Being a woman, it's not super helpful when other women play these games. We're trying to be reasonable and transparent about it, and then the reasonable and transparent guys have to interpret that as a potential game because a group of childish people are still playing these childish games. So glad the system is righting itself a bit and making it more observable, easier to dismiss, more difficult to attempt, and with a much reduced likelihood for a payoff. This is all good news for everybody.
Edit: sorry, not good news for the unreasonable and deceptive people. Good news for the reasonable ones
Hey, I am on your side and I always try to start with a clean slate when I meet new people, but what actually opened my eyes was one woman who always said yes, okay, let's go! only to tell her friends I forced her to participate in activities and apparently I never heard her out.
99 percent of my friends I told were as baffled as I was when I heard it from one of her friends, who told me what a piece of work I was. By the way, it was a platonic and non-romantic relationship, so double WTF?
But it is hard when people hear about events others experienced and see those possibly happening in their own lives, and therefore build their fortresses, have a people-pleasing tendency, or cannot express their needs and wants.
Oh yeah, I would be massively cautious if something like that had happened to me. That's way too high stakes too. People pleasers for example don't really see all their harmful downstream effects, and it never starts with malicious intention - so can resist reflecting on their harmful actions. Fear has never been a good reason to fuck someone over.
We shouldn't divide people like this, but I sometimes think how lovely it would be if instead of doing a man v woman thing, we could switch to a more 'reasonable men and women' v 'unreasonable men and women' thing. And give a bit more primacy to the individual too, we're super diverse.
That’s refreshing. And makes me feel better about an unhinged tinder response I got from a woman in her 30s. She’s attractive but yeah I gotta remember I converse with adults not adult sized children
Years ago I was hooking up with this chick id known for awhile but this was our first time fucking
and she goes 'no stop' so I stopped and was like are u ok, cos we were both drunk and shes like 'yeah keep going' so I get back to it and she starts going 'no stop stop' again and pushing me off so im like wtf ok im stopping and she starts whispering 'no dont actually stop keep going' im like wtf you keep telling me to stop tho and then shes like 'yeh but dont actually stop...you know...just keeping going and ignore me' so I say but then its like... and im about to say 'its like im raping you' and just before i say it she gives me this look like im a fucking moron and then.... then I realised what she was asking for.
Whole time I was waiting for the police to kick in the door lol
I had a similar experience. She didn't like that she was hooking up so early in dating, didn't want to feel responsible for that. So we're just about to get into it, she says stop, so I stop and ask her, do you want me to keep going? She says no. So I say okay. A pause, then she says well, yes. So I say but you said no. She says no but also yes.
We aren’t a hive mind. Normal healthy people don’t play hard to get. Cut, dry, simple.
‘Hard to get’ is a game played by people with big egos or emotional avoidance issues who like to ‘dominate challenges’ it is no way the predominant human behavior for either gender.
Normally I'd agree with you but men don't typically play hard to get. There are differences in the way genders generally tend to act, even if we don't want to admit it.
Neither do women typically play hard to get. You’d be surprised to know that there’s roughly an equal amount of them per gender. 🤣 I’ve had lots of guys play hard to get. I’ve gotten bullied or treated so weird by guys only for them to reveal they actually liked me the entire time
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u/Chumlee1917 10d ago
"Why don't men understand our signals."
The Signals: