Accidentally fell in love with a married man. In my defence he “forgot “ to mention he had a wife, untill a month into our relationship.

Sijui nifanye nini. I like him, ngl, but heeeh😭😭😭

Just an ask

I've been in a relationship for almost 6 years huyu Gen z ataniua na pressure 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️are u guys going through these ama ni Mimi because my Girl anataka end month I put my salary on the table then she budgets vile tutatumia🥲🥲the worst part, during an argument anashout as if we are a village away.

Nafikiria kumtimua nitafute mtu huku bt naogopa nitaangukia worse

I (M) have a girlfriend. So she was invited out by this guy she met in school. The guy came up with the date spots and sent them to her for her to choose. I wasn't okay with it coz I know the guy's intentions but I was like you do what you feel like.

So she chose this restaurant in kilimani Kahvalti. I got to look it up and was like okay the guy is putting in the work... not bad.. so they were to go the following day. Around midnight the guy texts and is like can we reschedule pesa nilikuwa nategea haijamake and my girl was like no problem.

I was going to work the following day so I left quite early by mid day I was done then by around 1 and was heading to town. So she calls me saying the guy has said they can go. But they opted for a closer location around Ruiru ( Zocalo). They were to meet around 5 pm. So here is where the story is.

They took a cab to and from the place.... they also had some food over there... I got to see her transactions and knowing her I was like kwani ulikula nini hiyo.Only for me to be told the guy asked her to pay the bill.... she ended up paying for the guy's bill and hers too also she was also made to pay for the cab to and from. He also had the guts to order beer.

It's not only that situation, every single time they hang out he's always asking her to get him something and doesn't send her money( without compensating her back ) she's even loaned him money which he's yet to repay. My girlfriend has money like good Money. I tried to make her see that the guy is only friends with her coz he knows she has money but she was in denial juu she barely has friends (introvert) so she was clinging onto the friendship.

I don't know how to make her see that she's being used without me looking insecure or the jealous boyfriend.

Just ordered my first call girl online. Trust me it's a thing. Kila industry inarevolutionize , am sure next pia wataincprporate ai.

I am very conflictes about the whole experience. Dem alikuja was better than my expectations in appearance. Nilikua naexpect mumama but ni kadem probably 20/21 petite, pretty, lightskin. I have never done this so I decided on massage first. Horrible massage. I was gonna let go but she insisted on hooking up coz I had already paid the full amount anyway.

Hookup was fine. Peoblem comes after. I had to know who this was and what's the deal with her. I know how to locate people online easily.

First her socials, apparently she is a minister, all her posts have gospel and she is very active in church. Second is she has a boyfriend or is married.

My flabbers have been ghasted.

Anyway I was just doing it for research purposes to compare between that or dating which is more suitable for me. I work nonstop so time constraints and all that.

What was your experience if you have tried that?

We met last year. (I'm 29M and she's 26F)

She was doing a catering gig for my friend's Grandma Funeral. I started collecting the plates as soon as people were done eating (and my friend, the one who was the only person I knew got stolen from me lmao) and that's how we knew each other.

It was perfect. Rose tinted glasses I guess since It had been 2 years since I was in a relationship.

We met at least once a week, usually in the weekend, Eating home cooked meals (I also know how to cook) and Netflix accompanied with cuddles and sex (more on this later).

The catering gigs were no more, but she got a job at the local school but it was paying peanuts.

I didnt mind helping, at all, at least when I was able to. But all of that led to here.

I dont make much, my salary is a mere 25K I live in a 1bedroom house for 8.5K (Gate keeping the location) and the rest of the bills and expenses/supplies can bring my total usage to 15- 19K and the rest is saved up​​​​​​​​​​.

This girl didnt like the idea that I just had savings. "Let's go shopping" "I want flowers" "Gas imeisha" "I want a dress for valentines" and I had to ​​put my foot down by the 2nd time. The requests now became reasonable and not as frequent.

As you can probably tell, she had the mentality of "tumia pesa had I ikuzoe" which I was against. I always have a gut feeling and it sure as hell manifested twice this year.

