I (F38) have had large earrings (14mm) since I was a teenager. A while back, I was at a gathering with multiple friends and our kids. One of the kids, who was about 12-14, asked me if it hurt to stretch my ears. Her mom immediately jumped in and said, “yes it hurts a whole lot”. I said, “no actually if you do it slowly and correctly, it really doesn’t hurt at all. It’s just really important that you do it right.”

The mom, who’s a friend of my friend and…sort of my friend but more of an acquaintance was visibly annoyed at me for this interaction. The subject was changed rather quickly by another friend and we moved on.

My issue is primarily that I don’t lie. But also that if a kid thinks it’s supposed to hurt, then they won’t know there’s a problem if they start to stretch their ears and it hurts. That could cause them to experience serious damage where they otherwise wouldn’t. I know several people who’ve had that experience, and I thought it would be irresponsible of me to be dishonest about this situation in the moment, given the possibility of a painful outcome for the child.

At the same time, I feel bad because it really should’ve been obvious to me in the moment that the mom wanted to deter her child from making the choice to stretch their ears and the child was young enough that their mom really did have that power over them. I’m autistic so I think this may be a situation where I grossly misread things and I would like to know if I should apologize.

Hi Reddit. I’m hoping coming here will give me some clarity on a situation thats happen recently.

A little back story: I (24f) have a serious long distance boyfriend (23M). We have talked about weddings and proposals so I know one is coming sometime in the future. But right now… WE ARE NOT ENGAGED.

Anyways. I went to a wedding yesterday of a friend and her now husband. I was having fun chatting around with some mutual friends, dancing, and having a few drinks. Literally it was a good night until the bouquet toss. I figured I would stay up to catch the bouquet bc I’m not married and the whole “hahah maybe my ring will come soon” and i literally had two girls I was hanging out with tell me to stay up and catch the bouquet bc I’m not married. So I stayed to catch the bouquet.

Also i thought catching the bouquet meant “the next to get married”? Maybe I was wrong. This was the second wedding I have been to.

So by the title. I caught the bouquet and was holding it up all happy. Until the bride came over and said something along the lines of “what are you doing up here? You’re literally getting married next week! We need to do a redo”. Loud enough that everyone could hear. I’m not getting married next week…..

I was just in an absolute shock I couldn’t say or do anything. They had the flower girl do the re-throw and someone else caught it. After the whole thing I was fighting off tears and gathered my stuff and quietly left. I didn’t want to cause a scene or anything.

When I got home I called my bf and bawled in the phone bc I didn’t understand why I was in the wrong. He told me I wasn’t and even someone else at the party said I wasn’t in the wrong but idk if they are being bias.

So…. AITA?

I was out for a quick coffee run last weekend when my friend Alex called me in a panic. She asked if I would text her partner Michael and say we had been hanging out at my place the whole evening. I knew she had been with someone else, and I did not feel like covering for her again. I told her no, that I was not going to lie for her, and then I put my phone away. She left a bunch of messages, some of them calling me selfish and saying I was putting her in a tough spot on purpose. Michael texted me later asking if Alex had been with me, and I simply said I had not seen her that night. Now Alex says I threw her under the bus and that real friends stick together. I feel like I have covered for her enough times already and I am tired of being the one who smooths things over. Still, she keeps insisting that keeping quiet would not have hurt anyone and that I could have just stayed out of it. I am not sure whether staying silent would have been the kinder move or if I was right to be straight with Michael.

My mother is old (70s) but had a good relationship with my ex husband and was friendly (not quite friends) with my ex mother in law.

I am in my 50s and have 4 adult children with my ex. My mother told me she invited my ex husband, his current wife and my ex mother in law for a coffee / tea at her place. I was obviously gobsmacked given that my ex and I did not have a good divorce and my mother knows what he has been saying about me to people. I got mad at her and told her that what in the word was she thinking? I understand maybe inviting my ex but his current wife? We got into a fight and I haven’t talked to her since and have been ignoring her calls.

Her reasoning was that she does have a good relationship with all her children’s exes and that he is the father of four of her grandchildren after all. I’m actually very hurt. I shared this with my friend and she said that it’s my mother’s house and she can invite whoever she wants. This got me thinking if I’m maybe being dramatic over this whole situation. My friend was also good friends with my ex husband so I want to know a third person’s opinion on this matter.

Adding more info: (copy paste of my reply to a comment - with typo edited)

So my husband divorced me out of nowhere. No prior fight, no nothing. Just one day he decided he wanted to divorce me. Even at the proceedings he didn’t give a proper reason.

He has been telling our mutual friends and family that I was a bad mother and neglected his needs. He is a very traditional man and wouldn’t get a glass of water by himself. And I was a stay at home mom of 4 kids. The kids are very close in age (a year or two apart). I dropped everything, my job, career for my kids. My adult kids also hangs out with me on the daily now but does not talk much with my ex so I don’t understand how I am a bad mother when none of my kids have said it.

He’s also telling people that I should give him back all the money he spent on me while we were married (he is struggling financially now) also talking about our sex life and things i obviously wouldn’t want anyone else to know. These stories have reached my kids too which sucks.

+ also about the current wife, I have no personal issue with her. She’s not rude to me or my kids. This is the second woman he has been with since our divorce. He got together with her 3-4 months after our divorce so I can’t say that he was cheating on me with her or not.

Edit #2: ok I’m adding another edit to add more information: my mother has a very social life. She has lots of friends and family that’s over constantly. I live next door so I am over all the time as well. There’s almost never a time where people aren’t over. My mother also has a lot of pen pals she’s on the phone with. I have deliberately not moved away just so my mother is close enough if she needs me.

My ex husband and my divorce finalized in January 2025. He got remarried in September 2025. My ex also badmouthed our children in court just to portray me as a bad mother. I shared all of this with my mother. And she knows this.

I'm 26M and my sister is 22F. She moved in with me about 7 months ago after things got bad with her roommate.

I agreed because I figured it would only be temporary. We never really discussed an exact date for her leaving, but she told me she was already looking for another place.

At first it was fine. She helped with groceries and we'd hang out sometimes.

Over the last few months though, I feel like I've slowly become her caretaker.

She doesn't clean unless I ask. She leaves dishes around, uses my stuff without asking, and I've had to remind her several times about bills. She also stays up extremely late and wakes me up when she comes into the kitchen at 2 or 3am.

I've talked to her about it multiple times, but nothing really changes.

Last week I told her I think she needs to move out within the next month.

She started crying and said she thought I actually wanted to help her. She said she can't afford a place right now and that I'm putting her in a terrible position.

My parents are angry with me too. They say she's my sister and that I should be willing to let her stay until she's financially stable.

I told them I'm not kicking her out tomorrow. I'm giving her a month to figure something out.

Now my sister says I'm treating her like a burden and my parents keep telling me I'm being selfish.

I feel guilty because I know she's struggling, but I'm starting to resent having someone else in my home.

AITA for deciding that one month is enough?

I have a 9 year old, 5 year old, and 1 year old. There are a few things I have "banned" in my house.

I had a few family members reach out and ask for ideas to get the kids for their upcoming birthdays and holidays. On top of those things, I had asked for a few things to be avoided:

\-Slime (self explanatory)
\-make up (my girls are too young, plus one has skin allergies that we'll have to consider when buying products)
\-candy (i haven't had the best luck with family sticking with certain brands or steering away from certain things, so I tell people to avoid buying it in general.)

I was told by a grandparent that I'm taking the fun out of childhood and making it hard to buy for them with these 3 exceptions. I told them many other things they like, are interested in and need but these 3 things apparently make that difficult.

AITA in this situation or am I really this much of a buzzkill?

I went NC with my aunt years ago, but my sister, while also NC with said aunt, still reads her blog.

