyn4380 9h ago
MMC in Rapunzel/Tangled was Flynn Ryder. Elementary kids are main audience for Disney films so kiddo def made that connection.
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u/Atomic0691 6h ago
Belle is the name of the main character in Beauty and the Beast, another Disney movie, which is why they were able to commiserate.
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u/Lakota_Six 13h ago
Not a teacher, but work a lot with kids.
Theodore David Bare (Teddy Bare). He went by David.
Luke Sky Walker
Hailey Ann Marie [last name] Halley Ann Michelle [last name]. Not twins.
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u/wuapinmon 12h ago
Honestly, as 70s-80s kid, Luke Sky Walker is dang cool!
Also, I had a class once when I was a professor that had two Erin Marie Jensens in it. They kinda looked the same. One was married, so we had "Erin Casada" and "Erin Soltera" in class.
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u/NetworkSingularity 4h ago
I just commented above, but I wonder if we met the same Luke. The one I knew was the son of my fifth grade teacher
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u/tommarvolo124 13h ago
Last name parts in the army
Quite unfortunate for them
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u/WordWizardNC 6h ago
We knew a naval recruit whose last name was Guzzler. She was held back, then promoted past Seaman rank.
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u/kathatter75 11h ago
A restaurant I used to go to with my ex…we had waitresses named Mahogany and Cinnamon.
The time Cinnamon was our waitress, it was a Saturday afternoon and quiet, so we chatted with her a bit. I asked her what it was like growing up with a stripper name (she laughed). She said her dad put it on the birth certificate as a joke…but it got turned in…and all her life, she and her mom used it to make it “Dad’s fault” when she did something wrong. “I wouldn’t be a teen mom if you hadn’t given me a stripper name”
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u/comedydave15 13h ago
Not a teacher, but the kid that got the most abuse at school purely for their name was probably Richard (Dick) Skinner 🤣
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u/SuLiaodai 11h ago
I taught a guy whose name means "No" in the local language. I didn't dare ask him how he ended up being called that because I couldn't imagine it would be good.
I also taught a girl whose name meant "Next time have a boy." She was named by an angry grandfather.
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u/expostfacto-saurus 8h ago
My cousin named his son "Bane."
No idea why. My cousin was a dumb jock, not into comics or even batman movies. My guess is he just heard it and thought it sounded cool. I don't have the heart to give either of them a dictionary so they can look up the meaning of the name, or even a comic so he can find out he's a weird super villain.
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u/Neronafalus 7h ago
Hey hey now....Bane is ALSO the sith lord who wiped out the old Sith order and established the rule of two in star wars, so...
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u/expostfacto-saurus 6h ago
As a Star Wars nerd and as a nerd that has read that novel, I am ashamed. LOL
Fairly certain he's not a Star Wars nerd either though. I wonder if there was a famous football player/coach with the name maybe.
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u/imaginary_gerl 7h ago
My mom was a teacher and she had a student named Kisma Love Button
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u/fubo 6h ago
I worked in IT at a small college in the late '90s. One thing we had to do every year is generate email accounts for all the new students. We typically used "first name + last initial" for usernames, so John Smith would be johns; if a username was already taken, add the year of entry: johns99.
Then we got a student named Ana Lawrence.
I believe we gave Ana the account name alaw instead of the autogenerated anal.
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u/wuapinmon 4h ago
I worked at a small college that did the jsmith format. They wouldn’t change it for anyone. Sarah Odom had a rough email.
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u/NetworkSingularity 4h ago
Not from when I was teaching, but my fifth grade teacher, Mr. Walker, was a huge Star Wars fan.
He named his first son Luke Sky Walker.
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u/debholly 14h ago
Chlamydia. Her parents thought it was pretty.
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u/owlBdarned 8h ago
I'm a vacuum, I think it could make a cute name. But, y'know, it has a meaning...
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u/TorinD 7h ago
These smart vacuums getting on Reddit and commenting are wild man.
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u/Narrow_Lake_9651 14h ago
John Hough, who insisted on being called " Jack ".
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u/wuapinmon 14h ago
I worked with a professor named Richard Swallow who went by, no shit, Dick.
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u/Life_Discussion2540 13h ago
Winston Red
Had to do a double take when I was checking their submission.
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u/Penyrolewen1970 12h ago
I knew a kid called Tron. I asked him about it and he said it was a Scandinavian name. I asked if he had any links to that area.
“Nah, my dad just liked the film.”
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u/DerAlliMonster 11h ago
Darion Grey. I have never worked up the courage to ask parents if they read the book.