The first was my phone. The huawei Y5P I had been using since 2019 died. Served me long but it was time for an upgrade. I bought a Galaxy A17. She also wanted a phone. I told her in the future.

2 months later, she's pregnant. I was flabbergasted namely since not only did I wear a condom, but also never came. Yeah, she did jerk me off at first and so I concluded that it was most likely precum, so I just caved in and took responsibility. We went to MarieStopes. BTW it costs around 40K (2K Consultation, 8200 tests, 19950 for the pills, 8600 for the check up afterwards), acha hizo story za 15K nilikuwa nasoma on r/Kenya...

All my savings for my new laptop, gone.

I had to talk with the landlord to spare me a month and to my surprise, he agreed, only because huwa simsumbui...

Remember how I mentioned sex, yeah, the lies started there. When we started having sex, she told me she was a virgin. Never been with a virgin but there was no blood in sight, or smell. Yeah my senses are crazy good, I can smell her period before it even begins... But still I took her word for it.

Sex was mid AF BTW.

Then came the inconsistencies. The 1K I sent for a screen repair? Well a new dress miraculously spawned in her wardrobe... The mom who she visited today at the hospital (inpatient)? I just bumped in to her while buying omena at the market and she's as fit as a fiddle...

All these things I turned a blind eye too just caught up to me up to this week when she lied to me about being sexually harassed by her cousin. Her story didnt make sense (She got a UTI test minutes after it happened all while getting P2 from the govt hospital and everything else done without a P3 form/OB). She told me a week later, and this so called cousin apparently isn't in the county nor knows about her place here as they never visited; as per her sister whom I also bumped into yesterday (Honestly, wanted to kill that nigga so I wanted to know about him first).

I felt betrayed and I think Imma have to call it quits when it comes to relationships.

Haven't broken up with her, but haven't talked to her since Thursday (1St Oct 26)

Also the realisation that that child most likely wasn't mine...

I'm so tired...

Update: Thanks for the kind words. Broke up with her over text just an hour ago. She hasn't seen the messages but its time for me to go back to my cocoon.

Freedom is in the air.

So yesterday after work we passed by bla bla and next thing I know we are out in an uber headed to another joint then to her house. Kumbe alikua amenimark we did the deed I left at 6 in the morning leo. Those who have ever done this how does it go from here ,monday morning will I have to pretend to love her or the distance just maintains and we act like nothing happened.

Update I am a M and workmate F

Kuna huyu dem we started talking last month. When I got the contact I was interested but that changed quickly after. Multiple reasons; she is a pathological liar, I catch her in a lie in every single conversation we have, second is I can clearly tell her intentions. She thinks I have money, we're both in campus but I have a business that's doing okay, now every conversation for the first three weeks we had she brought up money, she was always either asking for money, asking me to buy her something, making plans on somewhere she wants me to take her...etc.

I pointed it out on the third week and she promised to stop

I realized she hadn't realized she was doing it. Stopped for like a day or two then went back to normal. I distanced myself for like a week and I think she realized I was losing interest and stopped. Now she isn't asking for money but is always calling me then ni wale watu hawaezi hold conversation, Like hey then they expect you to carry the rest of the conversation.

In her mind she thinks the fact that she calls and we talk means we are in a talking stage but mimi aliniacha huko nyuma

How do I tell her without sounding rude?

I was recently hanging out with some guy I have been friends with for a while now. We started off as a talking stage/almost relationship so now that it didn’t work I really just avoided him. We’ve been bumping into each other at events and at some point we lived in the same area. We haven’t really had an intentional meet up until recently. We went drinking with his friends and they kept on asking if we’re together😭. So on our way home I thought we’d go to his but alikataa😭. I felt dumb for asking. He genuinely wanted to catch up and there wasn’t any motive behind him asking to hang out. I don’t know if I’ll ever talk to him again because it’s embarrassing as fuck😭. Also do men find it weird if a girl makes the first move?

I need the men’s POV pls. Am I overthinking it?

Edit: he’s not married, we’re both in our mid twenties and we’ve known each other for years now.

Today the fine young man(me) finally gathered the energy to leave my bed and go run some errands here and there. A quick shower and some cologne to leave the house looking presentable then on my way back I pass by a shop to buy something small for lunch using my last 100 bob.