Apparently, my aunt saw a post from a fb group specifically for alumni who have passed, to informing people of a fellow HS album's death. this person had a name that is close to mine, and my aunt thought is was me. even asked a coworker of this deceased album's husband if it were true. Then made an entire post about my death and how me and my sisters grew apart and don't talk to or see each other since out mom's death in 2015 (we get together for Thanksgivingevery year and talk all the time. i am also constantly talking to my other aunts all the time, we're very close).

I am so tempted to not only read this blog entry for myself, but to call her out on all the lies she tells. but then the other part of me is like " let her think I'm dead".

one of my sisters ( who does still talk to this aunt), said I should at least leave a comment saying it's not me, because not doing so is just cruel. but my sister who is also NC with her says that I have no obligation to correct her because there is a reason a majority of the family is NC with her, and even if it were true that I had passed, she would still find a way to play the victim for not being informed.

My friend and I (both early 40s) are planning a vacation and she really wants to do a cruise. I go a couple times a year and she has only done a short one day type over a decade ago. She has a toddler and I am child free. The thing is she is kind of a germaphobe and has been watching videos on what to avoid, what to bring, and cruise tips. She's talking to me about bringing her own bedding, cleaning supplies, not using the pools, buffet or ice cream machine. Some of the ports she doesn't want to leave the ship for safety concerns and says she won't use the kids club for her kid and says we can just watch him, which I get the drink package so don't want to watch a kid on my vacation. I told her if she can't relax about things and wants to worry about every little thing than maybe a cruise isn't for her. Now she is mad at me saying she thought this was for us to have fun and not for me to get plastered and leave her. I don't get plastered but do like to drink on cruises to help me be more social and participate in the games and dance classes. I would help watch her kid but don't want to spend 7 days chasing and entertaining him because that does not sound like a vacation. So, AITA for saying that or should I suck it up and just go. We have not put down deposits and are strictly looking right now.

Last night I decided to order something from doordash. Before ordering, I specifically asked her if she wanted anything and she said no since she ate before getting home.
Cool. I ordered myself a meal.
When the food arrived, she started picking fries off my plate. I told her to stop because those are my fries lmao.
A couple turned into probably half my fries.
Then she asked for a bite of my sandwich.
I said no.
She got annoyed and said I was being selfish and that she shares her food all the time.
I essentially told her well that sucks, and if she wanted food she should’ve ordered food when I asked her.
She said I was making a huge deal out of nothing and went and made herself a sandwich.
Now she’s barely talking to me because apparently I’m “weirdly possessive” over food.
I genuinely don’t think I’m wrong because I literally asked if she wanted food beforehand.

I (24f) live with my father, who takes it upon himself to try and help the people he knows/knew and considers friends or family. ~1 month ago, he reconnected with a former friend that happens to currently be homeless. Out of kindness, my dad offered him some work, mostly helping with manual labor needed in our yard/with my dad's detailing business. He also offered for this friend to sleep on our back porch during storms, bc our area has been getting a lot recently. This man told my dad he's been sober from substances after becoming homeless due to prior hard drug and alcohol abuse. My dad himself is 41 years sober from all substances and was very happy to hear that his friend was doing better.

Flash forward to last week when my dad walked into the backyard and found the man passed out with a bottle of vodka in his hand. When my dad woke him up, he was belligerent and essentially took off running. It was then my dad realized that the man had basically trashed our backyard with cigarette butts, food wrappers, alcohol containers, etc and had old, moldy food in the mini fridge my dad had set up on the porch specifically for him to keep things in. I've told my dad that I'm uncomfortable being alone at the house while this man is just sitting on the porch (and occasionally coming inside to use the bathroom or heat up his food in the kitchen) and my dad kindly asked him to only come by when he was home or if it was storming. This man has ignored this request repeatedly, to the point where I felt uncomfortable in my own home and called my bf to come over so I wasn't alone.

All this to say, my dad is leaving for a trip in a few days and will be gone for a week. He's said that he's done letting the man stay on the porch and has told him to get his stuff and get out, but there are still belongings on our porch that belong to him, so I'm not hopeful. My dad said that if I have any issues, feel unsafe, or just don't want the man there, to call the police and have him trespassed while my dad is gone.

