Oh. Reading this explains somethings going on with me now.

Thank you.

Happy birthday!!

In 2023 I was hit by a person, we'll call them Gail. Gail was speeding, ran a red right, while wearing ear buds, she was 50s, so full-ass-grown-adult-brain.

I don't actually remember much but I remember what the 7 different witnesses have said. Gail hit my van so hard that had my child been in the car seat behind me, instead of in a vehicle following me, my child would have died. My other two on the opposite side of the van were okay other than some minor whiplash (shout out to Britax). My spouse has spine issues from it.

I have permanent brain damage but I no longer have temporal seizures, I lost 2 years of my memory, I lost skills like chess. I need 2 more surgeries possibility 3 to fix what it did to my body. I already had the surgery to place the bone grafts for an artificial joint. Gail hit the van so hard right by my seat that in addition to the concussion, it tore all the ligaments in my knee and destroyed all the cartilage and did some weird fractures in one of the lower leg bones. I had to re-learn how to walk on my left leg. The steps are no longer automatic. I also need surgery for my shoulder which has 2 tears in the rotator cuff, a torn tendon that is hanging on by a painful AF thread, another tear something about a labrum? If I remember correctly and something about cartilage.

I already hit my PIP limit and blew through the under insured motorists protection. I have always carried excellent insurance.

It doesn't matter. We've been going around on this for 3 years.

Our medical insurance company doesn't want to cover anything from the accident once it's finished with the lawyer but there's no money to finish putting me back together so I can't get the medical care I need either way.

There will be no settlement and Gail has nothing to go after.

Even with what insurance covered, we will be financially ruined if I get the medical care I desperately need, even with our decent medical coverage.

Thanks Gail for destroying my life with your irresponsible, selfish choices. Thanks Pemco for barely (maliciously), kind of, doing your job? Thanks progressive for selling her a policy that was useless except to make her technically legal to drive.

Wow.

I am so sorry.

You deserve better.

That is so messed up. I am upset that she would treat you like that. The cruelty and lack of humanity is absolutely mind-boggling.

If you like and consent to hugs, then, I send you a big, huge, mom hug. All my friends say I give good hugs and my kids constantly want hugs, so I think I'm qualified.

We got our house in the spring of 2016. Completely on our own.

It burned down during covid. Insurance screwed us partly because of covid pricing. We're renting now and I absolutely hate it.

I am sure you look gorgeous. Ignore her.

My mom always compared me to my friends which were usually slimmer than me. I've been a US size 14/16 since puberty (I was a 6 before, thanks PMOS) and I'm not tall. My grandma liked to nit pick about my weight and other things too.

I used to say I had a great mom after disclosing things like that.

My therapist made me defend my stance. I did not win.

I was already no contact with the majority of my family, denial kept me clinging to my mom. She's now kept at arms length, I love her but as a mom I ask myself WTF?

I've been married to my wife for 16 years together for 20, she's been out to me for 2.5 years and on HRT a year. Although I saw her egg several years before that.

I love having a wife. We're so much better together now. Now our kids just have two moms.

She sounds like she was an absolute treasure.

Hugs if you like them.

My parents don't get it either.

I hope her funeral is packed with the community she built and loved. I hope you all share your memories of her with each other.

There is no shame in grieving, especially if it's out of love for someone.

Safety.

It boils down to that.

I'm finally finding fleeting moments of what that feels like at 37, my nervous system is healing. There's no before to go back to so I will build myself a way out from the broken bits of the cage they built for me that I destroyed

It sounds good when I put it like that but really, it's all just doing my best while being a mess.

I am so sorry.

https://giphy.com/gifs/EvYHHSntaIl5m

Ditto.

I am so sorry that she did that to you.

I am so glad you have safe people to talk to.

Therapy helped me a bit but honestly talking to the safe people around me, my friends and wife were the biggest help.

I will admit that 30 years later I still have a bad day here and there, it's okay. Sometimes you'll find an unexpected or unavoidable trigger, lean on your safe people and know that you will get through it.

This is Her obituary, in case anyone else wants to read about this amazing woman gone too soon.

Munjot Sahu Feb 10, 1984 — Feb 20, 2023 Zionsville, Indiana Munjot Sahu—beloved mother, wife, and daughter, successful attorney, and valued member of the Zionsville community—died unexpectedly on February 20, 2023. She was 39.

Munjot was born in the Hyde Park area of Chicago on February 10, 1984, and moved to Greencastle, Indiana, in 1988 when both her parents became faculty at DePauw University. As a child, Munjot became a proud big sister, and was active in 4-H. Munjot moved to Indianapolis in 1997, where she attended Ben Davis High School and was a powerhouse on the school’s debate team; she participated in the National Debate and Speech Tournament.