As i collect my order and go outside to find a seat i notice something at the corner of my eye...someone is looking at me. I sit down and look up and my eyes are met with a beautiful female face. Her skin is light and smooth, she has hair which has recently been done and her simple outfit struggles to contain her big but shapely behind. I double check behind me but there is no one, indeed she was smiling at me.

But I ask myself, where will hitting on her actually achieve? I have no car , no money, no place of my own, sasa nitaomba number nifanyie nini? Na si ati I am being pessimistic, I once had another damsel like her, she was getting hit on every single day. Ultimately I just finished my chips mwitu and went back home...I felt sorry for her, but tbh I gotta at least have my own place before thinking about being someones boyfriend.

​

No woman wants to marry to suffer,unaita nani gold digger na hauna pesa? God alieka hiyo desire ya maisha mzuri kwa wanawake wote, she's not just thinking about herself,she's thinking about the children too. Kama hauna kitu, don't marry. Wait until you can add money to love!

I'm 25M, and my girlfriend is 31F. I met her when I was 20 and she was 26. We have been together for four years, and everything has been fine, but now the age gap has started hitting me hard.

I'm doing well financially, and my girlfriend really wants marriage, but I'm not ready. Given my current situation, I've told her that I might be ready in the next 8–10 years. However, our timelines don't align because I want kids, and considering her age, I might be putting her at risk by asking her to wait that long.

As a side note, I recently met another girl, 23F, who is now my side chick. We met her at a social event with my girlfriend, and this girl started hitting on me, saying she wants me to be her boyfriend and that she wants me to marry her. She's been very insistent, even though she knows I already have a girlfriend.

I'm torn between breaking things off with my current girlfriend so I can focus on fixing my life, but I also don't want to immediately jump into another relationship.

A month ago this girl ive known for a while hit me up after i posted a nice photo and was curious about my relationship status, we started talking daily, sharing secrets, i could feel us coming closer to each other. However there was one problem;

The problem was, she didnt want to meet( or so i thought.) We went on a date once in a whole month. When i try to initiate something all of a sudden she takes a whole day to reply, with an "excuse" why we couldnt do it. Ive tried 3 times and my final straw came recently:

She had been at a grad party last friday and drinking the whole night, then on saturday morning at 10 am she asks if I'm free we could meet up. I felt disrespected, kwani hakujua atakua free Saturday, when i ask someone out i give like a 1 day margin . Yeye ananikumbuka saa zenye ameboeka, ama her other options have bailed on her.

Given that this was a pattern and not an isolated event nimeamua kumwachia hio talking stage. Now shes blowing up my phone with heart emojis and fake check ups. But accepting her back would validate what she has always thought of me; the safe option. Ama niko strict sana??

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while, but we’re long distance and he has basically no social media. How do I do some due diligence?

At this point he could have a whole wife and kids in Kenya and I’d never know 😂 Any help to find out?

I’m sitting here in the same house with my bestie after last night’s madness and the tension is thick, hatujaongea tangu tuamke. For context were females age group 18-23. How did we even get here?

I had a client who didn’t mind my friend being around. He bought a mzinga, we took a few shots, played the infamous truth or dare then he asked how much it would cost for a3sum. Everything went went straight to hell in the best way.

I didn’t know my girl had that nasty side weuh I'm still in awe…..our tits pressed together, skin slapping, tongues down each other’s throats as we took turns creaming on his dick and making a dripping mess of the sheets, whole room turned into a wet, moaning playground. Pure filthy fun with no vanilla.

Lowkey… part of me wants to do it again, I mean it could become our signature style hehe... But for now, I need to fix this tension between us kwanza. Mniitie ata hookup nitoke kwa nyumba ama mkuje mpunguze tension😭

Just next door, lives this Mzee neighbour who moved in 3 months ago. A month ago, I was chilling at the rooftop around 1800hrs smoking some foreign and this baddie (Lets call her Dee) comes and asks for a puff. We got high, talked and i found out she's a daughter to the Mzee neighbour, visiting from the coast. So it became a norm, in the evening when i go to the rooftop, she tags along, we chill and burn, sometimes she shows up with some booze. Dee is curvy and pretty, though she's older than me. So this day we were chilling at the rooftop, both a little tipsy, she's dancing suggestively and i tried to make my move. Dee stopped the music and told me," Usiwai niguza". Tells me I'm not her type na mimi ni 'mtoto'. Embarrassment...