I consider myself a Christian and take the commandment of "love thy neighbor" quite seriously. I would never want to cause any undue harm, damage, etc to another person, especially one that is already struggling through hardship without much help. But, I can't help but feel that this man has abused my father's kindness, and quite frankly his behaviors make me uneasy to say the least. I have to think of my own safety first, and I fear that if he shows up while my dad is out of town, he may try something or threaten to at the very least. I feel terrible even worrying about that, but it's hard not to. So. WIBTA if I called the cops and had him removed from my property in that situation? I appreciate any feedback!!

I was at a carnival with my kids. There was this giant slide that you ride with a tube. There are 4 slides side by side so multiple people are on the platform about to get on.

It's really steep and fast, my 8 y/o wouldn't do it because she was scared so she waited at the exit. My other daughter and i finally get to the front of the line, and there's a little boy around 4 years old crying hysterically and holding onto his dad saying he didn't want to go. I had heard the crying when I was further down the line so it was probably about ten minutes at least that this kid was crying.

The dad is telling him that there's no other way down, he has to go down the slide. This wasn't true and the dad definitely knew. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't want to see this kid get traumatized. I said, kind of aggressively, "you can go down the stairs to get to the bottom. You don't have to go down the slide." The dad looks annoyed and says, "fine, let's go," and takes the boy back down. He was probably still within earshot when I said, "my God, no one should force their child to do something they are terrified of. How awful."

Don't know why the attendant didn't say anything. I know I didn't know the full situation but I can't think of any reason why doing this to your kid is justified." Should I have minded my own business?"

AITA for saying anything or should I kept it to myself. We have been together for 10 years, I have never like a tattoo she got when she was 16. I ignored it and never needed to bring it up because it didn't matter to me. All of a sudden she wants to get it removed, and on a phone conversation I told her I am happy she is getting rid of it. Now she's upset and we have been fighting because I offended her.

So me 40M and my brother 38M grew up in the best decade for toys and collectables… the 90s. Pokemon, Transformers, star wars (ep1-3), lego, tarzos, Gameboy, Nintendo, xbox, ps1 etc… we were very lucky and had it all, actually we won the xbox from a wheat bix box.

In about 2007 our mother said she wanted to clean out the house and it all had to go. My brother got first pick (I was working away at that time) and took the Pokémon, MTG, Yugio cards and Transformers. Over the years he sold off his collections as things came back into fashion. He recently sold the last of his Pokémon cards about a month ago for about $900 AUD.

When it came to my turn I decided to keep everything. I cleaned and boxed it all up where it has stayed for the last 20 years moving with me from house to house. Recently I finished building my shed and as part of that I have display cases set up with all these things, I even have an old TV setup with all the consoles so my kids can enjoy playing twisted metal, Grand Turismo 1, time crisis etc... not to mention giant Lego table set up that the kids spend hours on. I rebuilt all our childhood sets ordering the missing parts online and have them displayed too. Needless to say it’s awesome.

My brother of course on seeing this thinks its great, he then starts googling some of the things on display, and comments that one of the Lego star wars kits is worth $1100 without the box (I have the box though). He then began to inventory all “his” items which includes stuff he was given for birthdays etc…

In the end about 1/3 of the collection is “his” and he wants it back. I said no because Ive been holding onto it for 20 years moving it from house to house (6 moves). It’s not been a secret that I have had it by the way, I’ve even sent him photos at random points when I’ve pulled things out to show the kids.

He left but there was allot of “I want this back”, “its worth allot of money”, “just give me this” and “this is unfair” which has made me feel guilty. I haven’t kept anything that I would consider an iconic childhood toy for him and I actually already had a white ranger sword and Gameboy ready to go home with him, but his attitude really put me off and I kinda forgot on purpose not to give it to him. So AITA For keeping my brothers toys?

My partner (22M) and I (22F) ended up babysitting his niece "Kaitlyn" (3F) a few days ago, due to a huge emergency in his family. It was super urgent, she had to get dropped off at my house on her parents' way to where they needed to go.