Munjot subsequently matriculated at Oberlin College, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in politics, with honors. She made several lifelong friends there, and accumulated a catalogue of stories about the quirky campus life. Munjot considered pursuing graduate studies in politics but ultimately decided to attend law school, enrolling at the Indiana University School of Law, in Bloomington where she graduated cum laude.

Soon after earning her JD, Munjot joined the law firm of Baker & Daniels (now Faegre Drinker), in the business litigation practice. Litigation was her professional passion, and she worked on high-profile cases, including representing Marsh Supermarkets in a lawsuit against its former CEO. Munjot next became in-house counsel at Eli Lilly and Company in its litigation group, after which she joined Roche, as Senior Counsel in Diabetes Care. Munjot published numerous articles in legal publications, served on the American Bar Association’s Mass Torts Litigation Committee, and was a member of Lawyers for Civil Justice.

Munjot set and attained high professional goals, but above all she was a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. She met James Updike in 2014. They took their first vacation together that summer, to Washington, DC, and Munjot first got to see and make fun of her companion’s packing habits, which involved fully utilizing the airline’s free baggage for service members benefit. Munjot and James became engaged in 2015 at Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, and they were married May 21 and 22, 2016, with dual ceremonies at Zionsville United Methodist Church and the Hindu Temple of Central Indiana.

In 2019, Munjot gave birth to her son, Kieran, whom she covered in an immeasurable amount of love, giving everything she had to make him feel loved, happy, and healthy.

Munjot was a diligent planner who poured her heart into every pursuit, from wedding planning to designing her house to researching the safest car seat and even the best grass trimmer. As Munjot and her husband built a life together in Zionsville, she constantly went above and beyond to make life wonderful for other people. Decorating and design were among Munjot’s top interests, and she relished putting these passions to use making a home for her family. She frequently said she someday wanted to start a design and home staging business.

Munjot was very involved in her community, most recently serving as a trustee for the Tarkington Civic Theatre in Carmel. She was previously a board member of the Scene at the Palladium in Carmel. She gave back to the community through pro bono work on guardianship cases and with the Wills For Heroes program. Munjot and her family attend Gurdwara Gur Nanak Darbar and Zionsville United Methodist Church.

Please, dump him, you deserve a partner, not a hindrance.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dB12mOQb99BwDlM83I

Thank you.

You're right.

I'm the only daughter but not the oldest child.

This year, soon after the new year, I chose myself and the family I made. I'm 37.

I have met some grandmas with some serious gender envy issues and aunts and sisters. I don't get it. My grandma had an issue with me but it wasn't my vagina.

My mom's mom wanted me to have blue eyes; this is what I constantly heard growing up from my grandma:

You'd be beautiful if only you had blue eyes.

I was 4 going on 5, the first time I remember her saying it and it sinking in. My cousin from her other daughter has blue eyes, guess who the favorite was.

Her husband, my wonderful grandpa, who survived the beach at Normandy; passed his eye color, an ever changing brown, from my mom to me. Eyes, I would wished could be beautiful the majority of my life. I wouldn't find them beautiful until 8 years after his passing when I passed that eye color on to my oldest and realized they were always beautiful.

Every kid needs at least one engaged and present parent. Two is better I'm sure.

A dad isn't a necessity, a parent willing to walk along side during the journey and share wisdom or help shoulder the heavy loads is important, what you call that person is less important than the relationship.

We use mom and dad interchangeably in our house at this point. I birthed our children and primarily use she/her pronouns but my kids have started referring to me as dad at random. I don't mind.

My wife MTF 42 goes mostly by mama, mummy but still gets dad sometimes.

It's just a title that we give someone.

I wish my mom had left my dad. You don't need a dad in a relationship, you need two people working towards the common goal of creating a person capable of living in this insane world, hopefully a kind, understanding, boundary having person.

My kids are better off with two moms.

They are better off with two people that are finally getting to be themselves rather than wasting energy trying to fit in a box issued by society.

Honestly, I have the habit of buying everything for my wife and kids but I still struggle to get anything for me, it makes me feel selfish.

I like to buy the jalapeño cranberry dip from Costco. That is my me thing, I guess.

We make our kids read. It has definitely confirmed our daughter's dyslexia which is a different form than my own.

We are doing our best to create readers and good people.

I remember doing the SSR, I now do it willingly as an adult.

This not okay.

This is abuse.

Please, you deserve better.

I'm also glad the IVF didn't work.