We stopped hanging out and 2 days later she went back to the coast.

I have a girl, a light skin beautiful baddie,(Let's call her Tiff), older than me (i love my women 3-5 years older than me) and curvy. She has her place and comes to my place sometimes or i go to her's. So, last week, Tiff showed up to my place unannounced but i was not around. Called me and i told her i had travelled home(ushago in machakos,not far from Nairobi) days ago but i was on my way back to the city.

I get to my apartment and i find Tiff isn't there, called her and she said ako kwa my neighbour.I go to my balcony and i see her at the balcony ya mzee neighbour akiwa na Dee!!, Turns out Dee saw Tiff at my door then Tiff asked Dee if she has seen me. Dee says no and that she had arrived the previous night and my house has been quiet the whole day. Tiff calls me and i tell her I am on my way, so Dee invites her in their house to chill as she waits for me.

Baddies were having red wine and the smell of 'foreign' was all over. Dee gets excited to see me and asks me to join them... Her father is never around and he only shows up on weekends and I am like why not?? I took a quick shower, rexona men extra cool kwa armpit and i left my house to join Tiff na Dee kwa balcony ya kina Dee.

Sherehe hapa kule, and it's getting late.Tiff says she has to leave since her mom is asking her to go pick her daughter. I leave with Tiff, go to my place, she gives me a quickie and she leaves...

The following day, Dee knocked on my door, and asked if I was free We hung out. I say ok. Woman goes back to their house and comes back with Glenfiddich. We get high and drunk, she orders some food..

She tells me how Tiff told her about our shit... How i make her c*m and she wants me in her bed that night. I asked her "but you told me I'm not your type, plus i am young to you" Her defence was, she didn't know me well earlier and thought i was just a random looser.This comes after seeing my home studio set up.

She leaves, since her dad was coming and she needed to go shopping. Her dad showed up with some friends later in the evening and it seemed like they had a little party...

Towards 23:00 hrs Dee WhatsApp calls me... Asks if I'm ready to join her, and i ask, " what about your dad??🤷🏽‍♂️" and she's like, " he's fast asleep on the couch... I wanna sneak you in my bedroom". This baddie is crazy, she wants to sneak me to her bedroom while her dad is in the house?? I mean, i found it exciting and adventurous.

I ask her to come to my place, she says no and that it would be a mistake if her dad found out she slept over at my place and then goes ahead and tells me to come to their door... I freshened up and locked my house. She picked me from the door, and we tiptoed to her room. It.was scary but exciting. Dee rides me the whole night... Dad left the following morning and we had the whole day to ourselves. Baddie had a flower she'd put on the cl*t and it vibrated the coochie as i d*cked her down till she squirted.

Fast forward, she's addicted to me, she's jealous of Tiff. I can't let go of Tiff. She's threatening to tell Tiff how things went down between us.

Kabusie.

There is this guy, we work in the same company but different department. He asked me out last year but I was in a relationship so I turned him down. A year later last week he asked me out again and I said Yes because he is cute andi kinda like him

We went on a date had lunch. Talked about life. Then we went to his place. Gave it up on the first date( don't crucify me)😭😂. He was good and a gentleman and he gave me fare on my way home. At home I called him told me I was home and thanked him for the good time and the fare juu I wasn't expecting it.

The next day I tried to talk to him. The " what are we conversation" but we really never got to the point. He takes forever to answer a text after he told me he is a texter na mm ni caller.

This conversation started like a week ago and yesterday is when he finally said he wants us to be in a relationship. I asked him what he expects from the relationship hajajibu adi leo. Probably he will take another week to answer. Mind you I have been trying to call him he doesn't answer but when he comes back he says he was held up then disappears again.