Kaitlyn was very hesistant to come in the house because of our large dogs. So I asked my mom to take the dogs out in the backyard for a bit, just while we got ready (we were taking Kaitlyn to the park). My mom instead told Kaitlyn that there was "nothing to be afraid of". That did not help the situation any, so I put the dogs outside myself.

Later on, my mom told me that Kaitlyn is "so coddled" and that we should have told her it's silly to be afraid of nice dogs. Apparently it was wrong of me to "shut the dogs outside like that" as well.

AITA for putting the dogs in the backyard?

AITA for being furious that my entire room was rearranged while I was gone?

I'm 20, uni student and artist. My room is my workspace. Lots of supplies, tools, paints, projects. I have a very specific system for where everything goes.

Went out for the day. Came home to my entire room rearranged. Supplies moved, put into different boxes. I had no idea where anything was.

Spent 2 hours digging through boxes trying to put it back.

I have ADHD and OCD, so my system isn't me being picky. I know where things are because I put them there intentionally. When everything is moved, I have to relearn my whole workspace.

I was frustrated and swearing to myself while searching.

Then my 3D-printed cosplay prop I spent hours making - one of my best pieces - fell and shattered. I hadn't realized it had been moved. Someone had balanced it on top of a pogo stick.

I lost it and yelled: "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHO PUTS A HELMET ON A FUCKING POGO STICK?!"

Mom came in furious, said I was causing the mess by "moving all my shit around."

I said I didn't put it on the pogo stick, and asked why a fragile prop was put somewhere it would obviously fall.

She said: "I packed everything neatly and organised it for you. You should be grateful!"

That made me angrier because 2 days earlier I explicitly told her I hate people moving my things. We were talking about getting my dad a display case for his art, and I said he wouldn't want someone reorganizing his workspace without asking. I said I'd hate it even more if someone did it to mine. So she knew.

Dad came in and called me ungrateful and rude. I said I was ungrateful for THIS. I'm not going to pretend to be happy about something that made my workspace unusable.

I know my reaction was extreme with yelling/swearing and I should have walked away to cool down.

But I spent 2 hours fixing a workspace rearranged without permission after I specifically said not to, then something I worked hard on was destroyed because it was put somewhere unstable, and I was told to be grateful.

AITA for being furious and not being grateful? Was the anger itself unreasonable, or did I just cross the line with how I expressed

My daughter is 15 a sophomore in high school. In her history class, she has this quarterly project that is divided into 3 parts. Each part required a work cited page, as they’re mostly analyzing some type of document or something. Basically it’s printing out the document, the page analyzing it and works cited page. This teacher has a rule that if the analyzing page and works cited isn’t turned in on Google Classroom by 11:59 the day before it’s due, you get a zero for that third of the project, even if you did it, and this teacher locks it at 11:59. They also have to be printed out as well as turned in online.

My daughter does sports in the fall, so she was working on it late at night the day before it was due and turned was done by 12:01-12:05. So she got a zero for that portion of the proJect, and got a 61 overall for the project. She talked to the teacher about it but she wasn’t budging, and mt daugjter wanted me to intervene but Im not going to. The project is assigned a week and a half in advance, and she had time to work on it. It shouldn’t have even been turned it anywhweee near 11pm. I wasnt mad at her, she made a mistake, but she was mad at me for refusing to fight the teacher on this and is being cold.

My wife thinks that the teacher is being harsh and that I’m being mean by not intervening.

AITA?