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u/ArmouredFlump 11h ago
Not me, but my uncle taught a Justin France. All the other kids called him Calais.
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u/crosleyxj 8h ago
Went to HS with Spring Plowman and Rocky Plants. His father was Forrest Plants. Seriously
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u/Teacherforlife21 7h ago
As a teacher, the most ironic was a 75lb dripping wet, 4th grader named Crush. He couldn’t crush a cupcake.
In my own school days I had a classmate named Anita Couch.
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u/Reasonable-Cow7255 10h ago
My father served in the military in WWII. When I was a young teacher, he happened to see my class roll sheet and reacted to a name on the list: Latrina. He said, “Why would anyone name a child LATRINE?! That’s like calling your kid sh*thouse!”
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u/ChankleyBore 8h ago
I had an uber driver named LaTrina the other day. Took every bone in my body not to make the joke.
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u/Trebuchet_boom 14h ago
Mike Hunt.
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u/Ill_Refrigerator_593 14h ago
I literally had a teacher of this name.
(Although he called himself Michael)
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u/Penyrolewen1970 12h ago
I know one, too. He goes by ‘Mike’.
He says, that way, it’s right out there straight away. Nobody clocking it later, no slow realisation.
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u/Ill_Refrigerator_593 9h ago
Tbh although we gave a lot of teachers shit he never got much.
Reminds me of Choksondik in South park where the kids completely fail to clock her name.
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u/SunkenSaltySiren 14h ago
I knew a Mike Hunt!!!!
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u/brodievonorchard 14h ago
I knew a Dick Hertz.
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u/Cclay111 10h ago
I've known a Richard Burns, Richard Head & Richard Creme https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/richard-creme-fashion-manchester-dies-14381786, though they were all called something else. Only taught the first two but knew the third one.
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u/wuapinmon 14h ago
I had a boss once, an Army veteran, who was named Mike Unsworth, and he didn't go by Michael.
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u/Icy-Inspection-2971 14h ago
Went to high school with a girl named Candy Hamm.
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u/safetyindarkness 11h ago
Worked in an administrative office at a school.
Funniest: twins named Sandy and Dustin
Tragedy: Destyknei (pronounced Destiny)
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u/Maleficent-Pear8248 9h ago
My bestie was a teacher in Florida (because of course).
The first one: Pepsi.
Second one, pronounced ab-sih-dee. Spelled: Abcde
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u/Edward_the_Dog 13h ago
Sirjohn, because as the mother pointed out, "ain't nobody going to speak to my child without saying 'sir' first."
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u/MyFavoriteInsomnia 12h ago
I knew a Sir Anthony. His mother insisted peolle call him Sir Anthony but when she wasn't around, he asked people to please just call him Anthony.
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u/Mont-ka 11h ago
The Mr T school of naming. It's so sad that became such a memory for so many people that they literally had to build respect into their name.
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u/welshcake82 8h ago
I met a little girl called Queen Esther- she was only in nursery snd staff did use the full name. This is in a fairly rough part of South Wales. My second favourite is Dotty Otter.
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u/amanib26 12h ago
I have a student named J-Dragon and a friend of mine had a student named Twinkle Cross.
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u/Mechaborys 11h ago
I grew up with a man named Green Grey. Not sure if it was name on birth certificate or what but defiantly weird name. he was probably named in the 1920's or so.
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u/Chaotic_Goodish 8h ago
I have a boyfriend in high school named Chris Burger. Middle name started with a P. Chris P. Burger
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u/SignificantBoot7180 7h ago
There was a Dick Smalls in the grade ahead of me. The other day I met a kid named Havoc. I've also encountered a Danger and a Destroy.
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u/IndyMan2012 13h ago
Had a kid in one of my training classes named Aryan... Pronounced it Ar-yan. I was like "Are you sure?"
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u/Atharaphelun 13h ago
Very common South Asian and Iranian name. From Sanskrit arya and Old Persian ariya, which means "noble".
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u/IndyMan2012 12h ago
Yeah, I get that, but it hits differently when it's a white kid from rural Indiana with the name lol
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u/dbraba01 13h ago edited 10h ago
I had a football coach whose last name was Peters. His wife’s name was Sharron. We always had to do extra conditioning
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u/Muted_Rain8542 10h ago
not a teacher but I went to school with a girl named sterling silver in elementary school, as well as a kid who’s name was a mix of his parents names (melanie and jay)
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u/Remote-Astronomer701 10h ago
Not a teacher but while in college I remember someone with the surname: Loser.
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u/RMW91- 14h ago
I went to elementary school with a Brent Bacon, of course we called him Burnt Bacon. Not terrible, but he transferred…