During our date he told me things were harder at home since his dad died this year and he took on the responsibility of paying his siblings school fees. Should I wait for him to figure out his shit ama I just leave him alone completely?

Today I (M) just want to pour my heart out. I have had enough and I know it will get even worse. I created this account but I never use it because I want to be as anonymous as I can. I am very lonely and it sucks. I have tried everything bro. I genuinely want to feel how I felt before when I had people around me and when I could at least not think and be in my feels all the time. I genuinely want a community or a person where these thoughts can escape.

I have tried planning meetups with friends but it seems all of them are busy or there is no interest. I initiate. Jana I even offered to pay one for a ticket only for them to say ati "its cold and they are lazy". Maybe my need or want for companionship/community is visible and a turn off. Maybe I try too much. But honestly, I want to thrive but it is seemingly impossible because I actually do feel lonely. I am planning on going to CBD to buy some food for myself and maybe a beer. I hope it gets better, and if it doesn't, I hope I get the strength to go through all this.

So last year November I met a guy, we liked each other and started dating almost immediately. The guy was 31 and I 24 at that time. He has a son.

Our first few weeks were okay apart from a few complaints from me about communication( he didn't like texting, but he would call at least everyday). Around December some issues started, I was in his house once and he got some message from a lady claiming she misses him and she'd want to talk to him. I asked about it and he said nothing like that exists(the gas lighting here was pro max 😅).

Same December he traveled home and I remained in Nairobi, the communication became worse. Come January I had to move to a different area, away from Nairobi. This again strained the relationship and I called it quits, his answer was simply okay.

The subsequent that is February, I kept texting him(simping), mostly when I was tipsy. I never got any response from him. In March I sent my last text, I told him I'll never text him again and I never did.

Now in July, the man reached out claiming that he misses me (sent a lot of sexual stickers), I just knew he missed the sexual part. He texted on a Thursday but went silent again till I reached out to him on Sunday, he dismissed me saying we'll talk later, we never did, till I reached out again (I know how it looks😅). Honestly I love the person and him reaching out to me made me hopeful of something.

On Monday he said we could meet so I went over to his house, we got physical (sexually). Now we didn't talk about anything, what the sex means and all that and I was left confused. As a person who likes clarity I asked him what he wants from me this time....no response yet. I'm confused about all this honestly. I feel I made a mistake sleeping with him. I feel that is all he wanted from me.

Any advice on what I should do in such a situation🥲😅?

At the youth service today.
When l stand up to leave this babe comes next to me smiling.
She asks me for my number smiling.
I look at her and laugh.
I thought she would leave.
She says she hasn’t seen me in church for a long time.
I don’t respond.
She still keeps smiling.
At this point nimesimama tu.
She left .
Shit was so awkward.
Ladies please don’t approach men.
I felt so weird tbh.
Ama ni cause l am seeing someone but it just wasn’t it for me.

My man and I have a great relationship, 1 beautiful kid, a business together… literally zero problems.

Except one: ED.

It started last year and has gotten worse recently. He’s tried hospitals, exercise, organic remedies,you name it.

I eventually stopped getting my hopes up.
Then he went away for a month and kept telling me, “Babe, things are working again. I’m getting hard like kitambo.” 😭
So when he came back, I was READY. Lingerie, nails, coochie waxed, favorite meal 😭😭

We started kissing at the door and everything was PERFECT.
Until he lost his erection halfway through😭

I got frustrated, we argued, and he eventually told me I should just sleep with another man and keep it a secret because he feels like he’s depriving me.

I’m crying on the balcony at 2AM when suddenly…
“AHEM.”
Our neighbor.
This man had been listening. 😭
My partner quickly claimed it was a joke and he “just wanted to see my reaction.”

Sasa leo I meet the same neighbor on the rooftop.
This man who normally just says hi suddenly wants to know if I’m okay, how my day was…
Then he asks:
“Do you need a massage?” Ati I look tired 😏😔😔

SIR??? 😭😭😭

I faked a phone call and went straight back inside.
At this point, I even feel like moving out of this apartment!!

Hi, is there a group in Nairobi for Sex addicts that want to get help and stop? Please share details.