My fiancée and I have been together for about 10 years. We met in high school and have two children, ages 6 and 2. About a year ago, we separated for a while but eventually reconciled and bought a home together.
During our separation, we each had our own apartments. When we got back together, I paid my termination fee and completely ended my lease. My fiancée decided to let her mom and brother move into her old apartment. At the time, they were both between jobs, and the agreement was that once they became employed, they would take over the rent and utilities.
They’ve now been there for over 10 months, and both have been employed for quite some time. Despite that, my fiancée is still paying essentially everything. The electric bill is $300–$500/month, water is over $200, plus rent. Whenever she asks for money, she’s told they’ll pay her next month, but it never happens.
Because all of her money is going toward this apartment, she has less than $100 left some months. I’m working two jobs to cover our mortgage, household bills, groceries, gas, and expenses for our kids. I don’t feel like this is fair to either of us.
This also isn’t the only financial help she’s given her family. Her brother was previously facing eviction, so she gave him a $10,000 loan to catch up on rent and pay to break his lease so he could move into the apartment. He agreed to start paying her back the following month. That never happened.Now they’re expecting her to renew the lease, despite giving her no reason to believe they’ll suddenly start paying.My fiancée is also having surgery at the beginning of the year and will be going on unpaid FMLA. I’ve asked what happens to the apartment during that time. If her mom and brother can somehow afford to cover the rent and utilities while my fiancée isn’t getting paid, then why can’t they cover them now? Her argument is that if she doesn’t renew, her mom and brother may not find another apartment in time. I understand why she feels responsible for them, and I don’t want anyone to become homeless. But I don’t think two employed adults’ housing should come at the expense of our children and our household.
What’s really getting to me is how much this is affecting me personally. I recently graduated college and I’m turning 30 this year. I should be celebrating these accomplishments, but I’m afraid to spend money on even small things. I feel guilty buying myself something or going out because I’m constantly worried about our finances and the fact that I’m working two jobs partly to compensate for money going toward someone else’s housing.
I don’t want to resent my fiancée or her family, but it’s becoming extremely difficult not to. I feel like she repeatedly puts their financial problems ahead of our home, our children, and our future.
I’m not asking her to abandon her family. I’m asking for boundaries. If her mom and brother agreed to take financial responsibility once they were employed

I'm a 24y.o female living in flat in apartment. 2 weeks ago new neighbours moved into the flat above mine

Few things worth mentioning before i get to the point.I live in Ukraine, and yall know we at the war. Air-raid alerts and explosions happen every day in city where i live.

Usually i fall asleep with something playing in the background, on my phone or TV and i know not everyone wants to hear someone YT at 2 am so I keep the volume around 30–35% and noone ever said it bothered them or made them uncomfortable in any way.

I have PTSD and struggle to sleep in silence and trying to do so made me extremely anxious and i had several panic attacks, so background noise helps me feel safe enough to rest. Sleeping in headphones isn't really an option as it's uncomfortable for me as hell. I also work 24-hour shifts at a local hotel. Although I can sometimes sleep during night, I have to check on guests and take them to the shelter when necessary, so I usually get around 3-4h of sleep max, so after shift I'm exhausted.

About 2 weeks ago, a man knocked on my door at 1 a.m. He said he's new upstairs neighbour and demanded that I turn off my TV because his child was sleeping. Half-asleep and not wanting to argue, I switched TV off but turned my phone on.

The next day, after I’d gone to work and returned the next day around 10am same man rang again with the same stuff to complain. I explained that I even wasn't home that night and turned everything off before going out so wasn't sure what he wanted from me. He decided that my neighbour across was the one so he focused on him instead .

A few days later, on the night before another shift, I was trying to get as much rest as possible when he knocked again at 2 am. I’d barely opened the door before he berated me: “Tonight is the only night that’s been quiet, without attacks or air alerts. Can’t you have some common sense and turn the TV off so my kid can sleep?”

I answered kinda sharply but i was mad at him already so I asked whether I was supposed to wait for an air-raid alert or something worse to be allowed watch TV, and pointed that if his child could sleep through attacks but not to quieter noises then he should look for other place to live. Other neighbours have young children as well and have never complained about me once in all time i lived there. I told him his child’s sleep isn't my concern and not my responsibility so i don't care if his kid sleeps or no then closed the door.

Yesterday while I was at work my landlord messaged me saying that TV has to be turned off by 9 pm. Apparently, man had found her contact, caller her and complained that i was being loud and ruining his child’s sleep.

So today, as I'm now going back home, i was thinking to pay that man a visit and say few probably not so nice words about how what he's done is not fair to me, and getting my landlord involved - is too much and he should care about his kid and not my TV been on.

AITA?

I (18M) went to Knott’s with my older sister (26F), her husband (23M), my younger sister (14F), and her friend (14F). It was my younger sister’s birthday, and my older sister said it was her day, so whatever she wanted to do was what we’d do and not to worry about prices.
Near closing, my younger sister wanted to do one more ride and haunted maze. While walking to the ride, my older sister stopped at the loaded tater tot stand cause she rlly was craving them. Her husband told us to “just go” while they waited in line. All 3 of us took that as permission to go ahead, especially since the ride was gonna be a 15 minute wait.
About 5 minutes into the line, my older sister texted asking where we went. We explained we were in line and she replied, “Well, thanks for waiting for me.” We were confused and told her we thought her husband had told us to go ahead, and that we still had spots for them.
This turned into an argument over text between me, my younger sis, and her. She said things like, “I guess this entire day was a misunderstanding” and “I’m fucking over you ungrateful kids.” She also accused us of not thanking her husband for buying us things, despite us thanking him and him only buying things like nachos and a drink. We eventually stopped arguing because we were getting on the ride and rode in silence.
Afterward, my younger sister was really upset and no longer wanted to stay for the maze. She just wanted to leave, so I told her I’d buy her and her friend something from a gift shop if we passed one.
At the exit, my older sister and her husband were there. I bought my younger sister a plush, which I think upset my older sister even more. In the car, I tried apologizing for leaving her out, but she told me to “shut the fuck up,” said she was over it, and said she was going to tell our mom.
My mom was furious with my older sister and called her selfish, saying her husband having a bad time didn’t mean she had to ruin everyone else’s day. My aunt disagrees and says we should have been more considerate because my sister drove us there. She also brought up her husband spending money on us, but my dad was actually going to reimburse him for the gas and food, which my sister already knew.
My sister is still extremely upset, and she and her husband have stopped talking to me and may have blocked me. I care a lot about our relationship and don’t want this to ruin it. So AITA? Is there a deeper thing I’m missing here?

I have been thinking about hosting a small birthday dinner at my place this year. The idea is to keep it simple, only my siblings, my parents, and maybe two close friends. I am tired of people showing up with wrapped presents I feel guilty about and then asking if they can bring dates I have never met. So I am considering sending a message that says no gifts, no extra guests, just dinner.

Im going insane over this genuinely. I am in college,I am 19 and she is 23ish, and my hall has a study room open to the hall. it has two couches and a sort of loveseat.

to the situation: I had two huge exams one week so I wanted to use the study room. I got to my hall and both couches were taken up by people that were there. No issue! I take the loss and go sit in the community kitchen to see what I can get done. small detail: I really don't like heavy food smells, so I couldn't focus well. despite this I trudge along and work in there for two hours. I check every 10-20 minutes to see if a place in the study room has opened.

After a while, both people were gone, but all of their things were still there. This isn't too uncommon, sometimes people run to their rooms to get something they forgot. There was a laptop, an iPad, a blanket, several notebooks and a backpack.

but every time I check nobody is there and both couches and the loveseat are taken up by the items.

after a cumulative around 3.5 hours I message in the hall group chat 'how long have these things been unattended? I am trying to use the room. I'll wait another thirty minutes and then move it all onto one couch.'

the person immediately responded saying 'Oh I forgot them when I left. I'm coming to get them DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS'

what? who the heck forgets a laptop and an iPad???

so I said 'you probably shouldn't leave things like that unattended, they'll get stolen' to which she responded 'I wish they would'.

anyway, she eventually returns and starts telling me off for threatening to touch her things. It's not like I said I was going to throw it away or anything, just to move it all onto one seat so I could use the room.

to note: I thought it was both girls' items, it was one girl taking up the entire room.

also: I am fully aware this is a childish situation to still be caught up on. its just eating at me. Am I crazy? I didn't actually touch her things.

I'm a recovering people pleaser and I'm autistic. My brother is engaged to an extremely abusive girl. They just decided to get married in a month. I've voiced my opinions and he isn't hearing what I have to say. Ive come to terms with that. I can't stand to be around her and don't want to be around her. Others in the family don't like her and they talk bad about her behind her back but can tolerate her when she comes to gatherings. I can't. I can't act like I like her when I don't. I don't agree or support them getting married. AITA if I don't go to their wedding?

If I end up going I know I can't act happy or excited for them, because I'm not and I don't want to put a rain cloud over their day.

Reasons I don't like her:

She started love bombing right away. After their first date, she headed back to her grandma's house but turned around because "she was too tired to drive" she wanted to spend the night with him but he didn't want that but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

She isolated him and made him get rid of his Snapchat

About a month later she moved in with him because she was homeless and had no where her or her 2 year old could stay.

She lies a lot, I've caught her in atleast 10+ lies.

She had her 2 year old call him dad right away.

She was on birth control (then she admitted that she actually wasn't on BC) and then about month 4 she became pregnant on accident, sadly miscarried in the first trimester. Then she was adamant on not wanting another kid and then she became pregnant again a month or so after the miscarriage.

They fight, a LOT. He says it's gotten a little better recently. In my opinion the first year or so should be the easiest/happiest part of the relationship.

She will say "you don't love me unless ...." and then he just does it.

Her or her 1st daughter don't have a relationship with her 1st daughters dad. She told me that she invited him & his family to the baby shower and got their gifts and then didn't let his family meet the baby or even tell them when she was in labor. She ended up inviting all of us to the baby shower they had together and we bought her gifts and then they didn't let any of us meet the baby for like 4 months.

I've looked at picture of him with his past relationships and he looks like a shell of a person who he use to be.

She has mentioned to myself and my mom "that I'm not going anywhere and we are stuck with her"

Unfortunately my brother has to open his eyes and save himself but AITA if I sit out the wedding? Also the wedding is on a Friday since no venues have openings last minute and I would have to take the day off.

My fiancé (28F) and I (28M) are getting married in a few months. We have been going through much of the planning with my mom, as she and my dad are paying for the majority of the wedding. Recently we were discussing the ceremony, and my mom said that she wanted us to have readings during the ceremony. She suggested that my sister (31F) read a short passage and one of my fiance‘s three brothers could read something too. We disagreed and said that we didn’t see any need for readings and if we did find something that really spoke to us, we would just have the officiant read it.

My mom was upset by this and said that my sister didn’t have a role in the wedding and that we were intentionally excluding her. Our feeling is that it isn’t a school play and we don’t have to give a role to everyone. Also, one of my fiancé’s brothers will walk her mom down the aisle, but otherwise none of them have any part in the wedding either.

However, all of the men in the family (including my sister’s husband) will be wearing matching tuxes for family photos. My mom has presented this as evidence that we are including the rest of the family but excluding my sister. I would understand this if the women were matching except my sister, but all of them women will be wearing their own unique dresses, so I don’t get this argument.

AITA for not giving my sister a role in the wedding?

EDIT: Many people in the comments are assuming I am the bride. I am actually the groom. I am not sure whether my sister even wants a role in the wedding or not. My mom said when she brought this up that my sister hadn’t said anything to her about it. I haven’t talked to her about it yet either. I wanted to know if IWBTA or not first before discussing it.

Further context: the wedding party is small and consists of my best man, one other groomsman (who is also acting as the officiant), the maid of honor, and one other bridesmaid. I was one of 8 or 9 groomsman during my sister’s wedding 3 years ago, and I also did half of a reading (along with the groom’s sister) during her wedding. My sister and I have a cordial relationship but are not particularly close for a variety of small reasons.

This year I just want to relax at home over Christmas break from work and take time to myself. I do not want to even celebrate Christmas. My parents were expecting me to travel across the country to be with my family but I told them this and they got mad and are trying to guilt me into coming. I told them it has nothing to do with them or the family (truly) I just thought I would relax over the Holidays at home instead.